The TwentySomething Chronicles: Finding Yourself

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Many people have the notion that you have to find yourself by the time you reach your twenties. This isn’t a realistic approach to life. You can spend your childhood thinking about your dream career, and you can spend your teen years gaining experience for the future, but that doesn’t mean that you’ll be able to figure everything out by your twentieth birthday.

Your twenties is actually the best period of time in your life to find out who you really are and who you want to be. Whether you’re a college student, college graduate, or are going in a different route, you’re at a very important age in life. You’re on the verge of adulthood and anything is possible.

There aren’t set rules or steps to take in order to find yourself, but here are some basic guidelines:

1. Find out what is important to you.

If you care about a certain topic or organization, go ahead and do something about it. Find volunteer opportunities or research various ways to help a cause that is close to your heart. If you’re doing something worthwhile, you’ll find your calling in the midst of everything. It’s just a matter of putting yourself out there and figuring out your interests.

2. Use your hobbies to your advantage.

Delve deeper into your favorite hobby or take a new one for a spin. Hell, take on multiple hobbies at once. Actively involving yourself in your passions will spark a huge flame in your life. You will feel more satisfied with life if you are constantly doing things you love to do. Additionally, you might even find a new path you want to go down.

3. Cherish meaningful relationships.

You’re at an age where you’re finally finding true friendships and relationships. This is very crucial to your soul searching. If you have people in your life who truly care about you, this support system will back you up whenever you find yourself falling. These are peers who are working on finding themselves as well, so you won’t feel alone in the matter.

4. Don’t feel rushed. 

You don’t need to follow the standard “rules” of life. You don’t need to find your ultimate career in your twenties and get married before your thirties. Make your own rules and set your own standards. You have to understand that it’s perfectly okay if you’re not doing exactly what you want to do yet. You’re younger than you think you are.

5. Be open-minded.

Always be up to try new things in life, whether they work out or not. You learned at an early age that if you don’t try something, you’ll never know if you like it. This lesson will always be true, no matter what your age is. If you go for anything and everything, you’ll not only gain experiences, but you also might find something new that you like.

 

Another thing you should realize is that a part of finding yourself is creating yourself. You create yourself through both your positive and negative experiences, through your successes and your mistakes, and through your happiest times and your darkest times.

When you’re in your twenties, you can’t let personal or societal pressures get to you. You have to use the power of your own mind and your own heart in order to be you.

The process of finding yourself can be quite terrifying. But, as the cliché people say: it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. Let’s face it, your twenties would be boring as hell if you already had everything you want in life. So enjoy the ride and endure the crashes along the way; it’ll be worth it eventually.

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How To Be Yourself (It’s Simple)

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Why are we so afraid of being authentic? Is it because we fear judgment from others? Is it because we don’t think we’re good enough?

You need to stop caring what others think of you. First impressions are made out to be overly important, when, in reality, you should never have to try so hard to impress someone. Being 100% yourself is impressing as it is. In such a harsh society, a person who is unabashedly herself should be viewed as a role model for everyone else out there.

You need to stop overthinking before speaking. Be mindful of what you say, but don’t rack through too many negative side effect of sharing your thoughts. You shouldn’t hold back from stating your unique opinions because you deserve a voice in this world. If you went your whole life without speaking up because you were too worried, you would be left with many regrets and your brain would reach its full capacity of trapped thoughts. You wouldn’t want to be trapped in a small room all alone, so why would you allow your thoughts to be locked away without coming out for air?

You need to stop questioning why you are so weird, and instead, embrace your quirks. It might be hard to believe, but everyone out there has at least one wacky quality that stands out from the norms of society. If you realized how crucial this quality is to yourself and to life in general, then you would go run outside and let your freak flag fly without any second thoughts. If there is someone who doesn’t appreciate your weirdness, that just means that they are having a difficult time appreciating their own differences.

You need to stop being so self-conscious about your physical appearance. Contrary to popular belief, beauty and attractiveness don’t come with a specific set of guidelines. Fashion doesn’t have its boundaries; you should express who you are through your own personal fashion choices. Hair and makeup are forms of personal art that are created for your own interpretations. You shouldn’t be worried about how others will perceive you through your appearance, but instead, you should own how you look. Put yourself together based on your own expectations and walk out that door knowing exactly who YOU are.

It doesn’t make sense that being authentic has become a crime in society, but sometimes you just have to push society’s “rules” aside and make your own. This is the story of your life, and you don’t want to write in any false information or embellishments. It’s a straight-forward nonfiction story about you, and it deserves to be a bestseller.

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Say No To Normality: A Poem

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Deviation

Why stay in a solid confining bottle,

When there’s more breathing room on the outside?

Why try to blend into the colors of the world,

When you can brand your own shade of charisma?

Why keep your precious thoughts out of the light,

When you can unleash a storm of empowering insight?

Why not contrast against the rest,

When conformity brings you to your knees?

Why not be a creative innovation,

When everyone else is a replication?

Why not just be you,

When there is no one else to be?

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Expectations vs. Realities: The Life Of A Twenty-Something

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Life in your twenties is filled with a variety of emotions and experiences due to the fact that this is when adulthood truly comes into play. But the thing is, we don’t actually know how to be an adult until we do adult things. But the other thing is, we tend to go into our twenties with certain expectations, yet we come to realize that reality doesn’t quite match up to our expectations:

Career:

Expectation: Getting your dream job off the bat and being super happy about it.

Reality: Realizing that searching for a job is like trying to find your way out of a corn maze; you confidently walk in, then get excited when you turn a corner and see an opening, then you come to find that there’s actually more corn in your path, so you’re stuck. (Yeah, I know, it’s a great visual representation)

How to deal with the reality: It’s tough, but you have to keep trying. You can’t give up that soon because who wants to be stranded in the middle of a corn maze? Keep on keeping on and things will fall into place eventually. You might have to start with a job you don’t like, but by enduring a bad job, you’ll be able to build up your skills for your dream job.

Social Life:

Expectation: You feel like you’re still young enough to party whenever you want just like you did in college.

Reality: It’s somewhat socially unacceptable for a twenty-something to party as much as a college student, plus your alcohol tolerance is slowly but surely getting lower.

How to deal with the reality: This doesn’t mean that you can’t party at all, you just need to tone it down a bit and act more mature. You’ll also come to find that there are so many other fun things you can do with your friends that don’t involve getting wasted every weekend. Go be an adult socialite!

Health:

Expectation: You’re an adult now, so no one can tell you what not to eat.

Reality: You realize how important your health is and you realize that you should probably do something about it.

How to deal with the reality: It’s honestly not that hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Eat more fruits and vegetables and workout more. It doesn’t have to be this huge burden that takes over your life; just slowly incorporate healthiness into your life and it will soon stick with you. Go be a healthy adult!

Relationships:

Expectation: Since you’re in your twenties, you automatically need to find the person that you’re going to marry; time is running out!

Reality: It’s still okay to casually date people in your twenties.

How to deal with the reality: Don’t worry so much about finding the person you’re going to marry! It’s perfectly okay to go out on dates with people in order to figure out what type of person you want in your life. You’re still young, whether you believe it or not, which means you have plenty of time to find your husband/wife. If you happen to find that person in your twenties, more power to you! But it’s okay if you don’t!

Friendships:

Expectation: You’ll continue being friends with everyone you met in college and it’ll be great!

Reality: You will not be able to maintain every single friendship that you have made in college/in life in general.

How to deal with the reality: You have to realize that each friend you make won’t be a friend for life. You will have some amazing and special people who will definitely be in your life forever, but that can’t always be everyone. People get busy and move on with their lives, because that’s what happens when you get older. Appreciate the friends that have stuck with you and be open to new friendships, because you can definitely make new friends no matter how old you are!

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Dating Is A Game Of Chance

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Think of your life as a metaphorical game board. Each day, you roll the dice to see what impending situation will occur. You never know what will happen because it’s impossible to predict anything that happens in your life. You might have to conquer some obstacles some days, and other days you might get to lay back and relax with a nice alcoholic beverage of choice (assuming you are of age). Just like games, you never know your outcome of a situation until you get there and see what happens.

Narrowing life down even more, dating is a game in itself. Now, we typically don’t like to “play games”, in the immature sense, when it comes to dating, but the dating process is comparable to a game. Think about slot machines for a second. Yes, I know, your mind automatically jumps to Vegas and now you’re thinking all kinds of things, but just bear with me for a second. Slot machines are pure luck and chance, you don’t really have much control over what turns up on the machine. The same thing goes with dating. Dating is a game of chance because you never know who you’re going to meet and you never know what is going to happen. For instance, you can meet someone and think that it might turn into something, but then you realize they’re a dud after the first date. Or, you can be in a relationship with someone and think that they’re the one, and it might not even work out in the end.

These situations aren’t meant to be seen as anything negative, but rather, they should give you realizations about how life works. You can’t just give up after a bad relationship, and you can’t just swear off dating after one bad date. You have to get back in the game, and fight for your chance to win, because who doesn’t like winning games? Dating isn’t as simple as black and white because each person you encounter is going to be different from the last one and the next one. But this is what makes dating exciting! New experiences and new people can teach you many lessons about the dating world as a whole.

So, as you roll your dice for the day, don’t wish for anything to happen, don’t try to predict what will happen, just let things play out as they are meant to. Don’t waste your time worrying about all the bad dates or relationships you’ve been through. Just push all that aside, and see what pops up next on your metaphorical dating slot machine. You’ll be a winner someday. (If all else fails, move to Vegas).

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Be Sure To ‘Like’ “Walking In The Right Sized Shoes” On Facebook!

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‘Like’ the “Walking In The Right Sized Shoes” Facebook page for immediate updates and inspirational words of positivity! Check it out here:  https://www.facebook.com/walkingintherightsizedshoes?ref=aymt_homepage_panel

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15 Ways To Improve Your Mood

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We all have bad days and good days, but it’s important to always work on improving your mood because you deserve to be happy!  There are many small and easy things you can do in order to feel better, but here are some ideas:

1. Write about your feelings.

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Whether you’re a writer or not, it always helps to let everything out that you’ve been building up inside. If you put all your thoughts down on paper, not only will you feel relieved, but it will also be easier for you to solve your problems.

2. Exercise.

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Even though lying on the couch sounds better than exercise, releasing those endorphins can be very fulfilling! Even just going for an easy walk can make you feel really great; it doesn’t have to be anything extensive!

3. Listen to your favorite music.

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Even though you might be tempted to listen to sad music when you’re in a negative mood, doing so will only keep you in that mood. If you listen to your favorite upbeat music and sing along, you’ll start feeling better before you know it!

4. Get organized.

Create a Writing Schedule

If you’re in a bad mood because you have a lot on your plate, take a moment to breathe and make a list or schedule of everything you have to do. If you organize everything by when you’re going to get things done, it will be easier for you to accomplish everything.

5. Do some cleaning.

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No one really likes cleaning, but if you’re in a clean environment, you’ll automatically be able to feel a lot better about life. Even if it’s just picking up some things off your floor, you’ll feel great about the improvement you have just made.

6. Get some fresh air.

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Being cooped up inside when you’re in a bad mood makes it hard to improve. Go sit outside, or even just crack open your window. Breathing in the outside air will make your brain feel less “blah” and more at ease.

7. Hang out with friends.

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If you go out and do something fun, or even just sit and chat with friends, chances are you’ll start feeling a lot better right away. Whether it’s talking to your friends about why you’re in a bad mood, or just distracting yourself, it’s a lot better than sitting by yourself.

8. Watch some funny videos.

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YouTube can be your best friend if none of your friends are available to make you laugh. Watch some of your old favorite funny videos, or look up new, random ones. Laughing is good for the soul!

9. Watch your favorite movie.

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If you have some more time, watch a movie that you have always loved and always makes you smile or laugh. Or even watch your favorite TV show! Entertainment is beautiful thing.

10. Dance in your room.

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This is where that saying “dance like no one is watching” comes in. Blast a catchy tune and dance your heart out because why not? You’ll not only have a chance to laugh at yourself, but you’ll also have so much fun.

11. Think about something exciting.

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Find at least one thing that you are looking forward to and focus on that. It’ll make your day a lot better knowing that better things are coming to you very soon.

12. Play with puppies.

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If you don’t have your own dog, go to a pet store or shelter and go play with or pet some dogs! Dogs instantly put people in a good mood because they are just so cute and friendly! If you’re not a dog person, choose another animal to go play with!

13. Volunteer.

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If you have some extra time, go find a volunteer opportunity. Making other people happy will give you a lot of great feelings. Essentially, helping others become happy will make you happy as well.

14. Finish a project you’ve been putting off.

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It always feels great to finish something, so if you’ve been procrastinating on a hobby or project, go finish it! Even if you’re busy, try to make some time to get it done.

15. Just smile. 

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This one may sound silly, but smiling alone can change your mood, even in the slightest way. Try to smile throughout the day, and smile at others as well, because you never know who else is also having a bad day!

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