Dating Is A Game Of Chance

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Think of your life as a metaphorical game board. Each day, you roll the dice to see what impending situation will occur. You never know what will happen because it’s impossible to predict anything that happens in your life. You might have to conquer some obstacles some days, and other days you might get to lay back and relax with a nice alcoholic beverage of choice (assuming you are of age). Just like games, you never know your outcome of a situation until you get there and see what happens.

Narrowing life down even more, dating is a game in itself. Now, we typically don’t like to “play games”, in the immature sense, when it comes to dating, but the dating process is comparable to a game. Think about slot machines for a second. Yes, I know, your mind automatically jumps to Vegas and now you’re thinking all kinds of things, but just bear with me for a second. Slot machines are pure luck and chance, you don’t really have much control over what turns up on the machine. The same thing goes with dating. Dating is a game of chance because you never know who you’re going to meet and you never know what is going to happen. For instance, you can meet someone and think that it might turn into something, but then you realize they’re a dud after the first date. Or, you can be in a relationship with someone and think that they’re the one, and it might not even work out in the end.

These situations aren’t meant to be seen as anything negative, but rather, they should give you realizations about how life works. You can’t just give up after a bad relationship, and you can’t just swear off dating after one bad date. You have to get back in the game, and fight for your chance to win, because who doesn’t like winning games? Dating isn’t as simple as black and white because each person you encounter is going to be different from the last one and the next one. But this is what makes dating exciting! New experiences and new people can teach you many lessons about the dating world as a whole.

So, as you roll your dice for the day, don’t wish for anything to happen, don’t try to predict what will happen, just let things play out as they are meant to. Don’t waste your time worrying about all the bad dates or relationships you’ve been through. Just push all that aside, and see what pops up next on your metaphorical dating slot machine. You’ll be a winner someday. (If all else fails, move to Vegas).

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Why It’s Okay To “Play The Field”

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A girl who dates around a lot is typically called a whore, while a guy who does this is called a player. We stereotype these people as serial daters, making them sound like killers, which is a bit extreme. If you don’t truly hurt anyone in the process of “playing the field” should it actually be considered taboo?

If you’re not committed to anyone, you’re completely free to date whoever you would like to date. Whether you don’t want to be tied down, or you just want to explore your options, dating around is a great way to find out what type of person is right for you. It allows you to get to know a variety of people in the world, and maybe you will be able find your match during this process.

In this generation, relationships are formed faster than the snap of a rubber band. Typically, a couple becomes “official” after only a couple weeks of dating. We have become a fast paced society, so this seems normal to us, but is it actually healthy? When we jump into a relationship, we are faced with difficulties because we learn more about the other person that we didn’t have time to learn beforehand. It makes me wonder what dating was like years ago, when a boy would ask a girl to go steady, only after giving himself the proper amount of time to know if she was the one. I’m sure relationships still had their flaws back then, but maybe they were still stronger.

Going on various dates can help you see what’s out there, rather than shutting yourself out because of one person who seems perfect at the time. Sure, you’ll eventually have to choose someone out of all these people that you meet, but that doesn’t mean you should choose the first person you lay your eyes on. Even if you just go on a few different dates, you can let yourself see the differences in people, and you can learn more about yourself too. You can learn about what you’re actually looking for and see what specific things you like about people.

I think “playing the field” has such a bad reputation surrounding it because of the way society has defined it. Society thinks that it means sleeping around, or even being unfaithful, but it doesn’t have to have those meanings at all, as long as you are doing it in a classy manner. You don’t have to commit yourself to someone right off the bat just because you think they have potential. Look around, and you could possibly find someone else with even more potential.

Think of it as a metaphorical representation of a soccer field. If you’re on offense, you’re not just standing in one spot the whole time, because that wouldn’t do anything for you. You’re running up and down the field trying to accomplish a goal. Ahem, “playing the field”. If you’re just sticking to one person before attempting to meet other people, you might not reach your goal.

There are many exceptions to this, so this is why I’m not forcefully telling you that you should play the field or else you’re going to fail in life. I’m just saying that it’s perfectly normal and perfectly okay to explore your options, especially if you’re unsure about being with someone. If you meet someone and you truly know from the bottom of your heart that he/she is the one, then okay, go for it! But don’t look at the people who play the field and automatically pull a red flag on them. They just choose to spend more time searching for that special person.

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Why You Shouldn’t Hate Your Ex’s Significant Other

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After a breakup, it can be tough moving on, and it’s even more tough trying to deal with the idea of your ex being with someone else. Once your ex starts dating someone else, your immediate reactions are:

1. “What?! How did he/she move on so soon?!”

2. “Omg their new gf/bf is so ugly!”

3. “HAHAHA he/she totally downgraded from me!”

4. “Lol, she/he has to put up with him/her now, sucks to be them.”

You see a trend here? Putting down your ex’s new flame might make you feel better in the moment, but in reality, you probably shouldn’t be doing that. In most cases, the new flame didn’t do anything to personally hurt you. Heck, chances are they might not even know you. Even though you aren’t saying these things to their face, the idea of it all is still morally repulsive. Putting someone else down just to boost your own self esteem will only result in self destruction.

Your ex is the one who chose to date someone else, so ultimately, you were hurt by them, and not by their significant other. I’m not saying you should hate your ex (because you shouldn’t hate anyone really), but I’m saying that it’s not worth it to sit there picking out the physical flaws of the new person they’re dating because it’s a waste of time. You should instead be finding ways to move on and better yourself.

It’s always tempting to creep on your ex’s Facebook (if they haven’t blocked you) or creep on his/her gf/bf, but you could be using that time more productively. You’ll just keep feeling resentment and sadness if you keep looking on their pages, so what is the actual point of looking? Do you really want to keep reminding yourself of the situation? NO! So here are some steps you can take:

1. Block your ex and his/her significant other from EVERY social media site. If they haven’t already blocked you, block them from everything ASAP so you won’t be tempted to look at anything they’re doing. Also block their number while you’re at it, because why not.

2. Stop thinking about your ex. This is easier said than done, but it is possible. You just have to immerse yourself in activities that you enjoy, such as spending time with friends, in order to keep your mind busy.

3. Understand that you will also find someone new someday, on your own time. You’ll find someone new when you’re ready, and when the time is right. Don’t worry so much about competing with your ex by trying to upgrade to a better person. Take it slow, and wait until you find someone who treats you right and who you are content with.

4. Learn how to be happy on your own before dating again. You should never live life counting on someone else to complete your happiness. Only YOU can make YOU happy, and you need to remember that.

Also just remember this: people move on, because that’s the way life is, and that should be taken as a lesson instead of a hardship.

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