Expectations vs. Realities: The Life Of A Twenty-Something

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Life in your twenties is filled with a variety of emotions and experiences due to the fact that this is when adulthood truly comes into play. But the thing is, we don’t actually know how to be an adult until we do adult things. But the other thing is, we tend to go into our twenties with certain expectations, yet we come to realize that reality doesn’t quite match up to our expectations:

Career:

Expectation: Getting your dream job off the bat and being super happy about it.

Reality: Realizing that searching for a job is like trying to find your way out of a corn maze; you confidently walk in, then get excited when you turn a corner and see an opening, then you come to find that there’s actually more corn in your path, so you’re stuck. (Yeah, I know, it’s a great visual representation)

How to deal with the reality: It’s tough, but you have to keep trying. You can’t give up that soon because who wants to be stranded in the middle of a corn maze? Keep on keeping on and things will fall into place eventually. You might have to start with a job you don’t like, but by enduring a bad job, you’ll be able to build up your skills for your dream job.

Social Life:

Expectation: You feel like you’re still young enough to party whenever you want just like you did in college.

Reality: It’s somewhat socially unacceptable for a twenty-something to party as much as a college student, plus your alcohol tolerance is slowly but surely getting lower.

How to deal with the reality: This doesn’t mean that you can’t party at all, you just need to tone it down a bit and act more mature. You’ll also come to find that there are so many other fun things you can do with your friends that don’t involve getting wasted every weekend. Go be an adult socialite!

Health:

Expectation: You’re an adult now, so no one can tell you what not to eat.

Reality: You realize how important your health is and you realize that you should probably do something about it.

How to deal with the reality: It’s honestly not that hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Eat more fruits and vegetables and workout more. It doesn’t have to be this huge burden that takes over your life; just slowly incorporate healthiness into your life and it will soon stick with you. Go be a healthy adult!

Relationships:

Expectation: Since you’re in your twenties, you automatically need to find the person that you’re going to marry; time is running out!

Reality: It’s still okay to casually date people in your twenties.

How to deal with the reality: Don’t worry so much about finding the person you’re going to marry! It’s perfectly okay to go out on dates with people in order to figure out what type of person you want in your life. You’re still young, whether you believe it or not, which means you have plenty of time to find your husband/wife. If you happen to find that person in your twenties, more power to you! But it’s okay if you don’t!

Friendships:

Expectation: You’ll continue being friends with everyone you met in college and it’ll be great!

Reality: You will not be able to maintain every single friendship that you have made in college/in life in general.

How to deal with the reality: You have to realize that each friend you make won’t be a friend for life. You will have some amazing and special people who will definitely be in your life forever, but that can’t always be everyone. People get busy and move on with their lives, because that’s what happens when you get older. Appreciate the friends that have stuck with you and be open to new friendships, because you can definitely make new friends no matter how old you are!

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Dating Is A Game Of Chance

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Think of your life as a metaphorical game board. Each day, you roll the dice to see what impending situation will occur. You never know what will happen because it’s impossible to predict anything that happens in your life. You might have to conquer some obstacles some days, and other days you might get to lay back and relax with a nice alcoholic beverage of choice (assuming you are of age). Just like games, you never know your outcome of a situation until you get there and see what happens.

Narrowing life down even more, dating is a game in itself. Now, we typically don’t like to “play games”, in the immature sense, when it comes to dating, but the dating process is comparable to a game. Think about slot machines for a second. Yes, I know, your mind automatically jumps to Vegas and now you’re thinking all kinds of things, but just bear with me for a second. Slot machines are pure luck and chance, you don’t really have much control over what turns up on the machine. The same thing goes with dating. Dating is a game of chance because you never know who you’re going to meet and you never know what is going to happen. For instance, you can meet someone and think that it might turn into something, but then you realize they’re a dud after the first date. Or, you can be in a relationship with someone and think that they’re the one, and it might not even work out in the end.

These situations aren’t meant to be seen as anything negative, but rather, they should give you realizations about how life works. You can’t just give up after a bad relationship, and you can’t just swear off dating after one bad date. You have to get back in the game, and fight for your chance to win, because who doesn’t like winning games? Dating isn’t as simple as black and white because each person you encounter is going to be different from the last one and the next one. But this is what makes dating exciting! New experiences and new people can teach you many lessons about the dating world as a whole.

So, as you roll your dice for the day, don’t wish for anything to happen, don’t try to predict what will happen, just let things play out as they are meant to. Don’t waste your time worrying about all the bad dates or relationships you’ve been through. Just push all that aside, and see what pops up next on your metaphorical dating slot machine. You’ll be a winner someday. (If all else fails, move to Vegas).

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What Type Of Flirt Are You?

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Ah, flirting, a fun little activity that can also be ever-so frightening for some people. We all have different ways of showing people that we are interested in them, but there’s no scientific proof that one way of flirting is better than another. It all depends on the person and the situation. Your type of flirting may work on one person, but you might be pushed away by someone else. It’s a game of chance, luck, and a little bit of determination. Here are 5 very common types of flirts that exist:

Sarcastic Flirt

You use various levels of sarcasm and sometimes light-hearted insults to subtly, yet so obviously hint that you’re interested. This type of flirting can be especially fun because it can turn into a game of who can be more sarcastic. This can often initiate quick bonding and can set you on a path of possibilities. Hey, maybe someday you’ll both get married and have sarcastic babies who will carry on the chain of beautiful sarcasm.

Pros: You give off your personality and sense of humor right off the bat. This is important because you’re not trying too hard and you’re just being yourself. You also aren’t being extremely forward with the other person, which is good because you don’t want to come off too strong and scare them away.

Cons: If the person you’re flirting with doesn’t pick up on sarcasm very well, then you’re completely out of luck. You might even end up offending someone, which is the polar opposite of your original intentions.

Drunk Flirt

You have a fine appreciation for the existence of liquid courage. You’re that person who, after several shots of vodka (or tequila, if you roll like that), walks (or stumbles) up to the hottie at the bar without even really thinking about it. You’re not afraid to be completely blunt about how attracted you are to them and you even feel bold enough to rest a hand on their shoulder. You might be slurring a bit, but you always say exactly what you want to say.

Pros: You use every part of your confidence without even having the time to be nervous about it. This is an extremely powerful tactic because you’ll never miss out on the opportunity to meet someone new. The string of compliments that you unleash can be wonderfully satisfying.

Cons: You sometimes might come off as a sloppy drunk, which isn’t very attractive to any decent human being. If you get too drunk, your flirting might be considered an annoyance instead of a means of endearment.

“One Of The Boys” Flirt

You tend to have a lot of guy friends because you enjoy doing the typical things that they do together. Whether it’s madly yelling at the TV set during a football game, or participating in a beer chugging contest, you get along with guys very well. You use your ability to relate to them in order to get close to them. This isn’t very difficult for you because it just comes naturally.

Pros: A lot of guys appreciate girls who share similar interests to them because they sometimes find it to be a rare quality. You also are showing interest simply by being you, which is an awesome lead-in to dating someone. You typically feel more comfortable than other girls when you’re around guys, which is a huge plus.

Cons: You are easily put into the friendzone because of your laid-back approach to flirting. He might be quick to just consider you to be another one of his buddies instead of a potential girlfriend. Sometimes he also might not get the hint that you like him because it’s not always completely obvious.

Overly Confident Flirt

You put yourself out there and you don’t give a damn about the consequences. You have no problem talking to a person of interest and you don’t care about being completely obvious about your intentions. Even if you get shut down, you just keep moving on to your next possible mate. You love using various flirting techniques because it gives you a chance to test out what works best.

Pros: You have that similar wonderful power as a drunk flirt, except a bonus is that you are completely sober. The person you’re flirting with can potentially appreciate your fearlessness, which can slide you into success.

Cons: It’s possible to be TOO confident. Excessive amounts of confidence can come off as cockiness, which no one really likes. You also might come off way too strong sometimes, which ultimately won’t help you get what you want.

Social Media Maven Flirt

You are a pro at discreetly, yet noticeably, ‘liking’ your crush’s photos on Facebook, leaving witty comments on their Instagram pictures, and tweeting them an appropriately flirty message in 140 characters or less. You are also probably a specialist at flirting through text messages. You aren’t scared to message them first because hey, you got this.

Pros: You take the time to think about what you’re going to say to someone through a text or a Facebook message, which allows you to send something quite pristine. This can greatly impress the other person and make them want to continue talking to you.

Cons: Because you are used to taking the time to think about what to say, it might be hard for you to transition your flirting into the real world. You are probably a little more nervous when you’re talking to your crush in person, which can cause awkwardness and mixed signals.

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How To Be A Less Cynical And More Positive Single Person On Valentine’s Day

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It’s that time of the year again when people are shelling out money for flowers, chocolates, cheesy greeting cards, expensive gifts, and fancy dinners. It’s also that time of year when the majority of single people in the world get cranky, annoyed, upset, and/or angry. This set of emotions tends to happen because they either wish they had someone to share Valentine’s Day with, they’re jealous of the couples who are celebrating, they hate the whole idea of Valentine’s Day, or a combination of two or more of these things.

What makes single people act so cynical toward Valentine’s Day? Sure, many would say that it’s a manufactured holiday that just gives Hallmark and other companies a jump up in revenue, but it’s also a day that is special to some people. There are many different things you can do to be a happier single person on Valentine’s Day.

If you are one of those people who are so focused on Valentine’s Day and you wish you had someone to spend the holiday with, there are plenty of things you can do to distract yourself. You can spend that time hanging out with your other single friends, and do something fun and exciting. If you are in a situation where you’ll be alone on Valentine’s Day, don’t be afraid! You can be your own Valentine! As lame as this sounds, it’s actually nice to treat yourself to anything you want. Go out and buy yourself chocolates and nice wine. Put in some comedic DVDs (not romantic ones that will make you cry!) and laugh as loud as you want. Spending Valentine’s Day without a special someone does not have to be as pathetic as you make it out to be. Treat yoself!

If you’re someone who easily gets jealous of all the posts on Facebook that people share about what their significant other got them/did for them on Valentine’s Day, I have one simple solution: STOP LOOKING. Force yourself to stay off all social media for that whole day, and distract yourself with better things. If you don’t want to see all the lovey-dovey couples out on Valentine’s Day, then go buy yourself something nice and have a fun night in to yourself, or with friends. Stop inserting yourself into situations that will make you feel worse about being single!

If you’re the ultimate Valentine’s Day cynic who despises this holiday and trashes it along with whoever celebrates it, you need to stop. Just because you think the holiday is stupid, doesn’t mean that people who celebrate it are stupid. Some people look forward to celebrating Valentine’s Day, and you shouldn’t let that bother you and your opinions. Let people do what they want, because everyone has different views on this day. Don’t put anyone down for the way they celebrate. You do you, they’ll do them, and that’s how it’s supposed to be!

All in all, you have to understand that it’s perfectly okay to be single. Whether you treat Valentine’s Day as just another day, or if you acknowledge it as a holiday, you’re the same person on February 14th as you are on any other day. Valentine’s Day isn’t meant for kicking single people to the curb while the happy couples rejoice. It’s a day where you should appreciate everyone in your life, regardless of your relationship status. You’ll feel a whole lot better if you don’t let Valentine’s Day affect you in a negative way.

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10 Ways To Make The Most Out Of Senior Year Of College

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Senior year of college can be a stressful time. Not only are you trying to figure out your fast approaching future, but you’re also dreading the fact that you have to leave all these wonderful friends you made over the years. Even though senior year is scary, it can also be your best year of college if you let it be.

1. Get involved in as many activities as you can. Join a school organization that you’ve always wanted to join, or even try something new that is out of your comfort zone. Make the most out of the last of your college experience!

2. Spend as much time with friends as possible. This is especially important if you are your friends are all going separate ways after graduation. You want to spend a lot of time with them so that way you’ll stay close friends after school is done.

3. Stop worrying about the little things. If you spend too much time worrying about every little thing, you’re using up valuable time. Instead, focus on all the good things in life and take advantage of them.

4. Party it up. Get all your college-style partying in NOW because you’re just going to look like an idiot if you do it after college. If you don’t like to party/drink, have your own kind of party with something you enjoy. Have a movie night, with lots of pizza and too many cookies, and sit under a blanket fort. GO WILD!

5. Explore. Go with your friends and find at least one new place that you have never been before. Even if your college is surrounded by nothing exciting, attempt to find something and make it exciting. You know you’re going to miss that place when you leave.

6. Don’t get too stressed about your classes. You have more important things to focus on! But at the same time, don’t let senioritis take over to the point of not even wanting to try. Find a balance and stick with it!

7. Let go of any people who are negatively affecting your life. This is the time when you can finally realize who should be in your life and who shouldn’t be. Don’t stick with people who are just going to bring you down. It’s not only a waste of time, but it also gives you unnecessary problems.

8. Don’t freak out about your post-graduation plans. I know this is tough to follow, but if you get overly panicked about your future, you won’t be able to calm down enough to actually focus. Just know that basically every senior in college goes through the same thing, and you’re not alone. You’ll figure it out soon enough.

9. Immerse yourself in things that you love doing. Whether you have a hobby that you enjoy, or a certain activity, do as much of it as you can. It’s really important to enjoy yourself because that will make you happy. Plus, you’ll have more free time now than you will after college, so use it up!

10. Just be you. By now, you’ve pretty much found yourself for the most part, so don’t ever try to be someone that you’re not. Go through life day to day and be as true to yourself as you can be. You’ll feel so much happier by just simply being yourself.

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Why It’s Okay To “Play The Field”

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A girl who dates around a lot is typically called a whore, while a guy who does this is called a player. We stereotype these people as serial daters, making them sound like killers, which is a bit extreme. If you don’t truly hurt anyone in the process of “playing the field” should it actually be considered taboo?

If you’re not committed to anyone, you’re completely free to date whoever you would like to date. Whether you don’t want to be tied down, or you just want to explore your options, dating around is a great way to find out what type of person is right for you. It allows you to get to know a variety of people in the world, and maybe you will be able find your match during this process.

In this generation, relationships are formed faster than the snap of a rubber band. Typically, a couple becomes “official” after only a couple weeks of dating. We have become a fast paced society, so this seems normal to us, but is it actually healthy? When we jump into a relationship, we are faced with difficulties because we learn more about the other person that we didn’t have time to learn beforehand. It makes me wonder what dating was like years ago, when a boy would ask a girl to go steady, only after giving himself the proper amount of time to know if she was the one. I’m sure relationships still had their flaws back then, but maybe they were still stronger.

Going on various dates can help you see what’s out there, rather than shutting yourself out because of one person who seems perfect at the time. Sure, you’ll eventually have to choose someone out of all these people that you meet, but that doesn’t mean you should choose the first person you lay your eyes on. Even if you just go on a few different dates, you can let yourself see the differences in people, and you can learn more about yourself too. You can learn about what you’re actually looking for and see what specific things you like about people.

I think “playing the field” has such a bad reputation surrounding it because of the way society has defined it. Society thinks that it means sleeping around, or even being unfaithful, but it doesn’t have to have those meanings at all, as long as you are doing it in a classy manner. You don’t have to commit yourself to someone right off the bat just because you think they have potential. Look around, and you could possibly find someone else with even more potential.

Think of it as a metaphorical representation of a soccer field. If you’re on offense, you’re not just standing in one spot the whole time, because that wouldn’t do anything for you. You’re running up and down the field trying to accomplish a goal. Ahem, “playing the field”. If you’re just sticking to one person before attempting to meet other people, you might not reach your goal.

There are many exceptions to this, so this is why I’m not forcefully telling you that you should play the field or else you’re going to fail in life. I’m just saying that it’s perfectly normal and perfectly okay to explore your options, especially if you’re unsure about being with someone. If you meet someone and you truly know from the bottom of your heart that he/she is the one, then okay, go for it! But don’t look at the people who play the field and automatically pull a red flag on them. They just choose to spend more time searching for that special person.

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Taylor Swift Songs That Will Put You In A Good Mood

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Taylor Swift is the queen of angry and sad breakup songs, but she is also wonderful at releasing songs dealing with new beginnings and positivity. I decided to look through all the Taylor songs that I own (a lot of songs….like over 100!) and post the ones that I feel best give off an upbeat/positive vibe. Whether you’re a fan of hers or not, at least take a listen to some of these:

Begin Again:

Begin Again is all about starting a new relationship after you’ve been trying to move on from your ex. It reflects the wonderful feelings you can get once you let go and try something new with someone else.

Hey Stephen:

Hey Stephen is a song that you would totally sing to that cute boy you have a crush on. He may have all these girls pining after him but hey, you’re totally positive that you’re the one for him.

Change:

Change is a great song because you can relate it to almost anything you’re going through. If you’re going through a rough time just know that “these things will change” and times will get better.

Fearless:

Fearless is another song about starting new with someone. Being “fearless” with someone means to let go and dive in and see how wonderful it can be.

Jump Then Fall:

Jump Then Fall reflects a song about liking a guy and telling him that he doesn’t have to be afraid of any consequences of falling for you. This can also reflect the idea that you shouldn’t be afraid of falling for someone just because you’re afraid of getting hurt. You just go for it and see what happens!

22:

22 is a great song to dance to with your friends because it’s all about having fun and not having a care in the world. This song is especially awesome to jam out to if you’re a single lady because it’ll make you just want to appreciate your life and not worry about anything.

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together:

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together is a wonderful song for someone who has recently gone through a breakup and is like, soo done. Not only is it a fun song to dance to, but it’s one of those breakup songs that doesn’t make you want to cry, but instead makes you smile and sing a long.

Everything Has Changed:

Everything Has Changed not only features the beautiful voice of Ed Sheeran, but it also contains lyrics about finding someone new. It marks those first feelings you have when you start to fall for someone and how amazing it truly is.

Mean:

Mean is a song you can jam out to when you want to tell the haters what’s up. It reflects the fact that there are going to be people out there who may not like you or appreciate you, but you shouldn’t care because you are going to do great things in life, while those people waste their time putting you down.

Long Live:

Long Live can be interpreted in many different ways, but I feel like it has an overall vibe to it. Taylor wrote it specifically about her fans, and how grateful she is for all the experiences she has had going on tour and becoming successful with her music. It just has a great feel to it and can instantly brighten your mood.

Sweeter Than Fiction:

Sweeter Than Fiction was a song that Taylor wrote for a movie, and isn’t very well known by everyone, but I still think it’s an amazing song. It’s about someone who struggles to find someone to believe in them, and keeps on failing at what they’re trying to pursue, but should keep on trying, because eventually they’ll make it. It’s a great motivational song for anyone who is trying to work hard towards something.

Shake It Off:

Shake It Off is not only a fun song to dance around your room to, but it also just makes you feel good in general. It’s basically about not caring what the haters (or anyone) thinks of you because you know you’re awesome. Just shake it off!

Blank Space:

Blank Space is a fun song because in it, Taylor is essentially making fun of herself for being known as a serial dater, and she is telling the next guy that she’ll add his name to her list of ex lovers. Whether you relate to this insanity or not, it’s a great song to listen to when you want to just sing and be in a better mood.

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