How To Be Positive Without Feeling Fake

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The “fake it ’til you make it” technique when it comes to positivity is total BS. Plastering on a smile when your lips want to naturally curve downward. Posting an overly uplifting quote on Facebook when you don’t fully believe it. Telling yourself that everything is great, when in reality, everything is falling apart.

All of these things are only temporary solutions to long-term issues. You’re not going to become a genuinely happy and upbeat person if you do these things. You’re going to feel like a fraud.

However, this doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to become positive. There are many things you can do to transform yourself and your thoughts without feeling fake. Here are some ideas to get you started:

  1. Create realistic goals. Have a list of both short-term and long-term goals that you know are achievable. Make sure your goals are things that will help you grow as a person. Personalize your goals as much as possible to assure that you’re not copying general goals that people have. Having things to work towards will help you build up your mental strength and it will change your whole perspective on life. Additionally, once you reach a goal, the feeling of euphoria is a feeling that no fake smile can obtain.
  2. Have full awareness of your problems. Many people believe that ignoring a problem will make it go away, or it will make it seem like the problem just isn’t there. Ignorance is not bliss at all. If you are constantly lying to yourself and claiming that nothing is wrong, you’re doing yourself more harm than good. Sit down and take a moment to identify anything on your mind that is bothering you. You can either write everything down on paper or just sit there and think. Sorting out everything that is wrong will help you to add to your list of goals and it will help you figure out productive solutions.
  3. Remove negative people from your life. If a friend is having a negative impact on you because of his/her attitude, you should reconsider having that person in your life. It’s pointless to have a person in your life who just provides drama and stress, rather than comfort and happiness. It can be difficult to cut a friend out of your life, but in this case, you need to put yourself first. You need to truly think about the negativity this person is bringing to your life and how much it’s affecting you. In the end, it’s not worth it to stay friends with someone for his/her sake. Only keep those in your life who lift you up.
  4. Engage in “feel good” activities. You have to figure out exactly what activities make you feel happy. Exercising can naturally make everyone feel happier because of those awesome endorphins. Engaging in your favorite hobby is important because doing what you love will give instant gratification. It’s also fun to explore new hobbies and activities in order to maintain personal growth. Search the Internet for a new, unique hobby that looks interesting to you. You can even find something new to do with a significant other or a friend. It can feel great to be doing things you want to do outside of things that you have to do. Live your life the way you want to and you’ll be a lot happier.
  5. Accept failure. It’s easy to feel down after something doesn’t go the way you wanted it to. While it’s perfectly OK to let yourself feel sad about it, don’t let that feeling last forever. You have to realize that no one is perfect, and that things will not always work out. Sometimes you’re going to fail at a goal, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Obviously we all crave success over failure; however, if we never accept failure, we will never accept ourselves. The good thing about failure is that it will force you to work harder. It will make you want to change the way you do things because you don’t want to see failure again. Once you are able to accept failure, you’ll be able to have more faith in yourself to keep persevering.
  6. Allow yourself to feel every emotion freely. If you’re only forcing yourself to feel happy, all of your other emotions are going to be trapped inside you. If you never let those other emotions out, you’re going to feel even worse. It’s OK to feel negative emotions. If human beings were only capable of feeling happiness, we’d be really boring and stagnant creatures. Just imagine you’re watching a movie and the characters were always smiling and nothing ever seemed wrong. Do you know how lame that would be? Allow yourself to fully embrace every emotion that you feel, even if you aren’t used to it. If you are able to adapt to expressing all of your emotions, it’ll help you become a stronger person in the end.
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How To Be Yourself (It’s Simple)

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Why are we so afraid of being authentic? Is it because we fear judgment from others? Is it because we don’t think we’re good enough?

You need to stop caring what others think of you. First impressions are made out to be overly important, when, in reality, you should never have to try so hard to impress someone. Being 100% yourself is impressing as it is. In such a harsh society, a person who is unabashedly herself should be viewed as a role model for everyone else out there.

You need to stop overthinking before speaking. Be mindful of what you say, but don’t rack through too many negative side effect of sharing your thoughts. You shouldn’t hold back from stating your unique opinions because you deserve a voice in this world. If you went your whole life without speaking up because you were too worried, you would be left with many regrets and your brain would reach its full capacity of trapped thoughts. You wouldn’t want to be trapped in a small room all alone, so why would you allow your thoughts to be locked away without coming out for air?

You need to stop questioning why you are so weird, and instead, embrace your quirks. It might be hard to believe, but everyone out there has at least one wacky quality that stands out from the norms of society. If you realized how crucial this quality is to yourself and to life in general, then you would go run outside and let your freak flag fly without any second thoughts. If there is someone who doesn’t appreciate your weirdness, that just means that they are having a difficult time appreciating their own differences.

You need to stop being so self-conscious about your physical appearance. Contrary to popular belief, beauty and attractiveness don’t come with a specific set of guidelines. Fashion doesn’t have its boundaries; you should express who you are through your own personal fashion choices. Hair and makeup are forms of personal art that are created for your own interpretations. You shouldn’t be worried about how others will perceive you through your appearance, but instead, you should own how you look. Put yourself together based on your own expectations and walk out that door knowing exactly who YOU are.

It doesn’t make sense that being authentic has become a crime in society, but sometimes you just have to push society’s “rules” aside and make your own. This is the story of your life, and you don’t want to write in any false information or embellishments. It’s a straight-forward nonfiction story about you, and it deserves to be a bestseller.

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The Monster That Lives Under Your Bed Is An Illusion

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When you were younger, you would lie in bed at night, afraid to put your legs over the edge because the monster underneath your bed would grab them and pull you under. But as you got older, you realized that your paranoia was all for nothing, because the monster only lived in your mind. But even though your childhood fears have left you a long time ago, you might still have different monsters in your mind.

We, as people, tend to overthink situations all the time. We hope for the best, but usually anticipate the worst. This is because we create different scenarios in our heads of all the terrible things that could go wrong. We do this so often, that we begin to believe that these bad things will actually occur to us. But like the monster under your bed, these bad things are usually illusions. They are counterparts of each of your worries put together into one giant monster that takes over your brain.

As adults, we lie in bed at night, stressing out about life. We lie there wondering when life is going to stop attacking us, and when we will finally get what we want. We constantly have all these thoughts spinning around in our heads, that we don’t know how to just put our minds to rest. Sometimes it’s so overwhelming, that we don’t even remember how to think about something in a positive light.

The cool thing about humans is that we have such vivid imaginations. We can direct a whole movie in our heads that no one else can see because it’s personalized. But why give every mind movie a tragic ending? What if we decided to put positive twists onto every negative vision? Most pessimistic thoughts that run through our brains aren’t even realistic. This is because we worry too much about things that haven’t happened to us yet, and might not ever happen.

Sure, technically your brain controls everything you do, but you can’t let it take over your soul and your heart. You shouldn’t let these illusions take over your feelings and emotions. You’ll feel silly when you realize that you’re overanalyzing a situation in your life. Even though the monster is so vivid in your mind, you’re always going to find emptiness underneath your bed.

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Expectations vs. Realities: The Life Of A Twenty-Something

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Life in your twenties is filled with a variety of emotions and experiences due to the fact that this is when adulthood truly comes into play. But the thing is, we don’t actually know how to be an adult until we do adult things. But the other thing is, we tend to go into our twenties with certain expectations, yet we come to realize that reality doesn’t quite match up to our expectations:

Career:

Expectation: Getting your dream job off the bat and being super happy about it.

Reality: Realizing that searching for a job is like trying to find your way out of a corn maze; you confidently walk in, then get excited when you turn a corner and see an opening, then you come to find that there’s actually more corn in your path, so you’re stuck. (Yeah, I know, it’s a great visual representation)

How to deal with the reality: It’s tough, but you have to keep trying. You can’t give up that soon because who wants to be stranded in the middle of a corn maze? Keep on keeping on and things will fall into place eventually. You might have to start with a job you don’t like, but by enduring a bad job, you’ll be able to build up your skills for your dream job.

Social Life:

Expectation: You feel like you’re still young enough to party whenever you want just like you did in college.

Reality: It’s somewhat socially unacceptable for a twenty-something to party as much as a college student, plus your alcohol tolerance is slowly but surely getting lower.

How to deal with the reality: This doesn’t mean that you can’t party at all, you just need to tone it down a bit and act more mature. You’ll also come to find that there are so many other fun things you can do with your friends that don’t involve getting wasted every weekend. Go be an adult socialite!

Health:

Expectation: You’re an adult now, so no one can tell you what not to eat.

Reality: You realize how important your health is and you realize that you should probably do something about it.

How to deal with the reality: It’s honestly not that hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Eat more fruits and vegetables and workout more. It doesn’t have to be this huge burden that takes over your life; just slowly incorporate healthiness into your life and it will soon stick with you. Go be a healthy adult!

Relationships:

Expectation: Since you’re in your twenties, you automatically need to find the person that you’re going to marry; time is running out!

Reality: It’s still okay to casually date people in your twenties.

How to deal with the reality: Don’t worry so much about finding the person you’re going to marry! It’s perfectly okay to go out on dates with people in order to figure out what type of person you want in your life. You’re still young, whether you believe it or not, which means you have plenty of time to find your husband/wife. If you happen to find that person in your twenties, more power to you! But it’s okay if you don’t!

Friendships:

Expectation: You’ll continue being friends with everyone you met in college and it’ll be great!

Reality: You will not be able to maintain every single friendship that you have made in college/in life in general.

How to deal with the reality: You have to realize that each friend you make won’t be a friend for life. You will have some amazing and special people who will definitely be in your life forever, but that can’t always be everyone. People get busy and move on with their lives, because that’s what happens when you get older. Appreciate the friends that have stuck with you and be open to new friendships, because you can definitely make new friends no matter how old you are!

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Dating Is A Game Of Chance

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Think of your life as a metaphorical game board. Each day, you roll the dice to see what impending situation will occur. You never know what will happen because it’s impossible to predict anything that happens in your life. You might have to conquer some obstacles some days, and other days you might get to lay back and relax with a nice alcoholic beverage of choice (assuming you are of age). Just like games, you never know your outcome of a situation until you get there and see what happens.

Narrowing life down even more, dating is a game in itself. Now, we typically don’t like to “play games”, in the immature sense, when it comes to dating, but the dating process is comparable to a game. Think about slot machines for a second. Yes, I know, your mind automatically jumps to Vegas and now you’re thinking all kinds of things, but just bear with me for a second. Slot machines are pure luck and chance, you don’t really have much control over what turns up on the machine. The same thing goes with dating. Dating is a game of chance because you never know who you’re going to meet and you never know what is going to happen. For instance, you can meet someone and think that it might turn into something, but then you realize they’re a dud after the first date. Or, you can be in a relationship with someone and think that they’re the one, and it might not even work out in the end.

These situations aren’t meant to be seen as anything negative, but rather, they should give you realizations about how life works. You can’t just give up after a bad relationship, and you can’t just swear off dating after one bad date. You have to get back in the game, and fight for your chance to win, because who doesn’t like winning games? Dating isn’t as simple as black and white because each person you encounter is going to be different from the last one and the next one. But this is what makes dating exciting! New experiences and new people can teach you many lessons about the dating world as a whole.

So, as you roll your dice for the day, don’t wish for anything to happen, don’t try to predict what will happen, just let things play out as they are meant to. Don’t waste your time worrying about all the bad dates or relationships you’ve been through. Just push all that aside, and see what pops up next on your metaphorical dating slot machine. You’ll be a winner someday. (If all else fails, move to Vegas).

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Be Sure To ‘Like’ “Walking In The Right Sized Shoes” On Facebook!

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‘Like’ the “Walking In The Right Sized Shoes” Facebook page for immediate updates and inspirational words of positivity! Check it out here:  https://www.facebook.com/walkingintherightsizedshoes?ref=aymt_homepage_panel

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The Truth About Feminism

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Feminism has become a controversial topic mainly because of the false definitions that people give it. A lot of people out there truly believe that feminism involves hatred against men, yet this is completely untrue. I think a lot people are believing this because there are people out there who claim to be feminists and they also claim to hate men, which ultimately puts out a bad name for feminism as a whole. Misandrists are “men haters”, while feminists are equality lovers.

Feminism is not about hating men, or hating anyone for that matter. It simply stands for gender equality. While many might argue that feminism is more of fighting for women’s rights, which is partially true, it also just fights for equal rights for both women and men.

Our country has evolved through the years, but there are still many issues with gender inequality. A huge one is unequal pay. In most companies, women only get paid 78% of what men get paid, even if they are doing the exact same job. This wage gap not only makes no sense, but it’s also completely unfair. Why should a woman be paid less than a man if she is doing the same amount of work as him, and is just as equally educated? Equal pay isn’t really an outlandish request, it’s more so requesting something just.

Another aspect of gender inequality in the workforce is superiority. These days, we do see more women becoming CEO’s and managers, but there still seems to be a larger amount of men in higher positions. This could either be due to the fact that men are more likely to be hired, or it could be due to the fact that women are afraid to apply for higher positions. Either way, it’s a noticeable factor. Women and men should both be able to equally receive high positions if they both have the same qualifications and skills.

There are many internet trolls out there who created the term “meninism” as an opposing force to feminism. Meninism mocks feminism in many ways, and jokes around about men needing more rights. This new term was created by people who don’t understand the true meaning of feminism, as mentioned earlier. “Meninists” think that feminists believe in women having more power than men, which is, again, far from the truth.

To understand this topic better, use the term “gender equality” instead of “feminism”. Although, it doesn’t necessarily matter what term you use, because the general concept is what is really important. Why should one gender be superior over another? Who even decided that in the first place? We are all just people, and we should all be treated equally and respectfully.