How To Be Positive Without Feeling Fake

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The “fake it ’til you make it” technique when it comes to positivity is total BS. Plastering on a smile when your lips want to naturally curve downward. Posting an overly uplifting quote on Facebook when you don’t fully believe it. Telling yourself that everything is great, when in reality, everything is falling apart.

All of these things are only temporary solutions to long-term issues. You’re not going to become a genuinely happy and upbeat person if you do these things. You’re going to feel like a fraud.

However, this doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to become positive. There are many things you can do to transform yourself and your thoughts without feeling fake. Here are some ideas to get you started:

  1. Create realistic goals. Have a list of both short-term and long-term goals that you know are achievable. Make sure your goals are things that will help you grow as a person. Personalize your goals as much as possible to assure that you’re not copying general goals that people have. Having things to work towards will help you build up your mental strength and it will change your whole perspective on life. Additionally, once you reach a goal, the feeling of euphoria is a feeling that no fake smile can obtain.
  2. Have full awareness of your problems. Many people believe that ignoring a problem will make it go away, or it will make it seem like the problem just isn’t there. Ignorance is not bliss at all. If you are constantly lying to yourself and claiming that nothing is wrong, you’re doing yourself more harm than good. Sit down and take a moment to identify anything on your mind that is bothering you. You can either write everything down on paper or just sit there and think. Sorting out everything that is wrong will help you to add to your list of goals and it will help you figure out productive solutions.
  3. Remove negative people from your life. If a friend is having a negative impact on you because of his/her attitude, you should reconsider having that person in your life. It’s pointless to have a person in your life who just provides drama and stress, rather than comfort and happiness. It can be difficult to cut a friend out of your life, but in this case, you need to put yourself first. You need to truly think about the negativity this person is bringing to your life and how much it’s affecting you. In the end, it’s not worth it to stay friends with someone for his/her sake. Only keep those in your life who lift you up.
  4. Engage in “feel good” activities. You have to figure out exactly what activities make you feel happy. Exercising can naturally make everyone feel happier because of those awesome endorphins. Engaging in your favorite hobby is important because doing what you love will give instant gratification. It’s also fun to explore new hobbies and activities in order to maintain personal growth. Search the Internet for a new, unique hobby that looks interesting to you. You can even find something new to do with a significant other or a friend. It can feel great to be doing things you want to do outside of things that you have to do. Live your life the way you want to and you’ll be a lot happier.
  5. Accept failure. It’s easy to feel down after something doesn’t go the way you wanted it to. While it’s perfectly OK to let yourself feel sad about it, don’t let that feeling last forever. You have to realize that no one is perfect, and that things will not always work out. Sometimes you’re going to fail at a goal, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Obviously we all crave success over failure; however, if we never accept failure, we will never accept ourselves. The good thing about failure is that it will force you to work harder. It will make you want to change the way you do things because you don’t want to see failure again. Once you are able to accept failure, you’ll be able to have more faith in yourself to keep persevering.
  6. Allow yourself to feel every emotion freely. If you’re only forcing yourself to feel happy, all of your other emotions are going to be trapped inside you. If you never let those other emotions out, you’re going to feel even worse. It’s OK to feel negative emotions. If human beings were only capable of feeling happiness, we’d be really boring and stagnant creatures. Just imagine you’re watching a movie and the characters were always smiling and nothing ever seemed wrong. Do you know how lame that would be? Allow yourself to fully embrace every emotion that you feel, even if you aren’t used to it. If you are able to adapt to expressing all of your emotions, it’ll help you become a stronger person in the end.
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Taylor Swift Songs That Will Put You In A Good Mood

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Taylor Swift is the queen of angry and sad breakup songs, but she is also wonderful at releasing songs dealing with new beginnings and positivity. I decided to look through all the Taylor songs that I own (a lot of songs….like over 100!) and post the ones that I feel best give off an upbeat/positive vibe. Whether you’re a fan of hers or not, at least take a listen to some of these:

Begin Again:

Begin Again is all about starting a new relationship after you’ve been trying to move on from your ex. It reflects the wonderful feelings you can get once you let go and try something new with someone else.

Hey Stephen:

Hey Stephen is a song that you would totally sing to that cute boy you have a crush on. He may have all these girls pining after him but hey, you’re totally positive that you’re the one for him.

Change:

Change is a great song because you can relate it to almost anything you’re going through. If you’re going through a rough time just know that “these things will change” and times will get better.

Fearless:

Fearless is another song about starting new with someone. Being “fearless” with someone means to let go and dive in and see how wonderful it can be.

Jump Then Fall:

Jump Then Fall reflects a song about liking a guy and telling him that he doesn’t have to be afraid of any consequences of falling for you. This can also reflect the idea that you shouldn’t be afraid of falling for someone just because you’re afraid of getting hurt. You just go for it and see what happens!

22:

22 is a great song to dance to with your friends because it’s all about having fun and not having a care in the world. This song is especially awesome to jam out to if you’re a single lady because it’ll make you just want to appreciate your life and not worry about anything.

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together:

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together is a wonderful song for someone who has recently gone through a breakup and is like, soo done. Not only is it a fun song to dance to, but it’s one of those breakup songs that doesn’t make you want to cry, but instead makes you smile and sing a long.

Everything Has Changed:

Everything Has Changed not only features the beautiful voice of Ed Sheeran, but it also contains lyrics about finding someone new. It marks those first feelings you have when you start to fall for someone and how amazing it truly is.

Mean:

Mean is a song you can jam out to when you want to tell the haters what’s up. It reflects the fact that there are going to be people out there who may not like you or appreciate you, but you shouldn’t care because you are going to do great things in life, while those people waste their time putting you down.

Long Live:

Long Live can be interpreted in many different ways, but I feel like it has an overall vibe to it. Taylor wrote it specifically about her fans, and how grateful she is for all the experiences she has had going on tour and becoming successful with her music. It just has a great feel to it and can instantly brighten your mood.

Sweeter Than Fiction:

Sweeter Than Fiction was a song that Taylor wrote for a movie, and isn’t very well known by everyone, but I still think it’s an amazing song. It’s about someone who struggles to find someone to believe in them, and keeps on failing at what they’re trying to pursue, but should keep on trying, because eventually they’ll make it. It’s a great motivational song for anyone who is trying to work hard towards something.

Shake It Off:

Shake It Off is not only a fun song to dance around your room to, but it also just makes you feel good in general. It’s basically about not caring what the haters (or anyone) thinks of you because you know you’re awesome. Just shake it off!

Blank Space:

Blank Space is a fun song because in it, Taylor is essentially making fun of herself for being known as a serial dater, and she is telling the next guy that she’ll add his name to her list of ex lovers. Whether you relate to this insanity or not, it’s a great song to listen to when you want to just sing and be in a better mood.

Quote Of The Day:

Why You Shouldn’t Hate Your Ex’s Significant Other

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After a breakup, it can be tough moving on, and it’s even more tough trying to deal with the idea of your ex being with someone else. Once your ex starts dating someone else, your immediate reactions are:

1. “What?! How did he/she move on so soon?!”

2. “Omg their new gf/bf is so ugly!”

3. “HAHAHA he/she totally downgraded from me!”

4. “Lol, she/he has to put up with him/her now, sucks to be them.”

You see a trend here? Putting down your ex’s new flame might make you feel better in the moment, but in reality, you probably shouldn’t be doing that. In most cases, the new flame didn’t do anything to personally hurt you. Heck, chances are they might not even know you. Even though you aren’t saying these things to their face, the idea of it all is still morally repulsive. Putting someone else down just to boost your own self esteem will only result in self destruction.

Your ex is the one who chose to date someone else, so ultimately, you were hurt by them, and not by their significant other. I’m not saying you should hate your ex (because you shouldn’t hate anyone really), but I’m saying that it’s not worth it to sit there picking out the physical flaws of the new person they’re dating because it’s a waste of time. You should instead be finding ways to move on and better yourself.

It’s always tempting to creep on your ex’s Facebook (if they haven’t blocked you) or creep on his/her gf/bf, but you could be using that time more productively. You’ll just keep feeling resentment and sadness if you keep looking on their pages, so what is the actual point of looking? Do you really want to keep reminding yourself of the situation? NO! So here are some steps you can take:

1. Block your ex and his/her significant other from EVERY social media site. If they haven’t already blocked you, block them from everything ASAP so you won’t be tempted to look at anything they’re doing. Also block their number while you’re at it, because why not.

2. Stop thinking about your ex. This is easier said than done, but it is possible. You just have to immerse yourself in activities that you enjoy, such as spending time with friends, in order to keep your mind busy.

3. Understand that you will also find someone new someday, on your own time. You’ll find someone new when you’re ready, and when the time is right. Don’t worry so much about competing with your ex by trying to upgrade to a better person. Take it slow, and wait until you find someone who treats you right and who you are content with.

4. Learn how to be happy on your own before dating again. You should never live life counting on someone else to complete your happiness. Only YOU can make YOU happy, and you need to remember that.

Also just remember this: people move on, because that’s the way life is, and that should be taken as a lesson instead of a hardship.

Quote Of The Day:

10 Underrated People Whom We Should Appreciate More

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1. Nice people in traffic. 

You know that lovely moment when you’re trying to switch lanes and then FINALLY that one nice person lets you in? It’s people like that, that I am thankful for. It’s important to always give that friendly traffic wave to them right after they let you in, otherwise you’re giving them the cold shoulder and they’ll come back for revenge (okay, maybe I’m exaggerating, but seriously, be nice back to them!). Also, be sure to pay it forward by letting someone go in front of you in traffic at least once in awhile. They’ll appreciate you and you’ll feel great when they give you that ever-so underrated wave.

2. Friendly cashiers. 

It always makes me feel better about the world when a cashier at a store is extremely friendly and upbeat. It makes me realize that there are great people in this world, no matter what their circumstances are. And if you come across a not so friendly cashier who isn’t smiling (which, trust me, I’ve come across some of those), try to be the better person and make their day better. Be extra friendly to them, and smile a lot, and maybe even give them a compliment! It can be something small, like “hey, I love your shirt!” (unless they’re wearing a uniformed work shirt which would be kind of weird if you complimented that). You could just possibly make them feel better and improve their day!

3. Tollbooth attendants. 

We don’t think much about those people on the tollways who sit in their booths taking money from cars, one after another. The next time you stop at a tollbooth, be overly friendly to them! I know you have a very short amount of time to say anything, but in that little time, even just a big smile can make them feel more appreciated in life.

4. Plumbers. 

I’m sure most of us do appreciate plumbers when we have extreme issues going on in our plumbing systems, but I feel like they deserve even more credit. It’s a rough job, and a lot of times a gross job, and we wouldn’t really be able to function without them. I give them a LOT of credit for what they do because I know that I could never do their job. Plumbers are awesome and we must appreciate them more!

5. Busboys. 

I feel like busboys always get ignored. You know when a busboy is cleaning your table before and after your meal? A lot of people kind of just continue their conversations amongst themselves instead of acknowledging the busboy, which I think is pretty rude. Make conversation with them; I’m willing to bet that it will make them feel a million times more appreciated. Also be sure to ALWAYS say thank you after they’re done cleaning because their job can’t always be easy either.

6. Movie theater ushers. 

I used to be a movie theater usher and I can tell you that it’s no where near easy. People always leave their trash everywhere in the theaters, and it was somewhat disgusting most of the time. I also always had to rush around from theater to theater during busy times, which doesn’t feel that great! So please appreciate the ushers for cleaning up the theaters before your movie, because otherwise you would be surrounded by garbage and that would just be gross! Also highly consider taking your trash with you to throw out after the movie as a sign of respect to the hardworking ushers.

7. Mall cops. 

Movies like “Mall Cop” make us want to make fun of this profession because they tend to zoom around on their segways and we treat them as a joke a lot of the time. But all in all, their goal is to protect us. Without them, if something terrible happened at the mall, we would be screwed. So please don’t treat them as a joke. In fact, the next time you see a mall cop, you should definitely take the time to at least say hello to them. It will make them feel less ignored and it will definitely brighten their day!

8. TV/Film editors.

 Most of the time when we watch movies or TV shows, we think about the actors, directors, and writers. But a lot of people don’t take the time to think about the editors. From personal experience, I can tell you that editing takes a lot of time, patience, and creativity. Sure, there wouldn’t be a movie or show without the actors, but then again, if there were no editors, it would be an extremely boring thing to watch. Please appreciate the editing skills in the next thing you watch, because again, it took a lot of time and effort for that editor to do his/her job.

9. Mall kiosk workers. 

I know, I know, these are the people we tend to ignore and sometimes they simply annoy us, but I have to give them credit. Why? Because despite being aware that people don’t want to be bothered, they still put themselves out there in order to try to run their business. It must be tough for them because they’re trying to make money and everyone (well, most people) is being rude to them. I’m not trying to guilt-trip you into stopping at every mall kiosk, but I am saying that if you’re not interested in what they’re selling, you should be nicer about it. Instead of just giving them a look and walking away, say something like, “No thank you, I’m not interested.” If you’re nicer about it, they won’t feel like they were just slapped in the face.

10. Librarians. 

Now we may not appreciate librarians that much because we think their job is easy and they work in a low-stress environment. While they might be lucky doing what they love, they are still doing a job that serves people. They make sure that the public is happy and they help out when needed. Who else can help you find that book that you need to do important research with? Don’t underestimate the amount of work that they do to help you; they are great people!

Quote Of The Day:

30 Ways To Change Your Life in 2015

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This is the last month of 2014, which means a new year is coming soon. While some people create lists of resolutions that they never even end up looking at ever again, I decided to reflect upon the different ways that anyone can change their life for the better in 2015. While this isn’t necessarily a list of specific resolutions, this is instead a list of actions that you can take and apply to your own life. So make it a goal to achieve some of these things (or maybe all of them!) in the upcoming year, and see how much your life shifts towards positivity.

1. Leave the past behind you. If you’re constantly living in the past, how are you ever going to reach the future? It’s okay to reference the past once in awhile, but never ever let it hold you back. Keep looking forward.

2. Turn all negative thoughts into positive ones. “I can’t do this” is never an option. Once you start thinking positively, you will soon start to feel like a more positive person. In turn, you will find yourself accomplishing more than you could have ever imagined.

3. Think outside the box. Stop being stuck in your old ways of thinking. Think about things from a different perspective and your life will become a lot more interesting.

4. Do something that scares you. If you never face your fears, how will you ever grow? Start off with something small, like maybe talking to that boy or girl that you like. Eventually you can face a bigger fear, like going bungee jumping, or something totally insane and out there.

5. Don’t put up with people who don’t treat you well. If you’re in a relationship with someone who isn’t treating you with the respect you deserve, either leave them, or talk to them about it. If they aren’t going to change their ways, you need to get yourself out of this situation because you’re better than that.

6. Treat others with kindness. We all know the saying, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. We all need to live by this saying because the world would be such a better place. Be nice to everyone, even to those people who might not be your best friends. It’s better to greet an enemy with a friendly, “Hello”, than to throw a bunch of hateful comments at them.

7. Do good deeds. Volunteer your time to someone in need. Whether it be a charity, or a family member, it’s important to help those who are less fortunate, or who are struggling with something. Not only will you feel good doing it, but you’ll make the other person feel amazing as well.

8. Believe in yourself. Stop telling yourself that you’ll never amount to anything. Stop telling yourself that you’re not good enough. You are the first person who needs to believe in you, so you better get on it. You will have a bright future if you do so.

9. Stand up for what you believe in. Stop letting others lead you in directions in which you don’t want to go. You don’t have to agree with everyone just to be on their good side. Don’t be afraid to go on your own path with your own thoughts. You have your own mind, use it the way you want to use it!

10. Actually work towards your goals. Don’t make a list of goals and cringe each time you look at them. You can achieve any goal as long as you keep working hard. Don’t try to take the easy route. Work harder than you ever have in your entire life and you’ll be surprised by how far you will go.

11. Dream big. The difference between incredibly big dreams and realistic dreams is that if you go with the latter, you’ll be playing it safe. No dream is outside of your reach as long as you believe in it.

12. Be grateful for the people who have stayed in your life. When all is lost in life, take time to think about everyone who has stuck by you through everything. Those people are your true friends/family, and they care about you a whole lot. Be grateful for them, because you’re incredibly lucky to have them.

13. Never doubt your abilities. Stop comparing yourself to others, and realize that you are actually amazing at what you do. You’re the only you that exists in this world, so with that in mind, do what you do best. You are talented in your own way.

14. Stop procrastinating. Whether it be work for school or your job, or starting a fitness goal, you need to stop saying “oh, I’ll do it later”. DO IT NOW. If you wait until later, you’re just wasting more time. You’ll feel a lot more proud of yourself if you start everything right now, instead of holding off.

15. Fix broken friendships. Are you and your best friend falling apart? Instead of letting it happen, try to communicate with each other about what has gone wrong. If you are meant to be in each other’s lives forever, you will find a way to work things out. Don’t let yourself lose the people who are most important to you.

16. Fall in love with the world. With all the terrible things that occur in this world, some may find it nearly impossible to have positive thoughts about the world. But if you find at least one thing you love about this world, or even just your country, it will make living life that much better.

17. Let things happen on their own. Stop trying to control every little thing. You cannot always make things happen or prevent things from happening, sometimes they just have to happen on their own. Almost everything happens for a reason, which is why you need to just let things be.

18. Appreciate your family more. Even if you’re not very close with your family, you should be incredibly grateful that they are in your life. You’re connected to them in a way that is different from everyone else, which is a special bond that no one can take away. They will always be there for you no matter what.

19. Don’t stress out too much. If you spend all your time stressing out about every tiny thing, then you’re missing out on life big time. Relax. You are capable of anything and everything. If you take some deep breaths, and try to calm down, you will actually have better success. So try not to freak out.

20. Acknowledge your strengths. How often do you sit down and think about everything you’re good at? Probably not very often. This is important to do because it will ultimately give you a lot more motivation. Everyone is good at something, so it’s important to take the time to realize your abilities.

21. Also acknowledge your weaknesses. It’s also important to think about things that you need to work on. It’s okay to have weaknesses; that’s what makes us human. But it’s always possible to work on turning those weaknesses into strengths. You can always become a better version of yourself.

22. Smile more. A lot more. Smile the moment you wake up in the morning because you have so much to smile about. Even if you’re going through a rough time, you can find a positive in the sea of negatives. Smiling is important because this simple gesture makes you feel better mentally, emotionally, and physically, and it’s very contagious in public. 🙂

23. Go on adventures. Stop sitting in your living room watching movies with your friends or going to the same mall every weekend. Go on a road trip, go to a different town, or even just go  to a different mall. If you change things up, life will be a lot more exciting and fulfilling.

24. Sing in the shower. This may seem like a goofy one, but trust me, it’s crucial to sing in the shower. It’s been proven that singing in the shower releases stress! Plus, everyone is a superstar in the shower, so go ahead and give yourself your own personal concert. You sound amazing!

25. Get more sleep. Going to bed at a reasonable hour might not sound fun, but it’s important in order to be healthy. If you get a good amount of sleep every night, you’ll feel a whole lot better, and you might not even need to chug all that coffee in the morning.

26. Eat healthier and exercise. I know that most times, chocolate sounds a lot better than carrots, but you have to take care of yourself. It’s okay, to indulge every once in awhile (hey, you can’t deprive yourself!), but remember that every healthy choice you make leads you to feeling better overall. You also don’t need to have a gym membership in order to exercise, so don’t make that an excuse. Exercise in your room, or the park, or wherever you feel comfortable, and again, you’ll feel a whole lot better.

27. Stop being lazy. This one sort of goes along with exercise. Long story short, stop being a couch potato. While it’s important to let yourself rest sometimes, try not to make it a habit. Go out and do something instead of laying in bed and watching TV all day.

28. Don’t give your time to someone who doesn’t deserve it. Stop wasting your time trying to make someone see the good in you. If they don’t already see it, then they’re either blind, or lying to themselves. Only associate yourself with the people who want to be in your life because you are you. Authentic people are the best kind of people.

29. Meet new people. Meet at least one new person every week (or everyday if you’re feeling ambitious!). This new person doesn’t have to become your best friend, or even a friend at all, but it’s always a good idea to communicate with others, especially people whom you may have never thought about talking to. By being a friendly person, you’ll make yourself and others feel better about the world.

30. Do what you love to do. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Even if your talent is something that typically doesn’t give you great money, still do it. It’s better to be poor and doing something you love, than to be rich by doing something you hate. (Yes, I know, we need money to survive, but hey, you can have a side job that makes the money, while you continue to do what you love). You’ll be a happier person if you happily do every single thing that you want to do.

Quote Of The Day:

Is The Glass Half-Full or Half-Empty?

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When asked the question “Is the glass half full or half empty?”, many would agree that optimists say the glass is half full. I like to say that the glass is always full. When dealing with technicalities,   the glass is half filled with water, and half filled with air; there is no room for “nothingness” in the glass.

Metaphorically relating this to life, I interpret this as “life is always filled with positivity”. I believe that there is always something positive that a person can find in their life, but they have to make the choice to find it. It’s important to seek out these positives because otherwise you’ll live your whole life going down the rollercoaster, rather than going up.

When going through a rough time in life, most people just want to give up because they’ve lost all hope. But what they don’t realize is that there is always hope as long as you believe there is. There’s never a valid excuse for someone to give up when life suddenly becomes a little darker. Put some damn batteries in your flashlight and find your way out!

Happiness is something that we all want most in life, yet some people don’t even try to achieve it. I feel as if those people are just afraid to fall down even more along the way, so they don’t bother to change their life. But it’s important to do things that you’re afraid of because otherwise you will never amount to anything. So just wake up and say, “I’m going to push all my fears behind me and begin my journey to happiness!”

Positivity and happiness are not overrated. They are two things that people need in order to live a healthy life. So if you want to be healthy and happy, absolutely nothing is stopping you except for yourself! You have to make the first move and you have to make the decision to be positive.

Quotes Of The Day:

A Rambling of Positive Thinking

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Since it’s been awhile since I’ve posted on here, I decided that I’m just going to ramble on about being positive in life and basically just let my fingers explain what’s going on in my crazy mind.

I’ll start off by saying that life throws curveballs at us all the time. Certain things happen in life that are unexpected and maybe disappointing at times, but the unexpected is the best thing that can happen to us. Honestly, if we knew in advance every little thing that was going to happen in life, how would we grow? How would we learn? The answer is, we wouldn’t. If we knew these things in advance, the only thing we would learn is how to prepare for disaster.

But life isn’t about preparation. Life is about taking each bullet and becoming a stronger person in the end.  It may be hard to realize it when it’s happening, but if you’re going through a difficult situation, it’s actually more helpful than toxic. How, you ask? Well, every single time a person has to go through something, he or she has to find a way out of it. The whole process of getting out is essentially a process of growth. We all know that amazing feeling that we get when we accomplish something huge; you feel as if you could conquer the world. Well this is the same thing. Once you dig yourself out of that hole that you got into, you can take a deep breath of fresh air and say, “I made it”. So ultimately, the end result of a bad situation is what you should always be thinking about.

There’s no official “how to” guide for getting out of a tough situation/time in life, but there are some things that you can do in order to slowly but surely get on the right track. The first thing you have to do, is tell yourself that it’s not the end of the world. Whether it be a small situation, or a much bigger problem, nothing is worth losing hope over. NOTHING. If you tell yourself to be positive right from the beginning, it makes the healing process go a lot smoother. The next thing you have to do, is sit down and create a list of things you can do to fix your situation. Now, I understand that everyone is different and everyone is going through different things, but I feel like everyone can still make some sort of personalized list. For example, if you’re going through a breakup, think of ways you can distract yourself, think of ways you can move on, and think of what things you can do that make you happy. No matter what it is, always make sure that it’s something positive and healthy for you. Don’t be afraid to only think about yourself (unless the situation involves another person’s well-being). After this list-making process, it’s time to get to action. Do these things on your list right away, don’t sit around and wallow and procrastinate. That will do you no good! It’s okay to be sad sometimes, but don’t let it take over. You will only heal if you get up and do something about it!

So when you find yourself losing all hope, just stop and think about how beneficial this situation is for you. It may sound weird to do that, but trust me, you’ll be happy you did it. I don’t even know if my disorganized thoughts even made sense in this post, but I really hope whoever is reading this gained something from it. If all else fails, just smile and know that you can get through anything and everything. We may not be superheroes, but us humans can have the strongest powers in the universe; we can survive anything.

I’ll leave you with the quote of the day (randomly decided that I’ll do this from now on):

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