Why You Shouldn’t Hate Your Ex’s Significant Other

Standard

After a breakup, it can be tough moving on, and it’s even more tough trying to deal with the idea of your ex being with someone else. Once your ex starts dating someone else, your immediate reactions are:

1. “What?! How did he/she move on so soon?!”

2. “Omg their new gf/bf is so ugly!”

3. “HAHAHA he/she totally downgraded from me!”

4. “Lol, she/he has to put up with him/her now, sucks to be them.”

You see a trend here? Putting down your ex’s new flame might make you feel better in the moment, but in reality, you probably shouldn’t be doing that. In most cases, the new flame didn’t do anything to personally hurt you. Heck, chances are they might not even know you. Even though you aren’t saying these things to their face, the idea of it all is still morally repulsive. Putting someone else down just to boost your own self esteem will only result in self destruction.

Your ex is the one who chose to date someone else, so ultimately, you were hurt by them, and not by their significant other. I’m not saying you should hate your ex (because you shouldn’t hate anyone really), but I’m saying that it’s not worth it to sit there picking out the physical flaws of the new person they’re dating because it’s a waste of time. You should instead be finding ways to move on and better yourself.

It’s always tempting to creep on your ex’s Facebook (if they haven’t blocked you) or creep on his/her gf/bf, but you could be using that time more productively. You’ll just keep feeling resentment and sadness if you keep looking on their pages, so what is the actual point of looking? Do you really want to keep reminding yourself of the situation? NO! So here are some steps you can take:

1. Block your ex and his/her significant other from EVERY social media site. If they haven’t already blocked you, block them from everything ASAP so you won’t be tempted to look at anything they’re doing. Also block their number while you’re at it, because why not.

2. Stop thinking about your ex. This is easier said than done, but it is possible. You just have to immerse yourself in activities that you enjoy, such as spending time with friends, in order to keep your mind busy.

3. Understand that you will also find someone new someday, on your own time. You’ll find someone new when you’re ready, and when the time is right. Don’t worry so much about competing with your ex by trying to upgrade to a better person. Take it slow, and wait until you find someone who treats you right and who you are content with.

4. Learn how to be happy on your own before dating again. You should never live life counting on someone else to complete your happiness. Only YOU can make YOU happy, and you need to remember that.

Also just remember this: people move on, because that’s the way life is, and that should be taken as a lesson instead of a hardship.

Quote Of The Day:

Advertisements

30 Reasons Why Being Single In Your 20’s Is A Great Privilege

Standard

Being single is vastly underrated because of the way society emphasizes the glory of relationships and love. But being single can have incredible advantages that you may be overlooking. So listen up all my single ladies (and guys!):

1. You have more time to hang out with your friends.

2. You have more time to yourself.

3. You can flirt with anyone you want.

4. You can try new things because you have all the time in the world.

5. You can travel without worrying about bringing that special person along with you.

6. You can focus on bettering and improving yourself to your own standards.

7. You can save money and not worry about buying anniversary gifts/birthday gifts/holiday gifts.

8. You can be lazy whenever you want to be.

9. You have way less drama in your life.

10. You can plan your future the way that you want it to be.

11. You’re not required to be attached to your phone.

12. You can freely be friends with anyone of the opposite sex.

13. You don’t have to suffer through movies that you don’t want to watch.

14. You can make your own plans of your own choice on your own time.

15. You aren’t tied down to a scary commitment.

16. You don’t have to worry about heartbreak because you own your heart, no one else does.

17. You have time to reflect on your past relationships and realize why they didn’t work out.

18. You don’t have to have the stress of meeting and impressing family members.

19. You are free to go out and party whenever you feel like it.

20. You don’t have to wait on anyone.

21. You get to control the remote and watch whatever you want!

22. You can buy yourself gifts, which is great, because you know exactly what you want!

23. You can listen to the music you like without being judged for it.

24. You don’t have to be questioned about where you’re going, when you’re going somewhere, who you’re going with, and when you’ll be back.

25. You have more time to focus on school and/or work.

26. You don’t have to hang out with someone else’s friends whom you don’t get along with.

27. You have a lot more privacy when it comes to basically everything.

28. You can be as spontaneous as you want without anyone there to stop you.

29. You can do activities/hobbies that you enjoy without being bothered.

30. You don’t have to share food.

Quote Of The Day:

30 Ways To Change Your Life in 2015

Standard

This is the last month of 2014, which means a new year is coming soon. While some people create lists of resolutions that they never even end up looking at ever again, I decided to reflect upon the different ways that anyone can change their life for the better in 2015. While this isn’t necessarily a list of specific resolutions, this is instead a list of actions that you can take and apply to your own life. So make it a goal to achieve some of these things (or maybe all of them!) in the upcoming year, and see how much your life shifts towards positivity.

1. Leave the past behind you. If you’re constantly living in the past, how are you ever going to reach the future? It’s okay to reference the past once in awhile, but never ever let it hold you back. Keep looking forward.

2. Turn all negative thoughts into positive ones. “I can’t do this” is never an option. Once you start thinking positively, you will soon start to feel like a more positive person. In turn, you will find yourself accomplishing more than you could have ever imagined.

3. Think outside the box. Stop being stuck in your old ways of thinking. Think about things from a different perspective and your life will become a lot more interesting.

4. Do something that scares you. If you never face your fears, how will you ever grow? Start off with something small, like maybe talking to that boy or girl that you like. Eventually you can face a bigger fear, like going bungee jumping, or something totally insane and out there.

5. Don’t put up with people who don’t treat you well. If you’re in a relationship with someone who isn’t treating you with the respect you deserve, either leave them, or talk to them about it. If they aren’t going to change their ways, you need to get yourself out of this situation because you’re better than that.

6. Treat others with kindness. We all know the saying, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. We all need to live by this saying because the world would be such a better place. Be nice to everyone, even to those people who might not be your best friends. It’s better to greet an enemy with a friendly, “Hello”, than to throw a bunch of hateful comments at them.

7. Do good deeds. Volunteer your time to someone in need. Whether it be a charity, or a family member, it’s important to help those who are less fortunate, or who are struggling with something. Not only will you feel good doing it, but you’ll make the other person feel amazing as well.

8. Believe in yourself. Stop telling yourself that you’ll never amount to anything. Stop telling yourself that you’re not good enough. You are the first person who needs to believe in you, so you better get on it. You will have a bright future if you do so.

9. Stand up for what you believe in. Stop letting others lead you in directions in which you don’t want to go. You don’t have to agree with everyone just to be on their good side. Don’t be afraid to go on your own path with your own thoughts. You have your own mind, use it the way you want to use it!

10. Actually work towards your goals. Don’t make a list of goals and cringe each time you look at them. You can achieve any goal as long as you keep working hard. Don’t try to take the easy route. Work harder than you ever have in your entire life and you’ll be surprised by how far you will go.

11. Dream big. The difference between incredibly big dreams and realistic dreams is that if you go with the latter, you’ll be playing it safe. No dream is outside of your reach as long as you believe in it.

12. Be grateful for the people who have stayed in your life. When all is lost in life, take time to think about everyone who has stuck by you through everything. Those people are your true friends/family, and they care about you a whole lot. Be grateful for them, because you’re incredibly lucky to have them.

13. Never doubt your abilities. Stop comparing yourself to others, and realize that you are actually amazing at what you do. You’re the only you that exists in this world, so with that in mind, do what you do best. You are talented in your own way.

14. Stop procrastinating. Whether it be work for school or your job, or starting a fitness goal, you need to stop saying “oh, I’ll do it later”. DO IT NOW. If you wait until later, you’re just wasting more time. You’ll feel a lot more proud of yourself if you start everything right now, instead of holding off.

15. Fix broken friendships. Are you and your best friend falling apart? Instead of letting it happen, try to communicate with each other about what has gone wrong. If you are meant to be in each other’s lives forever, you will find a way to work things out. Don’t let yourself lose the people who are most important to you.

16. Fall in love with the world. With all the terrible things that occur in this world, some may find it nearly impossible to have positive thoughts about the world. But if you find at least one thing you love about this world, or even just your country, it will make living life that much better.

17. Let things happen on their own. Stop trying to control every little thing. You cannot always make things happen or prevent things from happening, sometimes they just have to happen on their own. Almost everything happens for a reason, which is why you need to just let things be.

18. Appreciate your family more. Even if you’re not very close with your family, you should be incredibly grateful that they are in your life. You’re connected to them in a way that is different from everyone else, which is a special bond that no one can take away. They will always be there for you no matter what.

19. Don’t stress out too much. If you spend all your time stressing out about every tiny thing, then you’re missing out on life big time. Relax. You are capable of anything and everything. If you take some deep breaths, and try to calm down, you will actually have better success. So try not to freak out.

20. Acknowledge your strengths. How often do you sit down and think about everything you’re good at? Probably not very often. This is important to do because it will ultimately give you a lot more motivation. Everyone is good at something, so it’s important to take the time to realize your abilities.

21. Also acknowledge your weaknesses. It’s also important to think about things that you need to work on. It’s okay to have weaknesses; that’s what makes us human. But it’s always possible to work on turning those weaknesses into strengths. You can always become a better version of yourself.

22. Smile more. A lot more. Smile the moment you wake up in the morning because you have so much to smile about. Even if you’re going through a rough time, you can find a positive in the sea of negatives. Smiling is important because this simple gesture makes you feel better mentally, emotionally, and physically, and it’s very contagious in public. 🙂

23. Go on adventures. Stop sitting in your living room watching movies with your friends or going to the same mall every weekend. Go on a road trip, go to a different town, or even just go  to a different mall. If you change things up, life will be a lot more exciting and fulfilling.

24. Sing in the shower. This may seem like a goofy one, but trust me, it’s crucial to sing in the shower. It’s been proven that singing in the shower releases stress! Plus, everyone is a superstar in the shower, so go ahead and give yourself your own personal concert. You sound amazing!

25. Get more sleep. Going to bed at a reasonable hour might not sound fun, but it’s important in order to be healthy. If you get a good amount of sleep every night, you’ll feel a whole lot better, and you might not even need to chug all that coffee in the morning.

26. Eat healthier and exercise. I know that most times, chocolate sounds a lot better than carrots, but you have to take care of yourself. It’s okay, to indulge every once in awhile (hey, you can’t deprive yourself!), but remember that every healthy choice you make leads you to feeling better overall. You also don’t need to have a gym membership in order to exercise, so don’t make that an excuse. Exercise in your room, or the park, or wherever you feel comfortable, and again, you’ll feel a whole lot better.

27. Stop being lazy. This one sort of goes along with exercise. Long story short, stop being a couch potato. While it’s important to let yourself rest sometimes, try not to make it a habit. Go out and do something instead of laying in bed and watching TV all day.

28. Don’t give your time to someone who doesn’t deserve it. Stop wasting your time trying to make someone see the good in you. If they don’t already see it, then they’re either blind, or lying to themselves. Only associate yourself with the people who want to be in your life because you are you. Authentic people are the best kind of people.

29. Meet new people. Meet at least one new person every week (or everyday if you’re feeling ambitious!). This new person doesn’t have to become your best friend, or even a friend at all, but it’s always a good idea to communicate with others, especially people whom you may have never thought about talking to. By being a friendly person, you’ll make yourself and others feel better about the world.

30. Do what you love to do. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Even if your talent is something that typically doesn’t give you great money, still do it. It’s better to be poor and doing something you love, than to be rich by doing something you hate. (Yes, I know, we need money to survive, but hey, you can have a side job that makes the money, while you continue to do what you love). You’ll be a happier person if you happily do every single thing that you want to do.

Quote Of The Day:

The Importance of Self-Reflection

Standard

As individuals, we have each learned a lot from ourselves and from our own personal experiences. The problem is that we don’t always take the time to think about what we have learned. Each person learns valuable life lessons over a long period of time in their life, and it’s something worth reflecting about.

It’s important to think about everything you’ve gone through in life and see how much you’ve grown. Everyone grows up in their own way and at their own pace, but through this growing process, each person learns from mistakes, and learns from other people. Whenever you make a mistake, you tend to feel terrible about it in the moment, but after awhile, you look back on it and realize that it was a learning experience instead of something to be ashamed about. That is how everyone should view life because otherwise you’ll be sitting there with tons of regrets and you won’t be able to live life to the fullest.

As you get older and more mature, you begin to realize that everything in life happens for a reason. You begin to see what these reasons are and you are able to accept them. You should look back on the past and recognize how much you’ve changed since then. If you don’t take the time to think about it, you won’t get the opportunity to see how much you’ve grown and how much stronger you’ve gotten.

I’m currently a senior in college, so I spend a lot of time thinking about my years in college and how much I’ve changed. When I think about myself from freshman year, I can see a huge different in my maturity level, and the way I handle things that are thrown at me. I’m truly proud of how much I’ve grown since then and I’m proud of the way I’ve gone through my college years. I’ve made mistakes, but instead of feeling poorly about them, I smile, knowing that I won’t make the same mistakes again. I’ve also had people come and go from my life and it’s made me realize that they were never meant to be in my life. It’s interesting to think that during the span of 4 years, you can mature so much.

Self-reflection doesn’t have to take up all of your time. You don’t have to sit down and think about your whole past, but every once in awhile, just take at least five minutes out of your day to think about it. Once you see how far you’ve come, you’ll feel stronger than ever, and you’ll realize that you’re only going to get stronger as time goes on.

Quote Of The Day:

40 Things I’ve Learned So Far In College

Standard

I still have a whole year of college left after this one, but I’ve learned so many things from the years that I’ve been here. And I’m not talking about what I’ve learned in the classroom….this is real life people. Here we go:

1. It’s impossible to keep every single friend that you made freshman year.

2. Having a boyfriend all the time really isn’t that important. Seriously, it’s not.

3. “Chicks before dicks” is the mantra that you should stay with no matter what.

4. Tinder is a bad idea.

5. Staying up late on weeknights loses it’s spark.

6. Eating healthy is worth it.

7. So is going to the gym.

8. Don’t meet your next boyfriend at a frat party. (It doesn’t really turn out too well if you do).

9. Listen to the advice your friends give you even if you disagree. They are only telling you these things to help you.

10. It’s crucial to give yourself time to have fun.

11. Stressing out over a gen-ed class is a waste of time.

12. It’s a good idea to conquer your procrastinating mind.

13. It’s okay to have a night to yourself (even if it’s on a Friday night).

14. You should always forgive people (even if you can’t forget).

15. Even if you don’t talk to your best friend from home every single day, you guys will remain best friends. Trust me.

16. Dressing nice for class makes you feel better.

17. Don’t try too hard to impress someone. If they don’t like you for who you are, then they can suck it.

18. Be mindful of other people’s feelings. Even if you aren’t fond of someone.

19. That extra slice of pizza on that one Saturday isn’t going to kill you.

20. Sometimes it’s nice to stay in with friends instead of going out.

21. You don’t have to dress like a slut to go to a party (It screams desperation).

22. Breakups aren’t worth all the tears. It ended for a reason.

23. Honesty is the best policy.

24. Don’t give your trust to people too easily, but don’t mistrust people too easily.

25. The past is behind you and has nothing to do with the present.

26. Stepping out of your comfort zone will result in exciting things.

27. Raising your hand in class doesn’t make you a nerd, it just helps you learn better.

28. College is way better than high school.

29. Petty drama isn’t worth the fight.

30. It’s a really good idea to use the career center to your full advantage.

31. Being single is the shit. Rather than wallowing in your loneliness, find all the positives of it.

32. Don’t spend all your money on Starbucks.

33. Don’t have on again, off again relationships. If you’re off once, leave it like that. (We are never ever ever, getting back together).

34. It’s virtually impossible to be friends with an ex no matter how hard you try.

35. Things aren’t always as bad as they seem.

36. Don’t hold your feelings in. It’s important to say how you feel.

37. If you do something stupid, don’t let it take over your life. Learn from it.

38. You’ll realize who your true friends are, just give it a little time.

39. Don’t let anyone stop you from doing what you want to do. You wanna be an astronaut firefighter? You go for it.

40. Don’t be sad when your college years are soon coming to an end. You still have many good years ahead of you.