The TwentySomething Chronicles: Finding Yourself

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Many people have the notion that you have to find yourself by the time you reach your twenties. This isn’t a realistic approach to life. You can spend your childhood thinking about your dream career, and you can spend your teen years gaining experience for the future, but that doesn’t mean that you’ll be able to figure everything out by your twentieth birthday.

Your twenties is actually the best period of time in your life to find out who you really are and who you want to be. Whether you’re a college student, college graduate, or are going in a different route, you’re at a very important age in life. You’re on the verge of adulthood and anything is possible.

There aren’t set rules or steps to take in order to find yourself, but here are some basic guidelines:

1. Find out what is important to you.

If you care about a certain topic or organization, go ahead and do something about it. Find volunteer opportunities or research various ways to help a cause that is close to your heart. If you’re doing something worthwhile, you’ll find your calling in the midst of everything. It’s just a matter of putting yourself out there and figuring out your interests.

2. Use your hobbies to your advantage.

Delve deeper into your favorite hobby or take a new one for a spin. Hell, take on multiple hobbies at once. Actively involving yourself in your passions will spark a huge flame in your life. You will feel more satisfied with life if you are constantly doing things you love to do. Additionally, you might even find a new path you want to go down.

3. Cherish meaningful relationships.

You’re at an age where you’re finally finding true friendships and relationships. This is very crucial to your soul searching. If you have people in your life who truly care about you, this support system will back you up whenever you find yourself falling. These are peers who are working on finding themselves as well, so you won’t feel alone in the matter.

4. Don’t feel rushed. 

You don’t need to follow the standard “rules” of life. You don’t need to find your ultimate career in your twenties and get married before your thirties. Make your own rules and set your own standards. You have to understand that it’s perfectly okay if you’re not doing exactly what you want to do yet. You’re younger than you think you are.

5. Be open-minded.

Always be up to try new things in life, whether they work out or not. You learned at an early age that if you don’t try something, you’ll never know if you like it. This lesson will always be true, no matter what your age is. If you go for anything and everything, you’ll not only gain experiences, but you also might find something new that you like.

 

Another thing you should realize is that a part of finding yourself is creating yourself. You create yourself through both your positive and negative experiences, through your successes and your mistakes, and through your happiest times and your darkest times.

When you’re in your twenties, you can’t let personal or societal pressures get to you. You have to use the power of your own mind and your own heart in order to be you.

The process of finding yourself can be quite terrifying. But, as the cliché people say: it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. Let’s face it, your twenties would be boring as hell if you already had everything you want in life. So enjoy the ride and endure the crashes along the way; it’ll be worth it eventually.

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How To Be Yourself (It’s Simple)

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Why are we so afraid of being authentic? Is it because we fear judgment from others? Is it because we don’t think we’re good enough?

You need to stop caring what others think of you. First impressions are made out to be overly important, when, in reality, you should never have to try so hard to impress someone. Being 100% yourself is impressing as it is. In such a harsh society, a person who is unabashedly herself should be viewed as a role model for everyone else out there.

You need to stop overthinking before speaking. Be mindful of what you say, but don’t rack through too many negative side effect of sharing your thoughts. You shouldn’t hold back from stating your unique opinions because you deserve a voice in this world. If you went your whole life without speaking up because you were too worried, you would be left with many regrets and your brain would reach its full capacity of trapped thoughts. You wouldn’t want to be trapped in a small room all alone, so why would you allow your thoughts to be locked away without coming out for air?

You need to stop questioning why you are so weird, and instead, embrace your quirks. It might be hard to believe, but everyone out there has at least one wacky quality that stands out from the norms of society. If you realized how crucial this quality is to yourself and to life in general, then you would go run outside and let your freak flag fly without any second thoughts. If there is someone who doesn’t appreciate your weirdness, that just means that they are having a difficult time appreciating their own differences.

You need to stop being so self-conscious about your physical appearance. Contrary to popular belief, beauty and attractiveness don’t come with a specific set of guidelines. Fashion doesn’t have its boundaries; you should express who you are through your own personal fashion choices. Hair and makeup are forms of personal art that are created for your own interpretations. You shouldn’t be worried about how others will perceive you through your appearance, but instead, you should own how you look. Put yourself together based on your own expectations and walk out that door knowing exactly who YOU are.

It doesn’t make sense that being authentic has become a crime in society, but sometimes you just have to push society’s “rules” aside and make your own. This is the story of your life, and you don’t want to write in any false information or embellishments. It’s a straight-forward nonfiction story about you, and it deserves to be a bestseller.

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Say No To Normality: A Poem

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Deviation

Why stay in a solid confining bottle,

When there’s more breathing room on the outside?

Why try to blend into the colors of the world,

When you can brand your own shade of charisma?

Why keep your precious thoughts out of the light,

When you can unleash a storm of empowering insight?

Why not contrast against the rest,

When conformity brings you to your knees?

Why not be a creative innovation,

When everyone else is a replication?

Why not just be you,

When there is no one else to be?

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Expectations vs. Realities: The Life Of A Twenty-Something

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Life in your twenties is filled with a variety of emotions and experiences due to the fact that this is when adulthood truly comes into play. But the thing is, we don’t actually know how to be an adult until we do adult things. But the other thing is, we tend to go into our twenties with certain expectations, yet we come to realize that reality doesn’t quite match up to our expectations:

Career:

Expectation: Getting your dream job off the bat and being super happy about it.

Reality: Realizing that searching for a job is like trying to find your way out of a corn maze; you confidently walk in, then get excited when you turn a corner and see an opening, then you come to find that there’s actually more corn in your path, so you’re stuck. (Yeah, I know, it’s a great visual representation)

How to deal with the reality: It’s tough, but you have to keep trying. You can’t give up that soon because who wants to be stranded in the middle of a corn maze? Keep on keeping on and things will fall into place eventually. You might have to start with a job you don’t like, but by enduring a bad job, you’ll be able to build up your skills for your dream job.

Social Life:

Expectation: You feel like you’re still young enough to party whenever you want just like you did in college.

Reality: It’s somewhat socially unacceptable for a twenty-something to party as much as a college student, plus your alcohol tolerance is slowly but surely getting lower.

How to deal with the reality: This doesn’t mean that you can’t party at all, you just need to tone it down a bit and act more mature. You’ll also come to find that there are so many other fun things you can do with your friends that don’t involve getting wasted every weekend. Go be an adult socialite!

Health:

Expectation: You’re an adult now, so no one can tell you what not to eat.

Reality: You realize how important your health is and you realize that you should probably do something about it.

How to deal with the reality: It’s honestly not that hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Eat more fruits and vegetables and workout more. It doesn’t have to be this huge burden that takes over your life; just slowly incorporate healthiness into your life and it will soon stick with you. Go be a healthy adult!

Relationships:

Expectation: Since you’re in your twenties, you automatically need to find the person that you’re going to marry; time is running out!

Reality: It’s still okay to casually date people in your twenties.

How to deal with the reality: Don’t worry so much about finding the person you’re going to marry! It’s perfectly okay to go out on dates with people in order to figure out what type of person you want in your life. You’re still young, whether you believe it or not, which means you have plenty of time to find your husband/wife. If you happen to find that person in your twenties, more power to you! But it’s okay if you don’t!

Friendships:

Expectation: You’ll continue being friends with everyone you met in college and it’ll be great!

Reality: You will not be able to maintain every single friendship that you have made in college/in life in general.

How to deal with the reality: You have to realize that each friend you make won’t be a friend for life. You will have some amazing and special people who will definitely be in your life forever, but that can’t always be everyone. People get busy and move on with their lives, because that’s what happens when you get older. Appreciate the friends that have stuck with you and be open to new friendships, because you can definitely make new friends no matter how old you are!

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Dating Is A Game Of Chance

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Think of your life as a metaphorical game board. Each day, you roll the dice to see what impending situation will occur. You never know what will happen because it’s impossible to predict anything that happens in your life. You might have to conquer some obstacles some days, and other days you might get to lay back and relax with a nice alcoholic beverage of choice (assuming you are of age). Just like games, you never know your outcome of a situation until you get there and see what happens.

Narrowing life down even more, dating is a game in itself. Now, we typically don’t like to “play games”, in the immature sense, when it comes to dating, but the dating process is comparable to a game. Think about slot machines for a second. Yes, I know, your mind automatically jumps to Vegas and now you’re thinking all kinds of things, but just bear with me for a second. Slot machines are pure luck and chance, you don’t really have much control over what turns up on the machine. The same thing goes with dating. Dating is a game of chance because you never know who you’re going to meet and you never know what is going to happen. For instance, you can meet someone and think that it might turn into something, but then you realize they’re a dud after the first date. Or, you can be in a relationship with someone and think that they’re the one, and it might not even work out in the end.

These situations aren’t meant to be seen as anything negative, but rather, they should give you realizations about how life works. You can’t just give up after a bad relationship, and you can’t just swear off dating after one bad date. You have to get back in the game, and fight for your chance to win, because who doesn’t like winning games? Dating isn’t as simple as black and white because each person you encounter is going to be different from the last one and the next one. But this is what makes dating exciting! New experiences and new people can teach you many lessons about the dating world as a whole.

So, as you roll your dice for the day, don’t wish for anything to happen, don’t try to predict what will happen, just let things play out as they are meant to. Don’t waste your time worrying about all the bad dates or relationships you’ve been through. Just push all that aside, and see what pops up next on your metaphorical dating slot machine. You’ll be a winner someday. (If all else fails, move to Vegas).

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Be Sure To ‘Like’ “Walking In The Right Sized Shoes” On Facebook!

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‘Like’ the “Walking In The Right Sized Shoes” Facebook page for immediate updates and inspirational words of positivity! Check it out here:  https://www.facebook.com/walkingintherightsizedshoes?ref=aymt_homepage_panel

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15 Ways To Improve Your Mood

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We all have bad days and good days, but it’s important to always work on improving your mood because you deserve to be happy!  There are many small and easy things you can do in order to feel better, but here are some ideas:

1. Write about your feelings.

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Whether you’re a writer or not, it always helps to let everything out that you’ve been building up inside. If you put all your thoughts down on paper, not only will you feel relieved, but it will also be easier for you to solve your problems.

2. Exercise.

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Even though lying on the couch sounds better than exercise, releasing those endorphins can be very fulfilling! Even just going for an easy walk can make you feel really great; it doesn’t have to be anything extensive!

3. Listen to your favorite music.

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Even though you might be tempted to listen to sad music when you’re in a negative mood, doing so will only keep you in that mood. If you listen to your favorite upbeat music and sing along, you’ll start feeling better before you know it!

4. Get organized.

Create a Writing Schedule

If you’re in a bad mood because you have a lot on your plate, take a moment to breathe and make a list or schedule of everything you have to do. If you organize everything by when you’re going to get things done, it will be easier for you to accomplish everything.

5. Do some cleaning.

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No one really likes cleaning, but if you’re in a clean environment, you’ll automatically be able to feel a lot better about life. Even if it’s just picking up some things off your floor, you’ll feel great about the improvement you have just made.

6. Get some fresh air.

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Being cooped up inside when you’re in a bad mood makes it hard to improve. Go sit outside, or even just crack open your window. Breathing in the outside air will make your brain feel less “blah” and more at ease.

7. Hang out with friends.

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If you go out and do something fun, or even just sit and chat with friends, chances are you’ll start feeling a lot better right away. Whether it’s talking to your friends about why you’re in a bad mood, or just distracting yourself, it’s a lot better than sitting by yourself.

8. Watch some funny videos.

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YouTube can be your best friend if none of your friends are available to make you laugh. Watch some of your old favorite funny videos, or look up new, random ones. Laughing is good for the soul!

9. Watch your favorite movie.

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If you have some more time, watch a movie that you have always loved and always makes you smile or laugh. Or even watch your favorite TV show! Entertainment is beautiful thing.

10. Dance in your room.

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This is where that saying “dance like no one is watching” comes in. Blast a catchy tune and dance your heart out because why not? You’ll not only have a chance to laugh at yourself, but you’ll also have so much fun.

11. Think about something exciting.

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Find at least one thing that you are looking forward to and focus on that. It’ll make your day a lot better knowing that better things are coming to you very soon.

12. Play with puppies.

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If you don’t have your own dog, go to a pet store or shelter and go play with or pet some dogs! Dogs instantly put people in a good mood because they are just so cute and friendly! If you’re not a dog person, choose another animal to go play with!

13. Volunteer.

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If you have some extra time, go find a volunteer opportunity. Making other people happy will give you a lot of great feelings. Essentially, helping others become happy will make you happy as well.

14. Finish a project you’ve been putting off.

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It always feels great to finish something, so if you’ve been procrastinating on a hobby or project, go finish it! Even if you’re busy, try to make some time to get it done.

15. Just smile. 

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This one may sound silly, but smiling alone can change your mood, even in the slightest way. Try to smile throughout the day, and smile at others as well, because you never know who else is also having a bad day!

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What Type Of Flirt Are You?

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Ah, flirting, a fun little activity that can also be ever-so frightening for some people. We all have different ways of showing people that we are interested in them, but there’s no scientific proof that one way of flirting is better than another. It all depends on the person and the situation. Your type of flirting may work on one person, but you might be pushed away by someone else. It’s a game of chance, luck, and a little bit of determination. Here are 5 very common types of flirts that exist:

Sarcastic Flirt

You use various levels of sarcasm and sometimes light-hearted insults to subtly, yet so obviously hint that you’re interested. This type of flirting can be especially fun because it can turn into a game of who can be more sarcastic. This can often initiate quick bonding and can set you on a path of possibilities. Hey, maybe someday you’ll both get married and have sarcastic babies who will carry on the chain of beautiful sarcasm.

Pros: You give off your personality and sense of humor right off the bat. This is important because you’re not trying too hard and you’re just being yourself. You also aren’t being extremely forward with the other person, which is good because you don’t want to come off too strong and scare them away.

Cons: If the person you’re flirting with doesn’t pick up on sarcasm very well, then you’re completely out of luck. You might even end up offending someone, which is the polar opposite of your original intentions.

Drunk Flirt

You have a fine appreciation for the existence of liquid courage. You’re that person who, after several shots of vodka (or tequila, if you roll like that), walks (or stumbles) up to the hottie at the bar without even really thinking about it. You’re not afraid to be completely blunt about how attracted you are to them and you even feel bold enough to rest a hand on their shoulder. You might be slurring a bit, but you always say exactly what you want to say.

Pros: You use every part of your confidence without even having the time to be nervous about it. This is an extremely powerful tactic because you’ll never miss out on the opportunity to meet someone new. The string of compliments that you unleash can be wonderfully satisfying.

Cons: You sometimes might come off as a sloppy drunk, which isn’t very attractive to any decent human being. If you get too drunk, your flirting might be considered an annoyance instead of a means of endearment.

“One Of The Boys” Flirt

You tend to have a lot of guy friends because you enjoy doing the typical things that they do together. Whether it’s madly yelling at the TV set during a football game, or participating in a beer chugging contest, you get along with guys very well. You use your ability to relate to them in order to get close to them. This isn’t very difficult for you because it just comes naturally.

Pros: A lot of guys appreciate girls who share similar interests to them because they sometimes find it to be a rare quality. You also are showing interest simply by being you, which is an awesome lead-in to dating someone. You typically feel more comfortable than other girls when you’re around guys, which is a huge plus.

Cons: You are easily put into the friendzone because of your laid-back approach to flirting. He might be quick to just consider you to be another one of his buddies instead of a potential girlfriend. Sometimes he also might not get the hint that you like him because it’s not always completely obvious.

Overly Confident Flirt

You put yourself out there and you don’t give a damn about the consequences. You have no problem talking to a person of interest and you don’t care about being completely obvious about your intentions. Even if you get shut down, you just keep moving on to your next possible mate. You love using various flirting techniques because it gives you a chance to test out what works best.

Pros: You have that similar wonderful power as a drunk flirt, except a bonus is that you are completely sober. The person you’re flirting with can potentially appreciate your fearlessness, which can slide you into success.

Cons: It’s possible to be TOO confident. Excessive amounts of confidence can come off as cockiness, which no one really likes. You also might come off way too strong sometimes, which ultimately won’t help you get what you want.

Social Media Maven Flirt

You are a pro at discreetly, yet noticeably, ‘liking’ your crush’s photos on Facebook, leaving witty comments on their Instagram pictures, and tweeting them an appropriately flirty message in 140 characters or less. You are also probably a specialist at flirting through text messages. You aren’t scared to message them first because hey, you got this.

Pros: You take the time to think about what you’re going to say to someone through a text or a Facebook message, which allows you to send something quite pristine. This can greatly impress the other person and make them want to continue talking to you.

Cons: Because you are used to taking the time to think about what to say, it might be hard for you to transition your flirting into the real world. You are probably a little more nervous when you’re talking to your crush in person, which can cause awkwardness and mixed signals.

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10 Things You Learn In College Outside The Classroom

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College is first seen as a time of studying hard and working towards a career. While this is accurate, the overall college experience gives people the opportunity to learn more than just what they read in textbooks. College students learn all these extra little things without even realizing it. Here are some of the things that they learn:

1. How to find true friends. This lesson usually doesn’t come right off the bat because when you’re starting out as a freshman, everyone is new and everyone wants to hang out. But over the years, you come to find who is truly your friend and who is not. College allows you to differentiate between a true friend and a fake friend, which is something that develops with time.

2. How to have a stable relationship. College relationships are way more serious than they are in high school. If you go through some crappy relationships during college, you are able to learn what you can do differently in future relationships in order to make them more stable. If you have secured yourself in a serious relationship in college, you learn how to maintain it, and throughout the relationship, you learn how to make it better. College is a time for maturing, and understanding how to resolve conflict with others.

3. How to have fun. Even though you have to be serious when it comes to classwork, college is a time for going out and doing fun things. You learn that it’s perfectly okay to give yourself a break once in awhile, because having fun is a crucial part of life.

4. How to take care of yourself. This refers to many different aspects of taking care of yourself, from learning how to essentially live on your own, to eating well and exercising. Usually freshman year, you don’t care much about eating healthy and getting enough sleep, but over the years you realize how important these things are.

5. How to be responsible. Responsibility is a huge part of college because not only are you responsible for getting your homework done in time, but you also have outside responsibilities that come along with your independence. As more responsibilities get thrown on you throughout the years, you learn how to be a more organized individual.

6. How to work with others. You’ve been taught at a young age how to work with others, but it really sinks in during college. This is mainly because you get stuck doing group projects and working with people who you might not get along with. Being put in situations like these allow you to become more mature, and learn how to work with people who are different from you.

7. How to try new things. College is a time where new opportunities fly at you from every angle. Being in a new place on your own allows you to branch out a bit more than you’re used to. This is a good thing because it opens you up to new interests and new things that you might have never even tried before.

8. How to ask for help. During your college years, you come to realize that it’s perfectly okay to ask for help when you’re lost or confused. This can range from getting help on schoolwork to getting help with personal problems. This is something you learn because you’re maturing and realizing that getting help isn’t a bad thing, it’s only another thing that contributes to your growth.

9. How to be involved. Colleges have so many different organizations that you’re bound to have found at least one that you belong to. This involvement gives you some experiences that you might not have had without college. It also helps you meet new people who are interested in similar things to you, and sometimes these people can become your life-long friends.

10. How to find yourself. Essentially, college is the time in your life where you find out what you want to do in your future. With that, comes finding yourself. During college, you’ll sometimes lose yourself during your journey, and you might not have even completely found yourself by the time you graduate. But this doesn’t mean that you will never find yourself. You can take everything you’ve learned in college and apply it to your life, while continuing on your journey after graduation.

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How To Be A Less Cynical And More Positive Single Person On Valentine’s Day

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It’s that time of the year again when people are shelling out money for flowers, chocolates, cheesy greeting cards, expensive gifts, and fancy dinners. It’s also that time of year when the majority of single people in the world get cranky, annoyed, upset, and/or angry. This set of emotions tends to happen because they either wish they had someone to share Valentine’s Day with, they’re jealous of the couples who are celebrating, they hate the whole idea of Valentine’s Day, or a combination of two or more of these things.

What makes single people act so cynical toward Valentine’s Day? Sure, many would say that it’s a manufactured holiday that just gives Hallmark and other companies a jump up in revenue, but it’s also a day that is special to some people. There are many different things you can do to be a happier single person on Valentine’s Day.

If you are one of those people who are so focused on Valentine’s Day and you wish you had someone to spend the holiday with, there are plenty of things you can do to distract yourself. You can spend that time hanging out with your other single friends, and do something fun and exciting. If you are in a situation where you’ll be alone on Valentine’s Day, don’t be afraid! You can be your own Valentine! As lame as this sounds, it’s actually nice to treat yourself to anything you want. Go out and buy yourself chocolates and nice wine. Put in some comedic DVDs (not romantic ones that will make you cry!) and laugh as loud as you want. Spending Valentine’s Day without a special someone does not have to be as pathetic as you make it out to be. Treat yoself!

If you’re someone who easily gets jealous of all the posts on Facebook that people share about what their significant other got them/did for them on Valentine’s Day, I have one simple solution: STOP LOOKING. Force yourself to stay off all social media for that whole day, and distract yourself with better things. If you don’t want to see all the lovey-dovey couples out on Valentine’s Day, then go buy yourself something nice and have a fun night in to yourself, or with friends. Stop inserting yourself into situations that will make you feel worse about being single!

If you’re the ultimate Valentine’s Day cynic who despises this holiday and trashes it along with whoever celebrates it, you need to stop. Just because you think the holiday is stupid, doesn’t mean that people who celebrate it are stupid. Some people look forward to celebrating Valentine’s Day, and you shouldn’t let that bother you and your opinions. Let people do what they want, because everyone has different views on this day. Don’t put anyone down for the way they celebrate. You do you, they’ll do them, and that’s how it’s supposed to be!

All in all, you have to understand that it’s perfectly okay to be single. Whether you treat Valentine’s Day as just another day, or if you acknowledge it as a holiday, you’re the same person on February 14th as you are on any other day. Valentine’s Day isn’t meant for kicking single people to the curb while the happy couples rejoice. It’s a day where you should appreciate everyone in your life, regardless of your relationship status. You’ll feel a whole lot better if you don’t let Valentine’s Day affect you in a negative way.

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