Expectations vs. Realities: The Life Of A Twenty-Something

Standard

Life in your twenties is filled with a variety of emotions and experiences due to the fact that this is when adulthood truly comes into play. But the thing is, we don’t actually know how to be an adult until we do adult things. But the other thing is, we tend to go into our twenties with certain expectations, yet we come to realize that reality doesn’t quite match up to our expectations:

Career:

Expectation: Getting your dream job off the bat and being super happy about it.

Reality: Realizing that searching for a job is like trying to find your way out of a corn maze; you confidently walk in, then get excited when you turn a corner and see an opening, then you come to find that there’s actually more corn in your path, so you’re stuck. (Yeah, I know, it’s a great visual representation)

How to deal with the reality: It’s tough, but you have to keep trying. You can’t give up that soon because who wants to be stranded in the middle of a corn maze? Keep on keeping on and things will fall into place eventually. You might have to start with a job you don’t like, but by enduring a bad job, you’ll be able to build up your skills for your dream job.

Social Life:

Expectation: You feel like you’re still young enough to party whenever you want just like you did in college.

Reality: It’s somewhat socially unacceptable for a twenty-something to party as much as a college student, plus your alcohol tolerance is slowly but surely getting lower.

How to deal with the reality: This doesn’t mean that you can’t party at all, you just need to tone it down a bit and act more mature. You’ll also come to find that there are so many other fun things you can do with your friends that don’t involve getting wasted every weekend. Go be an adult socialite!

Health:

Expectation: You’re an adult now, so no one can tell you what not to eat.

Reality: You realize how important your health is and you realize that you should probably do something about it.

How to deal with the reality: It’s honestly not that hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Eat more fruits and vegetables and workout more. It doesn’t have to be this huge burden that takes over your life; just slowly incorporate healthiness into your life and it will soon stick with you. Go be a healthy adult!

Relationships:

Expectation: Since you’re in your twenties, you automatically need to find the person that you’re going to marry; time is running out!

Reality: It’s still okay to casually date people in your twenties.

How to deal with the reality: Don’t worry so much about finding the person you’re going to marry! It’s perfectly okay to go out on dates with people in order to figure out what type of person you want in your life. You’re still young, whether you believe it or not, which means you have plenty of time to find your husband/wife. If you happen to find that person in your twenties, more power to you! But it’s okay if you don’t!

Friendships:

Expectation: You’ll continue being friends with everyone you met in college and it’ll be great!

Reality: You will not be able to maintain every single friendship that you have made in college/in life in general.

How to deal with the reality: You have to realize that each friend you make won’t be a friend for life. You will have some amazing and special people who will definitely be in your life forever, but that can’t always be everyone. People get busy and move on with their lives, because that’s what happens when you get older. Appreciate the friends that have stuck with you and be open to new friendships, because you can definitely make new friends no matter how old you are!

Quote Of The Day:

Why Soulmates Don’t Exist

Standard

I was watching an episode of Friends last night (as I typically do), the episode where Phoebe finds Monica’s “soulmate”, even though Monica and Chandler are married. Despite Chandler’s nervousness about the situation, Monica told him that she doesn’t believe in soulmates. She said that her and Chandler aren’t soulmates; they fell in love by choice, and they work hard at their relationship. Many might agree with the idea of soulmates, but I personally fall into the disbelief of such a concept.

It’s hard to believe that there is a person out there who is perfectly made to be your “other half”. You would spend your whole life searching for this specific person, if that were true. I believe that there are people out there with whom you can connect with or have a lot of things in common with. I think that’s the closest you can get to the idea of a soulmate. But despite similarities to another person, you are still very different from each other, which is why falling in love can be such a wonderful thing. You can pick up on each other’s imperfections, and you can help each other get through tough times. Relationships take a lot of hard work, just as Monica stated.

If the idea of soulmates was true, then people wouldn’t necessarily have to work as hard in relationships. The word “soulmate” reflects the idea that the other person was made just for you. If this was real, then, if you found that person, they would fit into your life with no complications because they would have everything that you have ever dreamed about. What’s the point of getting what you want if you can’t work for it? There’s no passion there whatsoever.

So stop spending so much time trying to find your perfect match. Chances are, that person doesn’t necessarily exist. Now, this isn’t a negative statement, but rather a declaration of reality. If you meet someone whom you become fond of, don’t hold back just because they’re different than your dream partner. Don’t hold back just because you have a gut feeling that they’re not your “soulmate”. If you work hard enough at a relationship with that person, it will soon feel like they’re that person you’ve been “searching for” this whole time.

Relationships are complex and frustrating, but giving up is not an option. Let things happen naturally, and life will be a lot more satisfying. Whoever you fall in love with is the person that you worked hard to be with. Never forget that.

Quote Of The Day: