Looking Perfect Is Unattainable

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As I squeezed into my skinny jeans, I started to wonder if Taylor Swift ever has to squeeze into her jeans. Not only did I conclude that she pretty much never wears jeans, but I also realized that even if she is able to put on jeans with ease, why should it matter to me? Other people’s jean struggles or lack of struggles, along with other’s “perfect” or “imperfect” bodies, shouldn’t matter to me or to you.

The message being spread to women is that everyone comes in different shapes and sizes. While this message is positive and encouraging, it doesn’t always counteract the messages that society and media are really sending us. The majority of famous women are shown in a “flattering” light, meaning, Photoshop works its sickening magic to virtually delete all visible flaws. This also means that all women who view these images are given an unrealistic idea of what you have to look like in order to be thought of as attractive. In reality, not one single person looks like the women on magazine covers. Striving to be as skinny and flawless as them is a waste of time because you will ultimately be left with disappointment.

Instead of wanting to look like someone else, why not embrace the way you naturally are? As long as you’re healthy, there’s nothing wrong with being a size that society calls “ugly”. Society doesn’t know anything when it comes to true beauty. Skinny shaming and fat shaming are the worst, because it makes it seem like there’s not a size that anyone is ok with. Instead of worrying about what others think of your size, or worrying about another person’s size, you should find ways to be happy with the way you are.

Your size can never define you as a person. Your physical body doesn’t reflect your personality, so if anyone is shallow enough to dislike you because of how you look, then they don’t deserve to get to know who you are. Your waistline doesn’t tell anyone how generous you are, the size of your pants doesn’t reveal how smart you are, and the overall shape of your body doesn’t determine your capabilities in life. You shouldn’t be down on yourself just because you don’t look stereotypically “perfect”.

The next time you look in the mirror because you’re not satisfied with the way your body looks, stop for a moment and just smile at yourself. Think about all your incredible traits and all the things that make you a unique person. If you’re able to see your smile in the mirror and feel good about it, that means you’re already on your way to accepting yourself. You have to remember that size is just a minor aspect of yourself, and that it should never take over. Size doesn’t matter, you matter.

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Why You Shouldn’t Hate Your Ex’s Significant Other

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After a breakup, it can be tough moving on, and it’s even more tough trying to deal with the idea of your ex being with someone else. Once your ex starts dating someone else, your immediate reactions are:

1. “What?! How did he/she move on so soon?!”

2. “Omg their new gf/bf is so ugly!”

3. “HAHAHA he/she totally downgraded from me!”

4. “Lol, she/he has to put up with him/her now, sucks to be them.”

You see a trend here? Putting down your ex’s new flame might make you feel better in the moment, but in reality, you probably shouldn’t be doing that. In most cases, the new flame didn’t do anything to personally hurt you. Heck, chances are they might not even know you. Even though you aren’t saying these things to their face, the idea of it all is still morally repulsive. Putting someone else down just to boost your own self esteem will only result in self destruction.

Your ex is the one who chose to date someone else, so ultimately, you were hurt by them, and not by their significant other. I’m not saying you should hate your ex (because you shouldn’t hate anyone really), but I’m saying that it’s not worth it to sit there picking out the physical flaws of the new person they’re dating because it’s a waste of time. You should instead be finding ways to move on and better yourself.

It’s always tempting to creep on your ex’s Facebook (if they haven’t blocked you) or creep on his/her gf/bf, but you could be using that time more productively. You’ll just keep feeling resentment and sadness if you keep looking on their pages, so what is the actual point of looking? Do you really want to keep reminding yourself of the situation? NO! So here are some steps you can take:

1. Block your ex and his/her significant other from EVERY social media site. If they haven’t already blocked you, block them from everything ASAP so you won’t be tempted to look at anything they’re doing. Also block their number while you’re at it, because why not.

2. Stop thinking about your ex. This is easier said than done, but it is possible. You just have to immerse yourself in activities that you enjoy, such as spending time with friends, in order to keep your mind busy.

3. Understand that you will also find someone new someday, on your own time. You’ll find someone new when you’re ready, and when the time is right. Don’t worry so much about competing with your ex by trying to upgrade to a better person. Take it slow, and wait until you find someone who treats you right and who you are content with.

4. Learn how to be happy on your own before dating again. You should never live life counting on someone else to complete your happiness. Only YOU can make YOU happy, and you need to remember that.

Also just remember this: people move on, because that’s the way life is, and that should be taken as a lesson instead of a hardship.

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Why It’s Possible For Everyone To Find A Silver Lining

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This post is inspired by a recent BuzzFeed article (http://www.buzzfeed.com/carolynkylstra/silver-linings-are-real) that talks about the silver lining theory.

According to researchers at NYU, the silver lining theory, in basic terms, means to develop a strength from a weakness. Finding a silver lining means to find something positive about yourself that originally develops from one of these weaknesses that you have. I think this is an amazing theory that applies to every single human being out there (hey maybe even some animals too!). It just takes a little determination and believing in yourself in order to find your own silver lining.

Think about your biggest weakness. What does this weakness prevent you from doing? What does this weakness help you do? Now, you might be wondering how in the world a weakness can help you do anything in life, but I believe that you can find at least one positive that can come out of it. By doing so, you will be able to change your outlook on life and the way you look at yourself as well. This will allow you to live a happier and more satisfying life.

Think about the movie Silver Linings Playbook (the movie starring the ever so dashing Bradley Cooper and super spunky Jennifer Lawrence). The main character, Pat (played by Cooper), has bipolar disorder, which has negatively affected his life. He claims to have caught his wife cheating on him, and he also had to experience some other events that tore him down. But the after effect of these events prove that it’s possible to find a silver lining. He did everything he could to keep pushing through to find the positives that lay within those terrible times. His extreme situations reflect that no matter what you’re going through, it’s always possible to discover something great out of something bad. The silver lining, people!

When I read about this silver lining theory, I decided to think about it as compared to my own life. One of my weaknesses is getting overly stressed when I have too much on my plate. While I see this as a negative trait, I realize that it can also translate to the fact that I’m a hard worker and will never give up when work is given to me. Through that realization, I came to find how easy it was to find my silver lining and I would definitely apply this theory to any other weaknesses that I may have.

Like I said, anyone and everyone can find their own silver lining(s). Think about it outside the box first; take a dark room, for example. The negatives of a dark room are that it’s impossible to see anything, and it’s essentially useless because you cannot get anything done in a dark room. So what is the silver lining? Well, you need the room to be dark in order to fall asleep at night, so there’s a helpful aspect! Also, a dark room (usually) contains a light switch, in which, with the flick of a finger, you can instantly light up the whole room; an instant gratification received through an unfavorable situation.

So think about the different ways you can transform your negative thoughts into positive ones. If your greatest weakness is being too emotional, it means your strength is having a big heart. If your biggest flaw is spacing out and daydreaming when someone is trying to talk to you, your great feature is that you’re a big dreamer. Apply this theory to your own life and I promise you that you will find your own light switch even in your darkest of times.

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