How To Be Positive Without Feeling Fake

Standard

The “fake it ’til you make it” technique when it comes to positivity is total BS. Plastering on a smile when your lips want to naturally curve downward. Posting an overly uplifting quote on Facebook when you don’t fully believe it. Telling yourself that everything is great, when in reality, everything is falling apart.

All of these things are only temporary solutions to long-term issues. You’re not going to become a genuinely happy and upbeat person if you do these things. You’re going to feel like a fraud.

However, this doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to become positive. There are many things you can do to transform yourself and your thoughts without feeling fake. Here are some ideas to get you started:

  1. Create realistic goals. Have a list of both short-term and long-term goals that you know are achievable. Make sure your goals are things that will help you grow as a person. Personalize your goals as much as possible to assure that you’re not copying general goals that people have. Having things to work towards will help you build up your mental strength and it will change your whole perspective on life. Additionally, once you reach a goal, the feeling of euphoria is a feeling that no fake smile can obtain.
  2. Have full awareness of your problems. Many people believe that ignoring a problem will make it go away, or it will make it seem like the problem just isn’t there. Ignorance is not bliss at all. If you are constantly lying to yourself and claiming that nothing is wrong, you’re doing yourself more harm than good. Sit down and take a moment to identify anything on your mind that is bothering you. You can either write everything down on paper or just sit there and think. Sorting out everything that is wrong will help you to add to your list of goals and it will help you figure out productive solutions.
  3. Remove negative people from your life. If a friend is having a negative impact on you because of his/her attitude, you should reconsider having that person in your life. It’s pointless to have a person in your life who just provides drama and stress, rather than comfort and happiness. It can be difficult to cut a friend out of your life, but in this case, you need to put yourself first. You need to truly think about the negativity this person is bringing to your life and how much it’s affecting you. In the end, it’s not worth it to stay friends with someone for his/her sake. Only keep those in your life who lift you up.
  4. Engage in “feel good” activities. You have to figure out exactly what activities make you feel happy. Exercising can naturally make everyone feel happier because of those awesome endorphins. Engaging in your favorite hobby is important because doing what you love will give instant gratification. It’s also fun to explore new hobbies and activities in order to maintain personal growth. Search the Internet for a new, unique hobby that looks interesting to you. You can even find something new to do with a significant other or a friend. It can feel great to be doing things you want to do outside of things that you have to do. Live your life the way you want to and you’ll be a lot happier.
  5. Accept failure. It’s easy to feel down after something doesn’t go the way you wanted it to. While it’s perfectly OK to let yourself feel sad about it, don’t let that feeling last forever. You have to realize that no one is perfect, and that things will not always work out. Sometimes you’re going to fail at a goal, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Obviously we all crave success over failure; however, if we never accept failure, we will never accept ourselves. The good thing about failure is that it will force you to work harder. It will make you want to change the way you do things because you don’t want to see failure again. Once you are able to accept failure, you’ll be able to have more faith in yourself to keep persevering.
  6. Allow yourself to feel every emotion freely. If you’re only forcing yourself to feel happy, all of your other emotions are going to be trapped inside you. If you never let those other emotions out, you’re going to feel even worse. It’s OK to feel negative emotions. If human beings were only capable of feeling happiness, we’d be really boring and stagnant creatures. Just imagine you’re watching a movie and the characters were always smiling and nothing ever seemed wrong. Do you know how lame that would be? Allow yourself to fully embrace every emotion that you feel, even if you aren’t used to it. If you are able to adapt to expressing all of your emotions, it’ll help you become a stronger person in the end.
pablo-q2a-1
Source: http://happyproject.in/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/pablo-q2a-1.jpg
Advertisements

The TwentySomething Chronicles: Finding Yourself

Standard

Many people have the notion that you have to find yourself by the time you reach your twenties. This isn’t a realistic approach to life. You can spend your childhood thinking about your dream career, and you can spend your teen years gaining experience for the future, but that doesn’t mean that you’ll be able to figure everything out by your twentieth birthday.

Your twenties is actually the best period of time in your life to find out who you really are and who you want to be. Whether you’re a college student, college graduate, or are going in a different route, you’re at a very important age in life. You’re on the verge of adulthood and anything is possible.

There aren’t set rules or steps to take in order to find yourself, but here are some basic guidelines:

1. Find out what is important to you.

If you care about a certain topic or organization, go ahead and do something about it. Find volunteer opportunities or research various ways to help a cause that is close to your heart. If you’re doing something worthwhile, you’ll find your calling in the midst of everything. It’s just a matter of putting yourself out there and figuring out your interests.

2. Use your hobbies to your advantage.

Delve deeper into your favorite hobby or take a new one for a spin. Hell, take on multiple hobbies at once. Actively involving yourself in your passions will spark a huge flame in your life. You will feel more satisfied with life if you are constantly doing things you love to do. Additionally, you might even find a new path you want to go down.

3. Cherish meaningful relationships.

You’re at an age where you’re finally finding true friendships and relationships. This is very crucial to your soul searching. If you have people in your life who truly care about you, this support system will back you up whenever you find yourself falling. These are peers who are working on finding themselves as well, so you won’t feel alone in the matter.

4. Don’t feel rushed. 

You don’t need to follow the standard “rules” of life. You don’t need to find your ultimate career in your twenties and get married before your thirties. Make your own rules and set your own standards. You have to understand that it’s perfectly okay if you’re not doing exactly what you want to do yet. You’re younger than you think you are.

5. Be open-minded.

Always be up to try new things in life, whether they work out or not. You learned at an early age that if you don’t try something, you’ll never know if you like it. This lesson will always be true, no matter what your age is. If you go for anything and everything, you’ll not only gain experiences, but you also might find something new that you like.

 

Another thing you should realize is that a part of finding yourself is creating yourself. You create yourself through both your positive and negative experiences, through your successes and your mistakes, and through your happiest times and your darkest times.

When you’re in your twenties, you can’t let personal or societal pressures get to you. You have to use the power of your own mind and your own heart in order to be you.

The process of finding yourself can be quite terrifying. But, as the cliché people say: it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. Let’s face it, your twenties would be boring as hell if you already had everything you want in life. So enjoy the ride and endure the crashes along the way; it’ll be worth it eventually.

Quote Of The Day:

 

 

How To Be Yourself (It’s Simple)

Standard

Why are we so afraid of being authentic? Is it because we fear judgment from others? Is it because we don’t think we’re good enough?

You need to stop caring what others think of you. First impressions are made out to be overly important, when, in reality, you should never have to try so hard to impress someone. Being 100% yourself is impressing as it is. In such a harsh society, a person who is unabashedly herself should be viewed as a role model for everyone else out there.

You need to stop overthinking before speaking. Be mindful of what you say, but don’t rack through too many negative side effect of sharing your thoughts. You shouldn’t hold back from stating your unique opinions because you deserve a voice in this world. If you went your whole life without speaking up because you were too worried, you would be left with many regrets and your brain would reach its full capacity of trapped thoughts. You wouldn’t want to be trapped in a small room all alone, so why would you allow your thoughts to be locked away without coming out for air?

You need to stop questioning why you are so weird, and instead, embrace your quirks. It might be hard to believe, but everyone out there has at least one wacky quality that stands out from the norms of society. If you realized how crucial this quality is to yourself and to life in general, then you would go run outside and let your freak flag fly without any second thoughts. If there is someone who doesn’t appreciate your weirdness, that just means that they are having a difficult time appreciating their own differences.

You need to stop being so self-conscious about your physical appearance. Contrary to popular belief, beauty and attractiveness don’t come with a specific set of guidelines. Fashion doesn’t have its boundaries; you should express who you are through your own personal fashion choices. Hair and makeup are forms of personal art that are created for your own interpretations. You shouldn’t be worried about how others will perceive you through your appearance, but instead, you should own how you look. Put yourself together based on your own expectations and walk out that door knowing exactly who YOU are.

It doesn’t make sense that being authentic has become a crime in society, but sometimes you just have to push society’s “rules” aside and make your own. This is the story of your life, and you don’t want to write in any false information or embellishments. It’s a straight-forward nonfiction story about you, and it deserves to be a bestseller.

Quote Of The Day:

Looking Perfect Is Unattainable

Standard

As I squeezed into my skinny jeans, I started to wonder if Taylor Swift ever has to squeeze into her jeans. Not only did I conclude that she pretty much never wears jeans, but I also realized that even if she is able to put on jeans with ease, why should it matter to me? Other people’s jean struggles or lack of struggles, along with other’s “perfect” or “imperfect” bodies, shouldn’t matter to me or to you.

The message being spread to women is that everyone comes in different shapes and sizes. While this message is positive and encouraging, it doesn’t always counteract the messages that society and media are really sending us. The majority of famous women are shown in a “flattering” light, meaning, Photoshop works its sickening magic to virtually delete all visible flaws. This also means that all women who view these images are given an unrealistic idea of what you have to look like in order to be thought of as attractive. In reality, not one single person looks like the women on magazine covers. Striving to be as skinny and flawless as them is a waste of time because you will ultimately be left with disappointment.

Instead of wanting to look like someone else, why not embrace the way you naturally are? As long as you’re healthy, there’s nothing wrong with being a size that society calls “ugly”. Society doesn’t know anything when it comes to true beauty. Skinny shaming and fat shaming are the worst, because it makes it seem like there’s not a size that anyone is ok with. Instead of worrying about what others think of your size, or worrying about another person’s size, you should find ways to be happy with the way you are.

Your size can never define you as a person. Your physical body doesn’t reflect your personality, so if anyone is shallow enough to dislike you because of how you look, then they don’t deserve to get to know who you are. Your waistline doesn’t tell anyone how generous you are, the size of your pants doesn’t reveal how smart you are, and the overall shape of your body doesn’t determine your capabilities in life. You shouldn’t be down on yourself just because you don’t look stereotypically “perfect”.

The next time you look in the mirror because you’re not satisfied with the way your body looks, stop for a moment and just smile at yourself. Think about all your incredible traits and all the things that make you a unique person. If you’re able to see your smile in the mirror and feel good about it, that means you’re already on your way to accepting yourself. You have to remember that size is just a minor aspect of yourself, and that it should never take over. Size doesn’t matter, you matter.

Quote Of The Day:

Say No To Normality: A Poem

Standard

Deviation

Why stay in a solid confining bottle,

When there’s more breathing room on the outside?

Why try to blend into the colors of the world,

When you can brand your own shade of charisma?

Why keep your precious thoughts out of the light,

When you can unleash a storm of empowering insight?

Why not contrast against the rest,

When conformity brings you to your knees?

Why not be a creative innovation,

When everyone else is a replication?

Why not just be you,

When there is no one else to be?

Quote Of The Day:

10 Things You Learn In College Outside The Classroom

Standard

College is first seen as a time of studying hard and working towards a career. While this is accurate, the overall college experience gives people the opportunity to learn more than just what they read in textbooks. College students learn all these extra little things without even realizing it. Here are some of the things that they learn:

1. How to find true friends. This lesson usually doesn’t come right off the bat because when you’re starting out as a freshman, everyone is new and everyone wants to hang out. But over the years, you come to find who is truly your friend and who is not. College allows you to differentiate between a true friend and a fake friend, which is something that develops with time.

2. How to have a stable relationship. College relationships are way more serious than they are in high school. If you go through some crappy relationships during college, you are able to learn what you can do differently in future relationships in order to make them more stable. If you have secured yourself in a serious relationship in college, you learn how to maintain it, and throughout the relationship, you learn how to make it better. College is a time for maturing, and understanding how to resolve conflict with others.

3. How to have fun. Even though you have to be serious when it comes to classwork, college is a time for going out and doing fun things. You learn that it’s perfectly okay to give yourself a break once in awhile, because having fun is a crucial part of life.

4. How to take care of yourself. This refers to many different aspects of taking care of yourself, from learning how to essentially live on your own, to eating well and exercising. Usually freshman year, you don’t care much about eating healthy and getting enough sleep, but over the years you realize how important these things are.

5. How to be responsible. Responsibility is a huge part of college because not only are you responsible for getting your homework done in time, but you also have outside responsibilities that come along with your independence. As more responsibilities get thrown on you throughout the years, you learn how to be a more organized individual.

6. How to work with others. You’ve been taught at a young age how to work with others, but it really sinks in during college. This is mainly because you get stuck doing group projects and working with people who you might not get along with. Being put in situations like these allow you to become more mature, and learn how to work with people who are different from you.

7. How to try new things. College is a time where new opportunities fly at you from every angle. Being in a new place on your own allows you to branch out a bit more than you’re used to. This is a good thing because it opens you up to new interests and new things that you might have never even tried before.

8. How to ask for help. During your college years, you come to realize that it’s perfectly okay to ask for help when you’re lost or confused. This can range from getting help on schoolwork to getting help with personal problems. This is something you learn because you’re maturing and realizing that getting help isn’t a bad thing, it’s only another thing that contributes to your growth.

9. How to be involved. Colleges have so many different organizations that you’re bound to have found at least one that you belong to. This involvement gives you some experiences that you might not have had without college. It also helps you meet new people who are interested in similar things to you, and sometimes these people can become your life-long friends.

10. How to find yourself. Essentially, college is the time in your life where you find out what you want to do in your future. With that, comes finding yourself. During college, you’ll sometimes lose yourself during your journey, and you might not have even completely found yourself by the time you graduate. But this doesn’t mean that you will never find yourself. You can take everything you’ve learned in college and apply it to your life, while continuing on your journey after graduation.

Quote Of The Day:

How To Be A Less Cynical And More Positive Single Person On Valentine’s Day

Standard

It’s that time of the year again when people are shelling out money for flowers, chocolates, cheesy greeting cards, expensive gifts, and fancy dinners. It’s also that time of year when the majority of single people in the world get cranky, annoyed, upset, and/or angry. This set of emotions tends to happen because they either wish they had someone to share Valentine’s Day with, they’re jealous of the couples who are celebrating, they hate the whole idea of Valentine’s Day, or a combination of two or more of these things.

What makes single people act so cynical toward Valentine’s Day? Sure, many would say that it’s a manufactured holiday that just gives Hallmark and other companies a jump up in revenue, but it’s also a day that is special to some people. There are many different things you can do to be a happier single person on Valentine’s Day.

If you are one of those people who are so focused on Valentine’s Day and you wish you had someone to spend the holiday with, there are plenty of things you can do to distract yourself. You can spend that time hanging out with your other single friends, and do something fun and exciting. If you are in a situation where you’ll be alone on Valentine’s Day, don’t be afraid! You can be your own Valentine! As lame as this sounds, it’s actually nice to treat yourself to anything you want. Go out and buy yourself chocolates and nice wine. Put in some comedic DVDs (not romantic ones that will make you cry!) and laugh as loud as you want. Spending Valentine’s Day without a special someone does not have to be as pathetic as you make it out to be. Treat yoself!

If you’re someone who easily gets jealous of all the posts on Facebook that people share about what their significant other got them/did for them on Valentine’s Day, I have one simple solution: STOP LOOKING. Force yourself to stay off all social media for that whole day, and distract yourself with better things. If you don’t want to see all the lovey-dovey couples out on Valentine’s Day, then go buy yourself something nice and have a fun night in to yourself, or with friends. Stop inserting yourself into situations that will make you feel worse about being single!

If you’re the ultimate Valentine’s Day cynic who despises this holiday and trashes it along with whoever celebrates it, you need to stop. Just because you think the holiday is stupid, doesn’t mean that people who celebrate it are stupid. Some people look forward to celebrating Valentine’s Day, and you shouldn’t let that bother you and your opinions. Let people do what they want, because everyone has different views on this day. Don’t put anyone down for the way they celebrate. You do you, they’ll do them, and that’s how it’s supposed to be!

All in all, you have to understand that it’s perfectly okay to be single. Whether you treat Valentine’s Day as just another day, or if you acknowledge it as a holiday, you’re the same person on February 14th as you are on any other day. Valentine’s Day isn’t meant for kicking single people to the curb while the happy couples rejoice. It’s a day where you should appreciate everyone in your life, regardless of your relationship status. You’ll feel a whole lot better if you don’t let Valentine’s Day affect you in a negative way.

Quote Of The Day: