How To Be Positive Without Feeling Fake

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The “fake it ’til you make it” technique when it comes to positivity is total BS. Plastering on a smile when your lips want to naturally curve downward. Posting an overly uplifting quote on Facebook when you don’t fully believe it. Telling yourself that everything is great, when in reality, everything is falling apart.

All of these things are only temporary solutions to long-term issues. You’re not going to become a genuinely happy and upbeat person if you do these things. You’re going to feel like a fraud.

However, this doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to become positive. There are many things you can do to transform yourself and your thoughts without feeling fake. Here are some ideas to get you started:

  1. Create realistic goals. Have a list of both short-term and long-term goals that you know are achievable. Make sure your goals are things that will help you grow as a person. Personalize your goals as much as possible to assure that you’re not copying general goals that people have. Having things to work towards will help you build up your mental strength and it will change your whole perspective on life. Additionally, once you reach a goal, the feeling of euphoria is a feeling that no fake smile can obtain.
  2. Have full awareness of your problems. Many people believe that ignoring a problem will make it go away, or it will make it seem like the problem just isn’t there. Ignorance is not bliss at all. If you are constantly lying to yourself and claiming that nothing is wrong, you’re doing yourself more harm than good. Sit down and take a moment to identify anything on your mind that is bothering you. You can either write everything down on paper or just sit there and think. Sorting out everything that is wrong will help you to add to your list of goals and it will help you figure out productive solutions.
  3. Remove negative people from your life. If a friend is having a negative impact on you because of his/her attitude, you should reconsider having that person in your life. It’s pointless to have a person in your life who just provides drama and stress, rather than comfort and happiness. It can be difficult to cut a friend out of your life, but in this case, you need to put yourself first. You need to truly think about the negativity this person is bringing to your life and how much it’s affecting you. In the end, it’s not worth it to stay friends with someone for his/her sake. Only keep those in your life who lift you up.
  4. Engage in “feel good” activities. You have to figure out exactly what activities make you feel happy. Exercising can naturally make everyone feel happier because of those awesome endorphins. Engaging in your favorite hobby is important because doing what you love will give instant gratification. It’s also fun to explore new hobbies and activities in order to maintain personal growth. Search the Internet for a new, unique hobby that looks interesting to you. You can even find something new to do with a significant other or a friend. It can feel great to be doing things you want to do outside of things that you have to do. Live your life the way you want to and you’ll be a lot happier.
  5. Accept failure. It’s easy to feel down after something doesn’t go the way you wanted it to. While it’s perfectly OK to let yourself feel sad about it, don’t let that feeling last forever. You have to realize that no one is perfect, and that things will not always work out. Sometimes you’re going to fail at a goal, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Obviously we all crave success over failure; however, if we never accept failure, we will never accept ourselves. The good thing about failure is that it will force you to work harder. It will make you want to change the way you do things because you don’t want to see failure again. Once you are able to accept failure, you’ll be able to have more faith in yourself to keep persevering.
  6. Allow yourself to feel every emotion freely. If you’re only forcing yourself to feel happy, all of your other emotions are going to be trapped inside you. If you never let those other emotions out, you’re going to feel even worse. It’s OK to feel negative emotions. If human beings were only capable of feeling happiness, we’d be really boring and stagnant creatures. Just imagine you’re watching a movie and the characters were always smiling and nothing ever seemed wrong. Do you know how lame that would be? Allow yourself to fully embrace every emotion that you feel, even if you aren’t used to it. If you are able to adapt to expressing all of your emotions, it’ll help you become a stronger person in the end.
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10 Signs That Your Starbucks Addiction Is Real

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A Starbucks addiction can definitely exist, and is pretty prominent in this day and age, but sometimes you can be blind to the fact that you have this addiction. Here are 10 signs that you are addicted to Starbucks (no shame!):

1. You feel lost without the Starbucks queen staring at you from the cup.

The Starbucks queen gives you warmth and joy, comfort and assurance. The Starbucks queen gives you ALL the feels. Sometimes you feel as if you could be the Starbucks queen. Maybe someday…

2. You go there every single day, sometimes more than once a day.

You have to get your Starbucks fix every single day or else you’ll go outwardly, insanely, wickedly, MAD. Your day definitely doesn’t feel complete without a trip to Sbux.

3. You smell like coffee.

You don’t even use perfume anymore because your natural scent is that of sweet, savory coffee beans with a hint of vanilla flavored syrup. Ah, so delightful.

4. You spend hours sitting inside Starbucks.

Whether you’re legitimately working on something, or just sitting there drinking away, you are able to spend tons of time inside Starbucks. It’s one of your favorite places to be!

5. If someone suggests getting coffee from any other place, shit goes down real fast.

Aw hell naw. If your friend wants to try coffee from some new little coffee shop down the road, she can go by herself because you aren’t budging. She has betrayed you and you cannot betray Starbucks!

6. The baristas know you and your order.

You’re basically BFF’s with all the baristas and you confidently walk in each day and say, “Hey Joe, my usual cup of Joe please! How are the wife and kids?” Barista BFF’s > non-barista BFF’s.

7. You have a specific order that rarely changes, but you have tried most of their drinks.

You have tried most or all of the Starbucks menu, but you tend to stick to your normal drink because it’s part of your routine. But you always get excited to try their new drinks because it’s a thrilling mouth experience.

8. You go through withdrawal if you don’t have any Starbucks for one day.

Them headaches though. If you don’t get your Sbux caffeine fix for the day, you don’t feel like yourself. Not only does your head want to explode, but you feel tired and cranky and no one should try to mess with you.

9. You don’t understand why people get confused over the cup sizes.

How hard is it to say tall, grande, or venti? People, this is NOT that confusing or difficult! A little kid could do it! An elderly person could do it! Hey, a dog could do it! Come on, the Starbucks addicts believe in you!

10. You call Starbucks your second home. 

I mean, you would basically live there if you could. It’s so warm and cozy, and smells like beauty, and it houses your favorite beverage. Starbucks is love. Starbucks is life.

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Dating Is A Game Of Chance

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Think of your life as a metaphorical game board. Each day, you roll the dice to see what impending situation will occur. You never know what will happen because it’s impossible to predict anything that happens in your life. You might have to conquer some obstacles some days, and other days you might get to lay back and relax with a nice alcoholic beverage of choice (assuming you are of age). Just like games, you never know your outcome of a situation until you get there and see what happens.

Narrowing life down even more, dating is a game in itself. Now, we typically don’t like to “play games”, in the immature sense, when it comes to dating, but the dating process is comparable to a game. Think about slot machines for a second. Yes, I know, your mind automatically jumps to Vegas and now you’re thinking all kinds of things, but just bear with me for a second. Slot machines are pure luck and chance, you don’t really have much control over what turns up on the machine. The same thing goes with dating. Dating is a game of chance because you never know who you’re going to meet and you never know what is going to happen. For instance, you can meet someone and think that it might turn into something, but then you realize they’re a dud after the first date. Or, you can be in a relationship with someone and think that they’re the one, and it might not even work out in the end.

These situations aren’t meant to be seen as anything negative, but rather, they should give you realizations about how life works. You can’t just give up after a bad relationship, and you can’t just swear off dating after one bad date. You have to get back in the game, and fight for your chance to win, because who doesn’t like winning games? Dating isn’t as simple as black and white because each person you encounter is going to be different from the last one and the next one. But this is what makes dating exciting! New experiences and new people can teach you many lessons about the dating world as a whole.

So, as you roll your dice for the day, don’t wish for anything to happen, don’t try to predict what will happen, just let things play out as they are meant to. Don’t waste your time worrying about all the bad dates or relationships you’ve been through. Just push all that aside, and see what pops up next on your metaphorical dating slot machine. You’ll be a winner someday. (If all else fails, move to Vegas).

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15 Ways To Improve Your Mood

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We all have bad days and good days, but it’s important to always work on improving your mood because you deserve to be happy!  There are many small and easy things you can do in order to feel better, but here are some ideas:

1. Write about your feelings.

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Whether you’re a writer or not, it always helps to let everything out that you’ve been building up inside. If you put all your thoughts down on paper, not only will you feel relieved, but it will also be easier for you to solve your problems.

2. Exercise.

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Even though lying on the couch sounds better than exercise, releasing those endorphins can be very fulfilling! Even just going for an easy walk can make you feel really great; it doesn’t have to be anything extensive!

3. Listen to your favorite music.

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Even though you might be tempted to listen to sad music when you’re in a negative mood, doing so will only keep you in that mood. If you listen to your favorite upbeat music and sing along, you’ll start feeling better before you know it!

4. Get organized.

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If you’re in a bad mood because you have a lot on your plate, take a moment to breathe and make a list or schedule of everything you have to do. If you organize everything by when you’re going to get things done, it will be easier for you to accomplish everything.

5. Do some cleaning.

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No one really likes cleaning, but if you’re in a clean environment, you’ll automatically be able to feel a lot better about life. Even if it’s just picking up some things off your floor, you’ll feel great about the improvement you have just made.

6. Get some fresh air.

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Being cooped up inside when you’re in a bad mood makes it hard to improve. Go sit outside, or even just crack open your window. Breathing in the outside air will make your brain feel less “blah” and more at ease.

7. Hang out with friends.

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If you go out and do something fun, or even just sit and chat with friends, chances are you’ll start feeling a lot better right away. Whether it’s talking to your friends about why you’re in a bad mood, or just distracting yourself, it’s a lot better than sitting by yourself.

8. Watch some funny videos.

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YouTube can be your best friend if none of your friends are available to make you laugh. Watch some of your old favorite funny videos, or look up new, random ones. Laughing is good for the soul!

9. Watch your favorite movie.

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If you have some more time, watch a movie that you have always loved and always makes you smile or laugh. Or even watch your favorite TV show! Entertainment is beautiful thing.

10. Dance in your room.

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This is where that saying “dance like no one is watching” comes in. Blast a catchy tune and dance your heart out because why not? You’ll not only have a chance to laugh at yourself, but you’ll also have so much fun.

11. Think about something exciting.

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Find at least one thing that you are looking forward to and focus on that. It’ll make your day a lot better knowing that better things are coming to you very soon.

12. Play with puppies.

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If you don’t have your own dog, go to a pet store or shelter and go play with or pet some dogs! Dogs instantly put people in a good mood because they are just so cute and friendly! If you’re not a dog person, choose another animal to go play with!

13. Volunteer.

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If you have some extra time, go find a volunteer opportunity. Making other people happy will give you a lot of great feelings. Essentially, helping others become happy will make you happy as well.

14. Finish a project you’ve been putting off.

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It always feels great to finish something, so if you’ve been procrastinating on a hobby or project, go finish it! Even if you’re busy, try to make some time to get it done.

15. Just smile. 

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This one may sound silly, but smiling alone can change your mood, even in the slightest way. Try to smile throughout the day, and smile at others as well, because you never know who else is also having a bad day!

Quote Of The Day: 

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What Type Of Flirt Are You?

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Ah, flirting, a fun little activity that can also be ever-so frightening for some people. We all have different ways of showing people that we are interested in them, but there’s no scientific proof that one way of flirting is better than another. It all depends on the person and the situation. Your type of flirting may work on one person, but you might be pushed away by someone else. It’s a game of chance, luck, and a little bit of determination. Here are 5 very common types of flirts that exist:

Sarcastic Flirt

You use various levels of sarcasm and sometimes light-hearted insults to subtly, yet so obviously hint that you’re interested. This type of flirting can be especially fun because it can turn into a game of who can be more sarcastic. This can often initiate quick bonding and can set you on a path of possibilities. Hey, maybe someday you’ll both get married and have sarcastic babies who will carry on the chain of beautiful sarcasm.

Pros: You give off your personality and sense of humor right off the bat. This is important because you’re not trying too hard and you’re just being yourself. You also aren’t being extremely forward with the other person, which is good because you don’t want to come off too strong and scare them away.

Cons: If the person you’re flirting with doesn’t pick up on sarcasm very well, then you’re completely out of luck. You might even end up offending someone, which is the polar opposite of your original intentions.

Drunk Flirt

You have a fine appreciation for the existence of liquid courage. You’re that person who, after several shots of vodka (or tequila, if you roll like that), walks (or stumbles) up to the hottie at the bar without even really thinking about it. You’re not afraid to be completely blunt about how attracted you are to them and you even feel bold enough to rest a hand on their shoulder. You might be slurring a bit, but you always say exactly what you want to say.

Pros: You use every part of your confidence without even having the time to be nervous about it. This is an extremely powerful tactic because you’ll never miss out on the opportunity to meet someone new. The string of compliments that you unleash can be wonderfully satisfying.

Cons: You sometimes might come off as a sloppy drunk, which isn’t very attractive to any decent human being. If you get too drunk, your flirting might be considered an annoyance instead of a means of endearment.

“One Of The Boys” Flirt

You tend to have a lot of guy friends because you enjoy doing the typical things that they do together. Whether it’s madly yelling at the TV set during a football game, or participating in a beer chugging contest, you get along with guys very well. You use your ability to relate to them in order to get close to them. This isn’t very difficult for you because it just comes naturally.

Pros: A lot of guys appreciate girls who share similar interests to them because they sometimes find it to be a rare quality. You also are showing interest simply by being you, which is an awesome lead-in to dating someone. You typically feel more comfortable than other girls when you’re around guys, which is a huge plus.

Cons: You are easily put into the friendzone because of your laid-back approach to flirting. He might be quick to just consider you to be another one of his buddies instead of a potential girlfriend. Sometimes he also might not get the hint that you like him because it’s not always completely obvious.

Overly Confident Flirt

You put yourself out there and you don’t give a damn about the consequences. You have no problem talking to a person of interest and you don’t care about being completely obvious about your intentions. Even if you get shut down, you just keep moving on to your next possible mate. You love using various flirting techniques because it gives you a chance to test out what works best.

Pros: You have that similar wonderful power as a drunk flirt, except a bonus is that you are completely sober. The person you’re flirting with can potentially appreciate your fearlessness, which can slide you into success.

Cons: It’s possible to be TOO confident. Excessive amounts of confidence can come off as cockiness, which no one really likes. You also might come off way too strong sometimes, which ultimately won’t help you get what you want.

Social Media Maven Flirt

You are a pro at discreetly, yet noticeably, ‘liking’ your crush’s photos on Facebook, leaving witty comments on their Instagram pictures, and tweeting them an appropriately flirty message in 140 characters or less. You are also probably a specialist at flirting through text messages. You aren’t scared to message them first because hey, you got this.

Pros: You take the time to think about what you’re going to say to someone through a text or a Facebook message, which allows you to send something quite pristine. This can greatly impress the other person and make them want to continue talking to you.

Cons: Because you are used to taking the time to think about what to say, it might be hard for you to transition your flirting into the real world. You are probably a little more nervous when you’re talking to your crush in person, which can cause awkwardness and mixed signals.

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Things Old Disney Channel Shows Taught Us

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Old school Disney Channel was seriously the best thing ever because it had relatable content, even though some of it was admittedly a bit out there. Now Disney has shows about a dog who has a blog and who knows what else. I definitely feel lucky to have grown up watching such awesome shows on Disney. Here is what some of these old shows have taught us (note* there are many more old shows that were great, but I couldn’t include all of them*):

Lizzie McGuire:

Lizzie McGuire was probably the most relatable show to all young girls out there. This show kept it real by putting Lizzie in situations that a lot of girls have to deal with, such as crushing on boys, fighting with close friends, putting up with mean girls, and a lot more. I also found it interesting how they showed Lizzie’s thoughts and conscience through her mini cartoon look-alike. This also made the show even more relatable because it made Lizzie seem like a real person going through real things, instead of being a fictional character that no one believed in. (Also, the Aaron Carter Christmas episode was just, like, the best thing ever).

Even Stevens:

Louis was a sneaky wild child, while Ren was a goody goody perfectionist, so it made sense that these siblings were always butting heads. This show taught us a lot about the ins and outs of family, such as sibling rivalries along with the importance of loving your siblings. They showed us that even though you may not get along with your siblings all the time, they are still your family and will be there for you no matter what. It’s true that these characters got themselves into many crazy situations, but despite some minor unrealistic qualities, it still contained valuable lessons. (We also learned that we went to the moon in 1969, and we’ll never forget it thanks to that catchy song).

Hannah Montana:

Okay, so most people don’t live a double life, but Hannah Montana taught us a lot about friendships, family, relationships, and finding your true self. Throughout the show, Miley has difficulties keeping up with her double life, and from the help of her friends, her dad, and her brother, she overcomes any problems she had to go through. The Hannah Montana movie was the ending of the series, where Miley decides to reveal to people that she was indeed living this double life, because she didn’t want to do it anymore. She taught us that being yourself is the greatest thing you can be. (We also learned that “Nobody’s Perfect” ;D).

That’s So Raven:

That’s So Raven brought up a lot of important issues throughout the course of the show. One episode that stood out was the one where Raven designed a dress and she was set to be the model for it in a fashion show, but they wanted a skinnier model instead of her. Raven ended up doing the fashion show anyway, teaching us that loving your body the way it is is important, along with the lesson that all body types are beautiful. Another very important episode was the one where Raven and Chelsea applied to work at a clothing store, and only Chelsea got the job. Raven discovered that the owner of the store didn’t hire black people, and Raven worked hard to take down the owner to fight for her rights. I believe it was one of the biggest times that Disney Channel had brought up the issues of racism, and that’s why it was so important. (Raven was also pretty rad because she saw the future).

The Suite Life of Zack and Cody:

Zack and Cody got into a lot of trouble with their shenanigans in the hotel, but each main character in this show taught us something. Cody was known as the smart/nerdy twin, and he showed us that it’s ok to no be popular or “cool” because your friends and family will love you anyway. Zack was known as the cool, carefree twin, and he showed us the importance of learning from your mistakes and growing as a person. Maddie was the hard working perfectionist who taught us that hard work really does pay off, and it’s also ok to mess up sometimes. London was known as the dimwitted, greedy princess, who taught us that even if you aren’t as smart as everyone else, your other strengths make you awesome, and your flaws can only teach you valuable lessons. (They also showed us how freakin’ cool it would be to live in a hotel!).

10 Things You Learn In College Outside The Classroom

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College is first seen as a time of studying hard and working towards a career. While this is accurate, the overall college experience gives people the opportunity to learn more than just what they read in textbooks. College students learn all these extra little things without even realizing it. Here are some of the things that they learn:

1. How to find true friends. This lesson usually doesn’t come right off the bat because when you’re starting out as a freshman, everyone is new and everyone wants to hang out. But over the years, you come to find who is truly your friend and who is not. College allows you to differentiate between a true friend and a fake friend, which is something that develops with time.

2. How to have a stable relationship. College relationships are way more serious than they are in high school. If you go through some crappy relationships during college, you are able to learn what you can do differently in future relationships in order to make them more stable. If you have secured yourself in a serious relationship in college, you learn how to maintain it, and throughout the relationship, you learn how to make it better. College is a time for maturing, and understanding how to resolve conflict with others.

3. How to have fun. Even though you have to be serious when it comes to classwork, college is a time for going out and doing fun things. You learn that it’s perfectly okay to give yourself a break once in awhile, because having fun is a crucial part of life.

4. How to take care of yourself. This refers to many different aspects of taking care of yourself, from learning how to essentially live on your own, to eating well and exercising. Usually freshman year, you don’t care much about eating healthy and getting enough sleep, but over the years you realize how important these things are.

5. How to be responsible. Responsibility is a huge part of college because not only are you responsible for getting your homework done in time, but you also have outside responsibilities that come along with your independence. As more responsibilities get thrown on you throughout the years, you learn how to be a more organized individual.

6. How to work with others. You’ve been taught at a young age how to work with others, but it really sinks in during college. This is mainly because you get stuck doing group projects and working with people who you might not get along with. Being put in situations like these allow you to become more mature, and learn how to work with people who are different from you.

7. How to try new things. College is a time where new opportunities fly at you from every angle. Being in a new place on your own allows you to branch out a bit more than you’re used to. This is a good thing because it opens you up to new interests and new things that you might have never even tried before.

8. How to ask for help. During your college years, you come to realize that it’s perfectly okay to ask for help when you’re lost or confused. This can range from getting help on schoolwork to getting help with personal problems. This is something you learn because you’re maturing and realizing that getting help isn’t a bad thing, it’s only another thing that contributes to your growth.

9. How to be involved. Colleges have so many different organizations that you’re bound to have found at least one that you belong to. This involvement gives you some experiences that you might not have had without college. It also helps you meet new people who are interested in similar things to you, and sometimes these people can become your life-long friends.

10. How to find yourself. Essentially, college is the time in your life where you find out what you want to do in your future. With that, comes finding yourself. During college, you’ll sometimes lose yourself during your journey, and you might not have even completely found yourself by the time you graduate. But this doesn’t mean that you will never find yourself. You can take everything you’ve learned in college and apply it to your life, while continuing on your journey after graduation.

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