How To Be Positive Without Feeling Fake

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The “fake it ’til you make it” technique when it comes to positivity is total BS. Plastering on a smile when your lips want to naturally curve downward. Posting an overly uplifting quote on Facebook when you don’t fully believe it. Telling yourself that everything is great, when in reality, everything is falling apart.

All of these things are only temporary solutions to long-term issues. You’re not going to become a genuinely happy and upbeat person if you do these things. You’re going to feel like a fraud.

However, this doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to become positive. There are many things you can do to transform yourself and your thoughts without feeling fake. Here are some ideas to get you started:

  1. Create realistic goals. Have a list of both short-term and long-term goals that you know are achievable. Make sure your goals are things that will help you grow as a person. Personalize your goals as much as possible to assure that you’re not copying general goals that people have. Having things to work towards will help you build up your mental strength and it will change your whole perspective on life. Additionally, once you reach a goal, the feeling of euphoria is a feeling that no fake smile can obtain.
  2. Have full awareness of your problems. Many people believe that ignoring a problem will make it go away, or it will make it seem like the problem just isn’t there. Ignorance is not bliss at all. If you are constantly lying to yourself and claiming that nothing is wrong, you’re doing yourself more harm than good. Sit down and take a moment to identify anything on your mind that is bothering you. You can either write everything down on paper or just sit there and think. Sorting out everything that is wrong will help you to add to your list of goals and it will help you figure out productive solutions.
  3. Remove negative people from your life. If a friend is having a negative impact on you because of his/her attitude, you should reconsider having that person in your life. It’s pointless to have a person in your life who just provides drama and stress, rather than comfort and happiness. It can be difficult to cut a friend out of your life, but in this case, you need to put yourself first. You need to truly think about the negativity this person is bringing to your life and how much it’s affecting you. In the end, it’s not worth it to stay friends with someone for his/her sake. Only keep those in your life who lift you up.
  4. Engage in “feel good” activities. You have to figure out exactly what activities make you feel happy. Exercising can naturally make everyone feel happier because of those awesome endorphins. Engaging in your favorite hobby is important because doing what you love will give instant gratification. It’s also fun to explore new hobbies and activities in order to maintain personal growth. Search the Internet for a new, unique hobby that looks interesting to you. You can even find something new to do with a significant other or a friend. It can feel great to be doing things you want to do outside of things that you have to do. Live your life the way you want to and you’ll be a lot happier.
  5. Accept failure. It’s easy to feel down after something doesn’t go the way you wanted it to. While it’s perfectly OK to let yourself feel sad about it, don’t let that feeling last forever. You have to realize that no one is perfect, and that things will not always work out. Sometimes you’re going to fail at a goal, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Obviously we all crave success over failure; however, if we never accept failure, we will never accept ourselves. The good thing about failure is that it will force you to work harder. It will make you want to change the way you do things because you don’t want to see failure again. Once you are able to accept failure, you’ll be able to have more faith in yourself to keep persevering.
  6. Allow yourself to feel every emotion freely. If you’re only forcing yourself to feel happy, all of your other emotions are going to be trapped inside you. If you never let those other emotions out, you’re going to feel even worse. It’s OK to feel negative emotions. If human beings were only capable of feeling happiness, we’d be really boring and stagnant creatures. Just imagine you’re watching a movie and the characters were always smiling and nothing ever seemed wrong. Do you know how lame that would be? Allow yourself to fully embrace every emotion that you feel, even if you aren’t used to it. If you are able to adapt to expressing all of your emotions, it’ll help you become a stronger person in the end.
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Source: http://happyproject.in/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/pablo-q2a-1.jpg

Things Old Disney Channel Shows Taught Us

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Old school Disney Channel was seriously the best thing ever because it had relatable content, even though some of it was admittedly a bit out there. Now Disney has shows about a dog who has a blog and who knows what else. I definitely feel lucky to have grown up watching such awesome shows on Disney. Here is what some of these old shows have taught us (note* there are many more old shows that were great, but I couldn’t include all of them*):

Lizzie McGuire:

Lizzie McGuire was probably the most relatable show to all young girls out there. This show kept it real by putting Lizzie in situations that a lot of girls have to deal with, such as crushing on boys, fighting with close friends, putting up with mean girls, and a lot more. I also found it interesting how they showed Lizzie’s thoughts and conscience through her mini cartoon look-alike. This also made the show even more relatable because it made Lizzie seem like a real person going through real things, instead of being a fictional character that no one believed in. (Also, the Aaron Carter Christmas episode was just, like, the best thing ever).

Even Stevens:

Louis was a sneaky wild child, while Ren was a goody goody perfectionist, so it made sense that these siblings were always butting heads. This show taught us a lot about the ins and outs of family, such as sibling rivalries along with the importance of loving your siblings. They showed us that even though you may not get along with your siblings all the time, they are still your family and will be there for you no matter what. It’s true that these characters got themselves into many crazy situations, but despite some minor unrealistic qualities, it still contained valuable lessons. (We also learned that we went to the moon in 1969, and we’ll never forget it thanks to that catchy song).

Hannah Montana:

Okay, so most people don’t live a double life, but Hannah Montana taught us a lot about friendships, family, relationships, and finding your true self. Throughout the show, Miley has difficulties keeping up with her double life, and from the help of her friends, her dad, and her brother, she overcomes any problems she had to go through. The Hannah Montana movie was the ending of the series, where Miley decides to reveal to people that she was indeed living this double life, because she didn’t want to do it anymore. She taught us that being yourself is the greatest thing you can be. (We also learned that “Nobody’s Perfect” ;D).

That’s So Raven:

That’s So Raven brought up a lot of important issues throughout the course of the show. One episode that stood out was the one where Raven designed a dress and she was set to be the model for it in a fashion show, but they wanted a skinnier model instead of her. Raven ended up doing the fashion show anyway, teaching us that loving your body the way it is is important, along with the lesson that all body types are beautiful. Another very important episode was the one where Raven and Chelsea applied to work at a clothing store, and only Chelsea got the job. Raven discovered that the owner of the store didn’t hire black people, and Raven worked hard to take down the owner to fight for her rights. I believe it was one of the biggest times that Disney Channel had brought up the issues of racism, and that’s why it was so important. (Raven was also pretty rad because she saw the future).

The Suite Life of Zack and Cody:

Zack and Cody got into a lot of trouble with their shenanigans in the hotel, but each main character in this show taught us something. Cody was known as the smart/nerdy twin, and he showed us that it’s ok to no be popular or “cool” because your friends and family will love you anyway. Zack was known as the cool, carefree twin, and he showed us the importance of learning from your mistakes and growing as a person. Maddie was the hard working perfectionist who taught us that hard work really does pay off, and it’s also ok to mess up sometimes. London was known as the dimwitted, greedy princess, who taught us that even if you aren’t as smart as everyone else, your other strengths make you awesome, and your flaws can only teach you valuable lessons. (They also showed us how freakin’ cool it would be to live in a hotel!).

Why You Shouldn’t Hate Your Ex’s Significant Other

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After a breakup, it can be tough moving on, and it’s even more tough trying to deal with the idea of your ex being with someone else. Once your ex starts dating someone else, your immediate reactions are:

1. “What?! How did he/she move on so soon?!”

2. “Omg their new gf/bf is so ugly!”

3. “HAHAHA he/she totally downgraded from me!”

4. “Lol, she/he has to put up with him/her now, sucks to be them.”

You see a trend here? Putting down your ex’s new flame might make you feel better in the moment, but in reality, you probably shouldn’t be doing that. In most cases, the new flame didn’t do anything to personally hurt you. Heck, chances are they might not even know you. Even though you aren’t saying these things to their face, the idea of it all is still morally repulsive. Putting someone else down just to boost your own self esteem will only result in self destruction.

Your ex is the one who chose to date someone else, so ultimately, you were hurt by them, and not by their significant other. I’m not saying you should hate your ex (because you shouldn’t hate anyone really), but I’m saying that it’s not worth it to sit there picking out the physical flaws of the new person they’re dating because it’s a waste of time. You should instead be finding ways to move on and better yourself.

It’s always tempting to creep on your ex’s Facebook (if they haven’t blocked you) or creep on his/her gf/bf, but you could be using that time more productively. You’ll just keep feeling resentment and sadness if you keep looking on their pages, so what is the actual point of looking? Do you really want to keep reminding yourself of the situation? NO! So here are some steps you can take:

1. Block your ex and his/her significant other from EVERY social media site. If they haven’t already blocked you, block them from everything ASAP so you won’t be tempted to look at anything they’re doing. Also block their number while you’re at it, because why not.

2. Stop thinking about your ex. This is easier said than done, but it is possible. You just have to immerse yourself in activities that you enjoy, such as spending time with friends, in order to keep your mind busy.

3. Understand that you will also find someone new someday, on your own time. You’ll find someone new when you’re ready, and when the time is right. Don’t worry so much about competing with your ex by trying to upgrade to a better person. Take it slow, and wait until you find someone who treats you right and who you are content with.

4. Learn how to be happy on your own before dating again. You should never live life counting on someone else to complete your happiness. Only YOU can make YOU happy, and you need to remember that.

Also just remember this: people move on, because that’s the way life is, and that should be taken as a lesson instead of a hardship.

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20 Things We Can Learn From Dogs

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1. It’s okay to be lazy sometimes.

2. Being friendly makes you likeable.

3. Going out for a walk can make you feel great!

4. It’s important to be crazy sometimes!

5. Cuddling is a wonderful thing.

6. You need to make sure you smile a lot!

7. Be proud of your special talents.

8. Always cherish your family.

9. Treat yourself every once in awhile!

10. You’re never too old to have stuffed animals.

11. Befriend everyone, no matter how different they are from you. 

12. Live fearlessly!

13. Drink a lot of water.

14. Always check out new things!

15. Cheer someone up when they’re feeling down.

16. It’s always better to stand out than fit in!

17. Help anyone in need.

18. Never give up on your goals.

19. Take time to enjoy nature. 

20. Love unconditionally. 

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20 Things I’ve Learned From Taylor Swift

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1. You have to shake off the haters.

2. You shouldn’t care what people think of you.

3. Love can be amazing.

4. But being single is also awesome!

5. Always treat people well.

6. Relationships aren’t like fairytales.

7. It’s important to have fun with friends.

8. It’s okay to be sad sometimes.

9. It’s also okay to be angry sometimes.

10. A touch of red lipstick is a touch of fun.

11. If you let go of the past, you’ll feel renewed.

12. You’re not living life right unless you’re a little bit goofy.

13. Love can start over even when all hope is lost.

14. Being fearless means to face your fears.

15. Once you breakup with someone, don’t get back together; you broke up for a reason!

16. Sometimes you just have to make fun of yourself.

17. Always have big dreams.

18. Never give up.

19. Your friends will always be by your side.

20. Always stay humble.

Is The Glass Half-Full or Half-Empty?

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When asked the question “Is the glass half full or half empty?”, many would agree that optimists say the glass is half full. I like to say that the glass is always full. When dealing with technicalities,   the glass is half filled with water, and half filled with air; there is no room for “nothingness” in the glass.

Metaphorically relating this to life, I interpret this as “life is always filled with positivity”. I believe that there is always something positive that a person can find in their life, but they have to make the choice to find it. It’s important to seek out these positives because otherwise you’ll live your whole life going down the rollercoaster, rather than going up.

When going through a rough time in life, most people just want to give up because they’ve lost all hope. But what they don’t realize is that there is always hope as long as you believe there is. There’s never a valid excuse for someone to give up when life suddenly becomes a little darker. Put some damn batteries in your flashlight and find your way out!

Happiness is something that we all want most in life, yet some people don’t even try to achieve it. I feel as if those people are just afraid to fall down even more along the way, so they don’t bother to change their life. But it’s important to do things that you’re afraid of because otherwise you will never amount to anything. So just wake up and say, “I’m going to push all my fears behind me and begin my journey to happiness!”

Positivity and happiness are not overrated. They are two things that people need in order to live a healthy life. So if you want to be healthy and happy, absolutely nothing is stopping you except for yourself! You have to make the first move and you have to make the decision to be positive.

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Things Each “Pretty Little Liar” Teaches Us

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“Pretty Little Liars” has a wide range of characters that differ from one another, which allows viewers to relate to and learn from certain people on the show. I’ve decided to go through the 5 main girls and pick out a couple things that each of them teach us about life.

Spencer Hastings:

Spencer teaches us a lot about determination. Even when times get rough, you keep going until you succeed. Spencer plays Miss Detective all the time when it comes to searching through clues about “A”, and she doesn’t stop, even when all hope is lost. She uses her smarts and intuition in order to keep continuing her mission. She also teaches us that it’s ok to mess up sometimes because nobody is perfect!

Aria Montgomery:

Aria teaches us that it’s better to stand out than blend in. She reflects this mainly through her charismatic fashion choices, in which she proudly wears no matter how different she looks from everyone else. She also teaches us about love and passion with the help of her teacher….I mean, boyfriend, Ezra Fitz. So much has happened between the two of them but her actions show that if you truly love someone, you won’t let anything or anyone stand in the way; you’ll make it happen.

Hanna Marin:

Hannah teaches us that you don’t have to be serious all the time. In pretty much every episode, Hanna always has at least one hilarious line that cuts the tension and drama out of everyone’s lives in the moment. I’ve always thought that she has the greatest lines out of all the characters. With her silliness, she also adds on to Aria’s life lesson of not caring what people think about you.

Emily Fields:

Emily teaches us that it’s okay to be your true self because family and true friends will accept you. She was afraid to come out as gay to anyone because she didn’t know what they would think. But when she finally came out, both her parents and her friends accepted her for who she is, because they care about her. Her strength and openness is something that anyone and everyone can look up to.

Allison DiLaurentis:

Allison teaches us how to be strong. Even though we are quickly seeing that she is seemingly just a complete psycho bitch, we can still say that she is a strong person just from everything she had to go through. While we may no longer feel sorry for her, we can still all admit that she’s stronger than most of us would be in the situations she dealt with.

There are many more lessons that each character teaches us, depending on how each viewer personally depicts them. A huge lesson that each of these characters teach us is the importance of friendship. They have stuck together through everything, despite some serious fights that broke out between some of them, which shows that it’s important to be there for your friends especially in times of need. (Although, Allison doesn’t really reflect the kind of friend a person would like to have, so I’ll leave her out of this one).

Whether you watch the show or not, I believe that these are some important life lessons that everyone can take with them!

*BONUS*

Here is a cute little collage I found with lessons learned from the boys of PLL: