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How To Be Positive Without Feeling Fake

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The “fake it ’til you make it” technique when it comes to positivity is total BS. Plastering on a smile when your lips want to naturally curve downward. Posting an overly uplifting quote on Facebook when you don’t fully believe it. Telling yourself that everything is great, when in reality, everything is falling apart.

All of these things are only temporary solutions to long-term issues. You’re not going to become a genuinely happy and upbeat person if you do these things. You’re going to feel like a fraud.

However, this doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to become positive. There are many things you can do to transform yourself and your thoughts without feeling fake. Here are some ideas to get you started:

  1. Create realistic goals. Have a list of both short-term and long-term goals that you know are achievable. Make sure your goals are things that will help you grow as a person. Personalize your goals as much as possible to assure that you’re not copying general goals that people have. Having things to work towards will help you build up your mental strength and it will change your whole perspective on life. Additionally, once you reach a goal, the feeling of euphoria is a feeling that no fake smile can obtain.
  2. Have full awareness of your problems. Many people believe that ignoring a problem will make it go away, or it will make it seem like the problem just isn’t there. Ignorance is not bliss at all. If you are constantly lying to yourself and claiming that nothing is wrong, you’re doing yourself more harm than good. Sit down and take a moment to identify anything on your mind that is bothering you. You can either write everything down on paper or just sit there and think. Sorting out everything that is wrong will help you to add to your list of goals and it will help you figure out productive solutions.
  3. Remove negative people from your life. If a friend is having a negative impact on you because of his/her attitude, you should reconsider having that person in your life. It’s pointless to have a person in your life who just provides drama and stress, rather than comfort and happiness. It can be difficult to cut a friend out of your life, but in this case, you need to put yourself first. You need to truly think about the negativity this person is bringing to your life and how much it’s affecting you. In the end, it’s not worth it to stay friends with someone for his/her sake. Only keep those in your life who lift you up.
  4. Engage in “feel good” activities. You have to figure out exactly what activities make you feel happy. Exercising can naturally make everyone feel happier because of those awesome endorphins. Engaging in your favorite hobby is important because doing what you love will give instant gratification. It’s also fun to explore new hobbies and activities in order to maintain personal growth. Search the Internet for a new, unique hobby that looks interesting to you. You can even find something new to do with a significant other or a friend. It can feel great to be doing things you want to do outside of things that you have to do. Live your life the way you want to and you’ll be a lot happier.
  5. Accept failure. It’s easy to feel down after something doesn’t go the way you wanted it to. While it’s perfectly OK to let yourself feel sad about it, don’t let that feeling last forever. You have to realize that no one is perfect, and that things will not always work out. Sometimes you’re going to fail at a goal, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Obviously we all crave success over failure; however, if we never accept failure, we will never accept ourselves. The good thing about failure is that it will force you to work harder. It will make you want to change the way you do things because you don’t want to see failure again. Once you are able to accept failure, you’ll be able to have more faith in yourself to keep persevering.
  6. Allow yourself to feel every emotion freely. If you’re only forcing yourself to feel happy, all of your other emotions are going to be trapped inside you. If you never let those other emotions out, you’re going to feel even worse. It’s OK to feel negative emotions. If human beings were only capable of feeling happiness, we’d be really boring and stagnant creatures. Just imagine you’re watching a movie and the characters were always smiling and nothing ever seemed wrong. Do you know how lame that would be? Allow yourself to fully embrace every emotion that you feel, even if you aren’t used to it. If you are able to adapt to expressing all of your emotions, it’ll help you become a stronger person in the end.
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10 Ways To Make The Most Out Of Senior Year Of College

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Senior year of college can be a stressful time. Not only are you trying to figure out your fast approaching future, but you’re also dreading the fact that you have to leave all these wonderful friends you made over the years. Even though senior year is scary, it can also be your best year of college if you let it be.

1. Get involved in as many activities as you can. Join a school organization that you’ve always wanted to join, or even try something new that is out of your comfort zone. Make the most out of the last of your college experience!

2. Spend as much time with friends as possible. This is especially important if you are your friends are all going separate ways after graduation. You want to spend a lot of time with them so that way you’ll stay close friends after school is done.

3. Stop worrying about the little things. If you spend too much time worrying about every little thing, you’re using up valuable time. Instead, focus on all the good things in life and take advantage of them.

4. Party it up. Get all your college-style partying in NOW because you’re just going to look like an idiot if you do it after college. If you don’t like to party/drink, have your own kind of party with something you enjoy. Have a movie night, with lots of pizza and too many cookies, and sit under a blanket fort. GO WILD!

5. Explore. Go with your friends and find at least one new place that you have never been before. Even if your college is surrounded by nothing exciting, attempt to find something and make it exciting. You know you’re going to miss that place when you leave.

6. Don’t get too stressed about your classes. You have more important things to focus on! But at the same time, don’t let senioritis take over to the point of not even wanting to try. Find a balance and stick with it!

7. Let go of any people who are negatively affecting your life. This is the time when you can finally realize who should be in your life and who shouldn’t be. Don’t stick with people who are just going to bring you down. It’s not only a waste of time, but it also gives you unnecessary problems.

8. Don’t freak out about your post-graduation plans. I know this is tough to follow, but if you get overly panicked about your future, you won’t be able to calm down enough to actually focus. Just know that basically every senior in college goes through the same thing, and you’re not alone. You’ll figure it out soon enough.

9. Immerse yourself in things that you love doing. Whether you have a hobby that you enjoy, or a certain activity, do as much of it as you can. It’s really important to enjoy yourself because that will make you happy. Plus, you’ll have more free time now than you will after college, so use it up!

10. Just be you. By now, you’ve pretty much found yourself for the most part, so don’t ever try to be someone that you’re not. Go through life day to day and be as true to yourself as you can be. You’ll feel so much happier by just simply being yourself.

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Taylor Swift Songs That Will Put You In A Good Mood

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Taylor Swift is the queen of angry and sad breakup songs, but she is also wonderful at releasing songs dealing with new beginnings and positivity. I decided to look through all the Taylor songs that I own (a lot of songs….like over 100!) and post the ones that I feel best give off an upbeat/positive vibe. Whether you’re a fan of hers or not, at least take a listen to some of these:

Begin Again:

Begin Again is all about starting a new relationship after you’ve been trying to move on from your ex. It reflects the wonderful feelings you can get once you let go and try something new with someone else.

Hey Stephen:

Hey Stephen is a song that you would totally sing to that cute boy you have a crush on. He may have all these girls pining after him but hey, you’re totally positive that you’re the one for him.

Change:

Change is a great song because you can relate it to almost anything you’re going through. If you’re going through a rough time just know that “these things will change” and times will get better.

Fearless:

Fearless is another song about starting new with someone. Being “fearless” with someone means to let go and dive in and see how wonderful it can be.

Jump Then Fall:

Jump Then Fall reflects a song about liking a guy and telling him that he doesn’t have to be afraid of any consequences of falling for you. This can also reflect the idea that you shouldn’t be afraid of falling for someone just because you’re afraid of getting hurt. You just go for it and see what happens!

22:

22 is a great song to dance to with your friends because it’s all about having fun and not having a care in the world. This song is especially awesome to jam out to if you’re a single lady because it’ll make you just want to appreciate your life and not worry about anything.

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together:

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together is a wonderful song for someone who has recently gone through a breakup and is like, soo done. Not only is it a fun song to dance to, but it’s one of those breakup songs that doesn’t make you want to cry, but instead makes you smile and sing a long.

Everything Has Changed:

Everything Has Changed not only features the beautiful voice of Ed Sheeran, but it also contains lyrics about finding someone new. It marks those first feelings you have when you start to fall for someone and how amazing it truly is.

Mean:

Mean is a song you can jam out to when you want to tell the haters what’s up. It reflects the fact that there are going to be people out there who may not like you or appreciate you, but you shouldn’t care because you are going to do great things in life, while those people waste their time putting you down.

Long Live:

Long Live can be interpreted in many different ways, but I feel like it has an overall vibe to it. Taylor wrote it specifically about her fans, and how grateful she is for all the experiences she has had going on tour and becoming successful with her music. It just has a great feel to it and can instantly brighten your mood.

Sweeter Than Fiction:

Sweeter Than Fiction was a song that Taylor wrote for a movie, and isn’t very well known by everyone, but I still think it’s an amazing song. It’s about someone who struggles to find someone to believe in them, and keeps on failing at what they’re trying to pursue, but should keep on trying, because eventually they’ll make it. It’s a great motivational song for anyone who is trying to work hard towards something.

Shake It Off:

Shake It Off is not only a fun song to dance around your room to, but it also just makes you feel good in general. It’s basically about not caring what the haters (or anyone) thinks of you because you know you’re awesome. Just shake it off!

Blank Space:

Blank Space is a fun song because in it, Taylor is essentially making fun of herself for being known as a serial dater, and she is telling the next guy that she’ll add his name to her list of ex lovers. Whether you relate to this insanity or not, it’s a great song to listen to when you want to just sing and be in a better mood.

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Why You Shouldn’t Hate Your Ex’s Significant Other

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After a breakup, it can be tough moving on, and it’s even more tough trying to deal with the idea of your ex being with someone else. Once your ex starts dating someone else, your immediate reactions are:

1. “What?! How did he/she move on so soon?!”

2. “Omg their new gf/bf is so ugly!”

3. “HAHAHA he/she totally downgraded from me!”

4. “Lol, she/he has to put up with him/her now, sucks to be them.”

You see a trend here? Putting down your ex’s new flame might make you feel better in the moment, but in reality, you probably shouldn’t be doing that. In most cases, the new flame didn’t do anything to personally hurt you. Heck, chances are they might not even know you. Even though you aren’t saying these things to their face, the idea of it all is still morally repulsive. Putting someone else down just to boost your own self esteem will only result in self destruction.

Your ex is the one who chose to date someone else, so ultimately, you were hurt by them, and not by their significant other. I’m not saying you should hate your ex (because you shouldn’t hate anyone really), but I’m saying that it’s not worth it to sit there picking out the physical flaws of the new person they’re dating because it’s a waste of time. You should instead be finding ways to move on and better yourself.

It’s always tempting to creep on your ex’s Facebook (if they haven’t blocked you) or creep on his/her gf/bf, but you could be using that time more productively. You’ll just keep feeling resentment and sadness if you keep looking on their pages, so what is the actual point of looking? Do you really want to keep reminding yourself of the situation? NO! So here are some steps you can take:

1. Block your ex and his/her significant other from EVERY social media site. If they haven’t already blocked you, block them from everything ASAP so you won’t be tempted to look at anything they’re doing. Also block their number while you’re at it, because why not.

2. Stop thinking about your ex. This is easier said than done, but it is possible. You just have to immerse yourself in activities that you enjoy, such as spending time with friends, in order to keep your mind busy.

3. Understand that you will also find someone new someday, on your own time. You’ll find someone new when you’re ready, and when the time is right. Don’t worry so much about competing with your ex by trying to upgrade to a better person. Take it slow, and wait until you find someone who treats you right and who you are content with.

4. Learn how to be happy on your own before dating again. You should never live life counting on someone else to complete your happiness. Only YOU can make YOU happy, and you need to remember that.

Also just remember this: people move on, because that’s the way life is, and that should be taken as a lesson instead of a hardship.

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Why You Shouldn’t Make New Year’s Resolutions

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So every year, you make a pact to yourself to do everything on your list of resolutions, and then at the end of the year you realize that you have barely accomplished anything on that list. So why do you keep continuing that cycle? New Year’s resolutions are so overrated. You don’t need to make a list of things like “lose weight” or “use my phone less” because you know that you’re more than likely not going to get things done that way. Instead, you should cherish every single thing you DO get done during the year of 2015.

It was on a BuzzFeed article that I saw this great idea of decorating a mason jar, and filling it with notes of every great thing that happens during 2015. I decorated a mason jar myself, and I can’t wait for 2015 to begin so I can start filling it up. The idea is to write down all the wonderful things you do or feel during the year and put them in the jar, and then by the end of the year you can look at everything you’ve done, and ultimately feel accomplished.

I think that this is a great idea because it will make you realize how much you have actually done instead of things that you haven’t done. I believe that this is a great way to stay positive and feel good about yourself. Just imagine how much all the little things can add up over the year. It doesn’t even matter if you write down something small like, “got an ‘A’ on a paper” or something big like, “went on a trip to Australia”. Big or small, anything that feels like an accomplishment to you personally, is amazing.

You need to let yourself see that you are amazing, and everything you do is amazing. Sure, you’re going to make mistakes, and you’re going to have your ups and downs, because after all, you’re human. But, despite these rough times, you’re also going to have exciting things happen to you. Like I said, it doesn’t even matter how small these positive things are, just write it down each time something awesome happens. You’ll feel stronger and happier if you do so.

Let 2015 be your year. Let it be the year of breaking out of old habits of any negativity, or any sense of doubt. 2015 will be better than 2014 simply because you will let it be better. So instead of making those resolutions, take 2015 day by day, and make sure you let things happen as they are meant to happen. I promise you that it will be a lot more satisfying that way.

Here’s to a Happy New Year!

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Why We Should Be Thankful For More Than Just Turkey

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Happy Thanksgiving!

We all (or most of us) love Thanksgiving because of the great food, football games, and lounging around, but it’s important to recognize everyone and everything you’re thankful for, otherwise, you aren’t celebrating Thanksgiving, you’re celebrating Foodgiving.

Be thankful and grateful for the family in your life. Whether a big family, or a small one, you share a connection that you can’t have with anyone else. Even if you’re not close to everyone in your family, you should still be thankful that you have them in your life. After all, you can’t choose your family, and you’re pretty much stuck with them, so accept that ;).

Be gracious for all of your friendships. People come and go from your life all the time, but there are certain people who stick around for a lifetime. Be happy that you have those people in your life because they are the people who would do anything for you and who are always there for you when you need them. It’s amazing how someone who was once a stranger is now so close to you it almost feels like they’re family. That kind of friendship is one to be thankful for.

Be appreciative for your life. Even if you’re going through a tough time, or struggling with something, just be grateful that you’re alive. No matter what you’re going through, it’s important to stay positive, because things can get better. Just be happy that you were born because you were put on this earth for a reason. Don’t you ever forget that!

Have gratification towards yourself. You are the only you that is out there, so you should be pretty darn thankful for that. You’re unique, and you have wonderful qualities and abilities that you should always cherish. Make sure to hold on to that because it’s always crucial to love yourself for who you are. Everyone has flaws, but it’s better to embrace the flaws because that’s what makes you different from everyone else. Standing out is way better than blending in!

So before you take that first bite of turkey, take a moment to think about everything you’re thankful for in life. If you do so, you’ll realize how great life truly is.

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The Difference Between “Pretty” And “Beautiful”

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Our society has certain “standards” for what makes someone beautiful. But society really doesn’t know the true meaning of the word “beautiful”. According to one of the definitions from dictionary.com, beautiful means “excellent of its kind”. People are beautiful not because of their appearance, but because they are unique and live life their own way.

There is a huge difference between “beautiful” and “pretty”. In fact, dictionary.com defines pretty as “pleasing or attractive to the eyes”. A flower can be pretty because of its bright colors, but a person can be beautiful because of his or her heart, mind, and/or soul. Physical attraction vs mental/emotional attractive is the dividing line between pretty and beautiful. When you first see someone, you might think they’re pretty, but it’s not until you get to truly know them, that you can deem them to be beautiful This is what society lacks knowledge of, and it all stems from the mass media.

Back in the day, stars like Marilyn Monroe were considered beautiful for having curvy bodies. Today, society deems slender bodies to be the most beautiful. Photoshop is used on every single person whose photo is taken for a magazine, in order to make them look “perfect”, aka “beautiful”. In reality, anyone can be beautiful despite the way their body looks. There are so many body types out there which makes us all different from one another. If we all had thin torsos and thigh gaps we would all look the same, and it would be boring.

I define a person’s beauty not by their smile, but by the things that make them smile. I define a person’s beauty by the way they think and they way they feel. That is the only true way to distinguish beauty. It doesn’t matter what society says, you are beautiful because you are you, not because of your outer layers. So if you don’t think you’re beautiful, look deep down into your soul and you’ll see that you are.

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Why Finding Prince Charming Shouldn’t Be Top Priority

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The dissolution of a seasoned romance is similar to the rotting of the leaves in the winter; sudden and ugly. But seasons change, and so do emotions. You eventually get back on your feet and pick up the pieces of your heart until another soul destroys it again, and you repeat the cycle.

This may seem like a harsh metaphorical representation of a breakup, but when you truly think about it, it’s just a normal part of life. Sure, in the moment of a breakup, you might think your life is over, and everything you’ve ever dreamed of is crushed, but honestly, that’s just the dramatization of your current emotions. You know for a fact that you’ll live, and that you’ll be fine after some time passes.

So many people have placed “finding my true love” at the top of their list of priorities. This is understandable, because from books, and films, and even real life experiences, we’ve clung on to the idea of love being the closest thing to magic (cheesy, but let’s be real, this is true). I’ve gone through my fair share of breakups, some harder than others, and I can tell you that my experiences have made me re-prioritize my life. I’ve always been the hopeless romantic daydreamer, whose expectations of a fairytale romance were beyond any ideal relationship. Even though some of my relationships did contain aspects of my daydreams, they all contained faults that were unexpected. But after trying so hard to seek out this perfect fantasy with a perfect prince, I’ve come to realize that it’s not worth searching for.

Let me explain myself. I haven’t given up on love completely, rather, I have taken on the idea of letting things happen naturally instead of searching. I previously mentioned that my life is prioritized differently these days. I find myself daydreaming about my future career, in place of a romance. I pride myself in holding on to true friends, instead of trying to rediscover a true love. I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter how many breakups you go through because they only teach you more about yourself and what you want in life. A true love will come to me someday, but until then, I’ll patiently go through the days creating meaning out of everything I do.

It’s important to do things that matter and embrace each day as a personal challenge. Let love come to you when fate decides you’re ready to take it on.

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