Say No To Normality: A Poem

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Deviation

Why stay in a solid confining bottle,

When there’s more breathing room on the outside?

Why try to blend into the colors of the world,

When you can brand your own shade of charisma?

Why keep your precious thoughts out of the light,

When you can unleash a storm of empowering insight?

Why not contrast against the rest,

When conformity brings you to your knees?

Why not be a creative innovation,

When everyone else is a replication?

Why not just be you,

When there is no one else to be?

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Expectations vs. Realities: The Life Of A Twenty-Something

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Life in your twenties is filled with a variety of emotions and experiences due to the fact that this is when adulthood truly comes into play. But the thing is, we don’t actually know how to be an adult until we do adult things. But the other thing is, we tend to go into our twenties with certain expectations, yet we come to realize that reality doesn’t quite match up to our expectations:

Career:

Expectation: Getting your dream job off the bat and being super happy about it.

Reality: Realizing that searching for a job is like trying to find your way out of a corn maze; you confidently walk in, then get excited when you turn a corner and see an opening, then you come to find that there’s actually more corn in your path, so you’re stuck. (Yeah, I know, it’s a great visual representation)

How to deal with the reality: It’s tough, but you have to keep trying. You can’t give up that soon because who wants to be stranded in the middle of a corn maze? Keep on keeping on and things will fall into place eventually. You might have to start with a job you don’t like, but by enduring a bad job, you’ll be able to build up your skills for your dream job.

Social Life:

Expectation: You feel like you’re still young enough to party whenever you want just like you did in college.

Reality: It’s somewhat socially unacceptable for a twenty-something to party as much as a college student, plus your alcohol tolerance is slowly but surely getting lower.

How to deal with the reality: This doesn’t mean that you can’t party at all, you just need to tone it down a bit and act more mature. You’ll also come to find that there are so many other fun things you can do with your friends that don’t involve getting wasted every weekend. Go be an adult socialite!

Health:

Expectation: You’re an adult now, so no one can tell you what not to eat.

Reality: You realize how important your health is and you realize that you should probably do something about it.

How to deal with the reality: It’s honestly not that hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Eat more fruits and vegetables and workout more. It doesn’t have to be this huge burden that takes over your life; just slowly incorporate healthiness into your life and it will soon stick with you. Go be a healthy adult!

Relationships:

Expectation: Since you’re in your twenties, you automatically need to find the person that you’re going to marry; time is running out!

Reality: It’s still okay to casually date people in your twenties.

How to deal with the reality: Don’t worry so much about finding the person you’re going to marry! It’s perfectly okay to go out on dates with people in order to figure out what type of person you want in your life. You’re still young, whether you believe it or not, which means you have plenty of time to find your husband/wife. If you happen to find that person in your twenties, more power to you! But it’s okay if you don’t!

Friendships:

Expectation: You’ll continue being friends with everyone you met in college and it’ll be great!

Reality: You will not be able to maintain every single friendship that you have made in college/in life in general.

How to deal with the reality: You have to realize that each friend you make won’t be a friend for life. You will have some amazing and special people who will definitely be in your life forever, but that can’t always be everyone. People get busy and move on with their lives, because that’s what happens when you get older. Appreciate the friends that have stuck with you and be open to new friendships, because you can definitely make new friends no matter how old you are!

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Dating Is A Game Of Chance

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Think of your life as a metaphorical game board. Each day, you roll the dice to see what impending situation will occur. You never know what will happen because it’s impossible to predict anything that happens in your life. You might have to conquer some obstacles some days, and other days you might get to lay back and relax with a nice alcoholic beverage of choice (assuming you are of age). Just like games, you never know your outcome of a situation until you get there and see what happens.

Narrowing life down even more, dating is a game in itself. Now, we typically don’t like to “play games”, in the immature sense, when it comes to dating, but the dating process is comparable to a game. Think about slot machines for a second. Yes, I know, your mind automatically jumps to Vegas and now you’re thinking all kinds of things, but just bear with me for a second. Slot machines are pure luck and chance, you don’t really have much control over what turns up on the machine. The same thing goes with dating. Dating is a game of chance because you never know who you’re going to meet and you never know what is going to happen. For instance, you can meet someone and think that it might turn into something, but then you realize they’re a dud after the first date. Or, you can be in a relationship with someone and think that they’re the one, and it might not even work out in the end.

These situations aren’t meant to be seen as anything negative, but rather, they should give you realizations about how life works. You can’t just give up after a bad relationship, and you can’t just swear off dating after one bad date. You have to get back in the game, and fight for your chance to win, because who doesn’t like winning games? Dating isn’t as simple as black and white because each person you encounter is going to be different from the last one and the next one. But this is what makes dating exciting! New experiences and new people can teach you many lessons about the dating world as a whole.

So, as you roll your dice for the day, don’t wish for anything to happen, don’t try to predict what will happen, just let things play out as they are meant to. Don’t waste your time worrying about all the bad dates or relationships you’ve been through. Just push all that aside, and see what pops up next on your metaphorical dating slot machine. You’ll be a winner someday. (If all else fails, move to Vegas).

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10 Things You Learn In College Outside The Classroom

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College is first seen as a time of studying hard and working towards a career. While this is accurate, the overall college experience gives people the opportunity to learn more than just what they read in textbooks. College students learn all these extra little things without even realizing it. Here are some of the things that they learn:

1. How to find true friends. This lesson usually doesn’t come right off the bat because when you’re starting out as a freshman, everyone is new and everyone wants to hang out. But over the years, you come to find who is truly your friend and who is not. College allows you to differentiate between a true friend and a fake friend, which is something that develops with time.

2. How to have a stable relationship. College relationships are way more serious than they are in high school. If you go through some crappy relationships during college, you are able to learn what you can do differently in future relationships in order to make them more stable. If you have secured yourself in a serious relationship in college, you learn how to maintain it, and throughout the relationship, you learn how to make it better. College is a time for maturing, and understanding how to resolve conflict with others.

3. How to have fun. Even though you have to be serious when it comes to classwork, college is a time for going out and doing fun things. You learn that it’s perfectly okay to give yourself a break once in awhile, because having fun is a crucial part of life.

4. How to take care of yourself. This refers to many different aspects of taking care of yourself, from learning how to essentially live on your own, to eating well and exercising. Usually freshman year, you don’t care much about eating healthy and getting enough sleep, but over the years you realize how important these things are.

5. How to be responsible. Responsibility is a huge part of college because not only are you responsible for getting your homework done in time, but you also have outside responsibilities that come along with your independence. As more responsibilities get thrown on you throughout the years, you learn how to be a more organized individual.

6. How to work with others. You’ve been taught at a young age how to work with others, but it really sinks in during college. This is mainly because you get stuck doing group projects and working with people who you might not get along with. Being put in situations like these allow you to become more mature, and learn how to work with people who are different from you.

7. How to try new things. College is a time where new opportunities fly at you from every angle. Being in a new place on your own allows you to branch out a bit more than you’re used to. This is a good thing because it opens you up to new interests and new things that you might have never even tried before.

8. How to ask for help. During your college years, you come to realize that it’s perfectly okay to ask for help when you’re lost or confused. This can range from getting help on schoolwork to getting help with personal problems. This is something you learn because you’re maturing and realizing that getting help isn’t a bad thing, it’s only another thing that contributes to your growth.

9. How to be involved. Colleges have so many different organizations that you’re bound to have found at least one that you belong to. This involvement gives you some experiences that you might not have had without college. It also helps you meet new people who are interested in similar things to you, and sometimes these people can become your life-long friends.

10. How to find yourself. Essentially, college is the time in your life where you find out what you want to do in your future. With that, comes finding yourself. During college, you’ll sometimes lose yourself during your journey, and you might not have even completely found yourself by the time you graduate. But this doesn’t mean that you will never find yourself. You can take everything you’ve learned in college and apply it to your life, while continuing on your journey after graduation.

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10 Ways To Make The Most Out Of Senior Year Of College

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Senior year of college can be a stressful time. Not only are you trying to figure out your fast approaching future, but you’re also dreading the fact that you have to leave all these wonderful friends you made over the years. Even though senior year is scary, it can also be your best year of college if you let it be.

1. Get involved in as many activities as you can. Join a school organization that you’ve always wanted to join, or even try something new that is out of your comfort zone. Make the most out of the last of your college experience!

2. Spend as much time with friends as possible. This is especially important if you are your friends are all going separate ways after graduation. You want to spend a lot of time with them so that way you’ll stay close friends after school is done.

3. Stop worrying about the little things. If you spend too much time worrying about every little thing, you’re using up valuable time. Instead, focus on all the good things in life and take advantage of them.

4. Party it up. Get all your college-style partying in NOW because you’re just going to look like an idiot if you do it after college. If you don’t like to party/drink, have your own kind of party with something you enjoy. Have a movie night, with lots of pizza and too many cookies, and sit under a blanket fort. GO WILD!

5. Explore. Go with your friends and find at least one new place that you have never been before. Even if your college is surrounded by nothing exciting, attempt to find something and make it exciting. You know you’re going to miss that place when you leave.

6. Don’t get too stressed about your classes. You have more important things to focus on! But at the same time, don’t let senioritis take over to the point of not even wanting to try. Find a balance and stick with it!

7. Let go of any people who are negatively affecting your life. This is the time when you can finally realize who should be in your life and who shouldn’t be. Don’t stick with people who are just going to bring you down. It’s not only a waste of time, but it also gives you unnecessary problems.

8. Don’t freak out about your post-graduation plans. I know this is tough to follow, but if you get overly panicked about your future, you won’t be able to calm down enough to actually focus. Just know that basically every senior in college goes through the same thing, and you’re not alone. You’ll figure it out soon enough.

9. Immerse yourself in things that you love doing. Whether you have a hobby that you enjoy, or a certain activity, do as much of it as you can. It’s really important to enjoy yourself because that will make you happy. Plus, you’ll have more free time now than you will after college, so use it up!

10. Just be you. By now, you’ve pretty much found yourself for the most part, so don’t ever try to be someone that you’re not. Go through life day to day and be as true to yourself as you can be. You’ll feel so much happier by just simply being yourself.

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Taylor Swift Songs That Will Put You In A Good Mood

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Taylor Swift is the queen of angry and sad breakup songs, but she is also wonderful at releasing songs dealing with new beginnings and positivity. I decided to look through all the Taylor songs that I own (a lot of songs….like over 100!) and post the ones that I feel best give off an upbeat/positive vibe. Whether you’re a fan of hers or not, at least take a listen to some of these:

Begin Again:

Begin Again is all about starting a new relationship after you’ve been trying to move on from your ex. It reflects the wonderful feelings you can get once you let go and try something new with someone else.

Hey Stephen:

Hey Stephen is a song that you would totally sing to that cute boy you have a crush on. He may have all these girls pining after him but hey, you’re totally positive that you’re the one for him.

Change:

Change is a great song because you can relate it to almost anything you’re going through. If you’re going through a rough time just know that “these things will change” and times will get better.

Fearless:

Fearless is another song about starting new with someone. Being “fearless” with someone means to let go and dive in and see how wonderful it can be.

Jump Then Fall:

Jump Then Fall reflects a song about liking a guy and telling him that he doesn’t have to be afraid of any consequences of falling for you. This can also reflect the idea that you shouldn’t be afraid of falling for someone just because you’re afraid of getting hurt. You just go for it and see what happens!

22:

22 is a great song to dance to with your friends because it’s all about having fun and not having a care in the world. This song is especially awesome to jam out to if you’re a single lady because it’ll make you just want to appreciate your life and not worry about anything.

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together:

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together is a wonderful song for someone who has recently gone through a breakup and is like, soo done. Not only is it a fun song to dance to, but it’s one of those breakup songs that doesn’t make you want to cry, but instead makes you smile and sing a long.

Everything Has Changed:

Everything Has Changed not only features the beautiful voice of Ed Sheeran, but it also contains lyrics about finding someone new. It marks those first feelings you have when you start to fall for someone and how amazing it truly is.

Mean:

Mean is a song you can jam out to when you want to tell the haters what’s up. It reflects the fact that there are going to be people out there who may not like you or appreciate you, but you shouldn’t care because you are going to do great things in life, while those people waste their time putting you down.

Long Live:

Long Live can be interpreted in many different ways, but I feel like it has an overall vibe to it. Taylor wrote it specifically about her fans, and how grateful she is for all the experiences she has had going on tour and becoming successful with her music. It just has a great feel to it and can instantly brighten your mood.

Sweeter Than Fiction:

Sweeter Than Fiction was a song that Taylor wrote for a movie, and isn’t very well known by everyone, but I still think it’s an amazing song. It’s about someone who struggles to find someone to believe in them, and keeps on failing at what they’re trying to pursue, but should keep on trying, because eventually they’ll make it. It’s a great motivational song for anyone who is trying to work hard towards something.

Shake It Off:

Shake It Off is not only a fun song to dance around your room to, but it also just makes you feel good in general. It’s basically about not caring what the haters (or anyone) thinks of you because you know you’re awesome. Just shake it off!

Blank Space:

Blank Space is a fun song because in it, Taylor is essentially making fun of herself for being known as a serial dater, and she is telling the next guy that she’ll add his name to her list of ex lovers. Whether you relate to this insanity or not, it’s a great song to listen to when you want to just sing and be in a better mood.

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Why You Shouldn’t Hate Your Ex’s Significant Other

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After a breakup, it can be tough moving on, and it’s even more tough trying to deal with the idea of your ex being with someone else. Once your ex starts dating someone else, your immediate reactions are:

1. “What?! How did he/she move on so soon?!”

2. “Omg their new gf/bf is so ugly!”

3. “HAHAHA he/she totally downgraded from me!”

4. “Lol, she/he has to put up with him/her now, sucks to be them.”

You see a trend here? Putting down your ex’s new flame might make you feel better in the moment, but in reality, you probably shouldn’t be doing that. In most cases, the new flame didn’t do anything to personally hurt you. Heck, chances are they might not even know you. Even though you aren’t saying these things to their face, the idea of it all is still morally repulsive. Putting someone else down just to boost your own self esteem will only result in self destruction.

Your ex is the one who chose to date someone else, so ultimately, you were hurt by them, and not by their significant other. I’m not saying you should hate your ex (because you shouldn’t hate anyone really), but I’m saying that it’s not worth it to sit there picking out the physical flaws of the new person they’re dating because it’s a waste of time. You should instead be finding ways to move on and better yourself.

It’s always tempting to creep on your ex’s Facebook (if they haven’t blocked you) or creep on his/her gf/bf, but you could be using that time more productively. You’ll just keep feeling resentment and sadness if you keep looking on their pages, so what is the actual point of looking? Do you really want to keep reminding yourself of the situation? NO! So here are some steps you can take:

1. Block your ex and his/her significant other from EVERY social media site. If they haven’t already blocked you, block them from everything ASAP so you won’t be tempted to look at anything they’re doing. Also block their number while you’re at it, because why not.

2. Stop thinking about your ex. This is easier said than done, but it is possible. You just have to immerse yourself in activities that you enjoy, such as spending time with friends, in order to keep your mind busy.

3. Understand that you will also find someone new someday, on your own time. You’ll find someone new when you’re ready, and when the time is right. Don’t worry so much about competing with your ex by trying to upgrade to a better person. Take it slow, and wait until you find someone who treats you right and who you are content with.

4. Learn how to be happy on your own before dating again. You should never live life counting on someone else to complete your happiness. Only YOU can make YOU happy, and you need to remember that.

Also just remember this: people move on, because that’s the way life is, and that should be taken as a lesson instead of a hardship.

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30 Reasons Why Being Single In Your 20’s Is A Great Privilege

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Being single is vastly underrated because of the way society emphasizes the glory of relationships and love. But being single can have incredible advantages that you may be overlooking. So listen up all my single ladies (and guys!):

1. You have more time to hang out with your friends.

2. You have more time to yourself.

3. You can flirt with anyone you want.

4. You can try new things because you have all the time in the world.

5. You can travel without worrying about bringing that special person along with you.

6. You can focus on bettering and improving yourself to your own standards.

7. You can save money and not worry about buying anniversary gifts/birthday gifts/holiday gifts.

8. You can be lazy whenever you want to be.

9. You have way less drama in your life.

10. You can plan your future the way that you want it to be.

11. You’re not required to be attached to your phone.

12. You can freely be friends with anyone of the opposite sex.

13. You don’t have to suffer through movies that you don’t want to watch.

14. You can make your own plans of your own choice on your own time.

15. You aren’t tied down to a scary commitment.

16. You don’t have to worry about heartbreak because you own your heart, no one else does.

17. You have time to reflect on your past relationships and realize why they didn’t work out.

18. You don’t have to have the stress of meeting and impressing family members.

19. You are free to go out and party whenever you feel like it.

20. You don’t have to wait on anyone.

21. You get to control the remote and watch whatever you want!

22. You can buy yourself gifts, which is great, because you know exactly what you want!

23. You can listen to the music you like without being judged for it.

24. You don’t have to be questioned about where you’re going, when you’re going somewhere, who you’re going with, and when you’ll be back.

25. You have more time to focus on school and/or work.

26. You don’t have to hang out with someone else’s friends whom you don’t get along with.

27. You have a lot more privacy when it comes to basically everything.

28. You can be as spontaneous as you want without anyone there to stop you.

29. You can do activities/hobbies that you enjoy without being bothered.

30. You don’t have to share food.

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20 Kind Things You Can Do For Others

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1. Pay for someone else’s meal/drink.

Whether you’re in a Starbucks drive-thru or a sit-down restaurant, tell the staff that you want to pay for another person’s order. The term “pay it forward” can come into play here :).

2. Volunteer. 

Volunteer at a soup kitchen, or a children’s hospital, or any other organization that gives back. Not only will you make others feel better, but you’ll feel pretty great doing it!

3. Hide some money somewhere in a store. 

It doesn’t have to be hundreds of dollars, especially if you’re short on money these days. Even leaving just a few dollars somewhere can bring some excitement and joy to someone’s day.

4. Attach money to a vending machine with a kind note. 

Leave enough money for someone to make a purchase and attach a short note saying something like, “Buy something sweet, on me!” Again, this small gesture can make someone’s day.

5. Pay someone with a compliment. 

If you really need to save money, you can pay someone in a different way: with a compliment! Let’s say you’re waiting in line at a store. Say something nice to the person in front of you or behind you. Even the smallest compliment can make someone feel amazing.

6. Donate to an organization. 

There are so many great organizations out there, so pick one that’s close to your heart and donate! Even just a small donation still makes a difference.

7. Help an elderly person (or anyone) carry groceries to his/her car. 

If you see someone struggling to get groceries to his/her car, offer to help them out! As long as you don’t ask in a creepy way, chances are, they’ll be grateful for your help!

8. Give coffee to a homeless person. 

Unfortunately, these days it’s sometimes hard to trust a homeless person with your money because there are some scammers out there. It’s a sad fact, but we know that it’s true. So instead, go to the nearest coffee shop and buy a coffee or hot chocolate for them. It’s an especially nice gesture for a cold winter day.

9. Write a nice note and leave it in a random book at the library. 

It could be a random book, or maybe it could be your favorite book. Come up with something wonderful to write and stick it in a random page. Chances are, you won’t get to see a person’s reaction to it, but just the thought of it will bring you joy.

10. Leave a sweet note on a random person’s car. 

Again, you might not get to see the person’s reaction to it, but it’s something incredibly kind and unexpected.

11. Make conversation with a store clerk (if it’s a slow day!). 

It doesn’t even have to be a full-length conversation, just ask them how their day is going, or how long they’ve been working there. Friendliness is easily passed around :).

12. Resolve a past conflict. 

This sounds like a large task but it doesn’t have to be that difficult. It’s not worth it going through life with enemies. Figure out a way to solve a past conflict with someone, and you’ll feel so much better. You don’t have to become friends with that person, but at least just agree to be civil. You’ll feel a whole lot of satisfaction!

13. Give out free hugs. 

This one sounds silly, but I always thought it was a cute idea. I’ve seen YouTube videos of people who wear a shirt or hold a sign that says “Free Hugs”, and they stand in the middle of their campus, or somewhere else in their town. I think it’s a great idea because let’s face it, everyone needs a hug! A hug a day keeps the negativity away!

14. Have a free lemonade and/or cookie stand (or hot chocolate in the winter). 

I know you like to make profit, but if you give out free food and drinks, it can make people have a better day! This simple task can bring a smile to at least one person’s face.

15. Offer to help tutor a classmate for free. 

Let’s face it, college kids are notoriously broke, yet they also want to do well in school. If you have time, and you would consider yourself well-rounded in that class, offer assistance to a struggling classmate. It will make them feel more confident, and hey, maybe you’ll make a new friend in the process!

16. Make a purchase at Goodwill/Salvation Army/another resale shop. 

Make sure you understand the cause before you go to the store, so that way you know what your money is going towards.

17. Go around your campus or around your town telling people genuine compliments. 

Again, I got this idea from YouTube, and it’s a bit more time-consuming than other things on this list, but the reactions you’ll get from others is priceless.

18. Donate old clothes/other items. 

Instead of just throwing out clothes that don’t fit anymore, donate them to an organization that gives them to people in need. It’s a much better option knowing that someone else will get use out of your unwanted things.

19. Gather up some friends and clean up your favorite local park (or other areas!). 

Being kind to the environment ultimately helps you be kind to others because a clean environment = healthier, happier people.

20. Bake something tasty for your neighbors. 

Whether you are best friends with your neighbors, or complete strangers, surprising them with baked goods is a great way to brighten their day! Maybe they’ll even invite you over to eat some of your treats with them!

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Why You Shouldn’t Make New Year’s Resolutions

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So every year, you make a pact to yourself to do everything on your list of resolutions, and then at the end of the year you realize that you have barely accomplished anything on that list. So why do you keep continuing that cycle? New Year’s resolutions are so overrated. You don’t need to make a list of things like “lose weight” or “use my phone less” because you know that you’re more than likely not going to get things done that way. Instead, you should cherish every single thing you DO get done during the year of 2015.

It was on a BuzzFeed article that I saw this great idea of decorating a mason jar, and filling it with notes of every great thing that happens during 2015. I decorated a mason jar myself, and I can’t wait for 2015 to begin so I can start filling it up. The idea is to write down all the wonderful things you do or feel during the year and put them in the jar, and then by the end of the year you can look at everything you’ve done, and ultimately feel accomplished.

I think that this is a great idea because it will make you realize how much you have actually done instead of things that you haven’t done. I believe that this is a great way to stay positive and feel good about yourself. Just imagine how much all the little things can add up over the year. It doesn’t even matter if you write down something small like, “got an ‘A’ on a paper” or something big like, “went on a trip to Australia”. Big or small, anything that feels like an accomplishment to you personally, is amazing.

You need to let yourself see that you are amazing, and everything you do is amazing. Sure, you’re going to make mistakes, and you’re going to have your ups and downs, because after all, you’re human. But, despite these rough times, you’re also going to have exciting things happen to you. Like I said, it doesn’t even matter how small these positive things are, just write it down each time something awesome happens. You’ll feel stronger and happier if you do so.

Let 2015 be your year. Let it be the year of breaking out of old habits of any negativity, or any sense of doubt. 2015 will be better than 2014 simply because you will let it be better. So instead of making those resolutions, take 2015 day by day, and make sure you let things happen as they are meant to happen. I promise you that it will be a lot more satisfying that way.

Here’s to a Happy New Year!

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