Why Soulmates Don’t Exist

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I was watching an episode of Friends last night (as I typically do), the episode where Phoebe finds Monica’s “soulmate”, even though Monica and Chandler are married. Despite Chandler’s nervousness about the situation, Monica told him that she doesn’t believe in soulmates. She said that her and Chandler aren’t soulmates; they fell in love by choice, and they work hard at their relationship. Many might agree with the idea of soulmates, but I personally fall into the disbelief of such a concept.

It’s hard to believe that there is a person out there who is perfectly made to be your “other half”. You would spend your whole life searching for this specific person, if that were true. I believe that there are people out there with whom you can connect with or have a lot of things in common with. I think that’s the closest you can get to the idea of a soulmate. But despite similarities to another person, you are still very different from each other, which is why falling in love can be such a wonderful thing. You can pick up on each other’s imperfections, and you can help each other get through tough times. Relationships take a lot of hard work, just as Monica stated.

If the idea of soulmates was true, then people wouldn’t necessarily have to work as hard in relationships. The word “soulmate” reflects the idea that the other person was made just for you. If this was real, then, if you found that person, they would fit into your life with no complications because they would have everything that you have ever dreamed about. What’s the point of getting what you want if you can’t work for it? There’s no passion there whatsoever.

So stop spending so much time trying to find your perfect match. Chances are, that person doesn’t necessarily exist. Now, this isn’t a negative statement, but rather a declaration of reality. If you meet someone whom you become fond of, don’t hold back just because they’re different than your dream partner. Don’t hold back just because you have a gut feeling that they’re not your “soulmate”. If you work hard enough at a relationship with that person, it will soon feel like they’re that person you’ve been “searching for” this whole time.

Relationships are complex and frustrating, but giving up is not an option. Let things happen naturally, and life will be a lot more satisfying. Whoever you fall in love with is the person that you worked hard to be with. Never forget that.

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Why Katniss and Tris are Better Role Models for Girls than Disney Princesses

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Disney princesses may be pretty, live in fairytale worlds, and get the man of their dreams, but Katniss from “The Hunger Games” saga and Tris from the “Divergent” saga can kick some serious ass. 

For one, in most Disney movies, the princess’s main goal is to find her perfect man. But in “The Hunger Games” and “Divergent”, the goal of the characters is to fight for the people of their hometown, their family, and themselves. They just happen to gain men along the way (nice perk, ya know). Both Katniss and Tris find it to be more important to have bigger goals than just searching for love.

Katniss and Tris also kick ass (as I mentioned above). Katniss is fierce with her bow and arrow, and Tris is the most fearless member of Dauntless that I’ve ever seen (because you know, I’ve seen so many members). They prove that girls and women are just as strong as men and capable of anything and everything. This is exactly what all females should learn from.

Now, I’m not saying that all females have to fight against evil and be a pro at archery. I’m saying that girls and women should strive to be the best they can be. They should have big goals and dreams. They should realize that they are meant to be more than a man’s companion. They can be anything they work towards.

So, ladies, dream big and know that you are capable of doing anything. You have limitless possibilities of what you can do in life, so be sure to put your abilities to use!

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Why Finding Prince Charming Shouldn’t Be Top Priority

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The dissolution of a seasoned romance is similar to the rotting of the leaves in the winter; sudden and ugly. But seasons change, and so do emotions. You eventually get back on your feet and pick up the pieces of your heart until another soul destroys it again, and you repeat the cycle.

This may seem like a harsh metaphorical representation of a breakup, but when you truly think about it, it’s just a normal part of life. Sure, in the moment of a breakup, you might think your life is over, and everything you’ve ever dreamed of is crushed, but honestly, that’s just the dramatization of your current emotions. You know for a fact that you’ll live, and that you’ll be fine after some time passes.

So many people have placed “finding my true love” at the top of their list of priorities. This is understandable, because from books, and films, and even real life experiences, we’ve clung on to the idea of love being the closest thing to magic (cheesy, but let’s be real, this is true). I’ve gone through my fair share of breakups, some harder than others, and I can tell you that my experiences have made me re-prioritize my life. I’ve always been the hopeless romantic daydreamer, whose expectations of a fairytale romance were beyond any ideal relationship. Even though some of my relationships did contain aspects of my daydreams, they all contained faults that were unexpected. But after trying so hard to seek out this perfect fantasy with a perfect prince, I’ve come to realize that it’s not worth searching for.

Let me explain myself. I haven’t given up on love completely, rather, I have taken on the idea of letting things happen naturally instead of searching. I previously mentioned that my life is prioritized differently these days. I find myself daydreaming about my future career, in place of a romance. I pride myself in holding on to true friends, instead of trying to rediscover a true love. I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter how many breakups you go through because they only teach you more about yourself and what you want in life. A true love will come to me someday, but until then, I’ll patiently go through the days creating meaning out of everything I do.

It’s important to do things that matter and embrace each day as a personal challenge. Let love come to you when fate decides you’re ready to take it on.

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