Why It’s Okay To “Play The Field”

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A girl who dates around a lot is typically called a whore, while a guy who does this is called a player. We stereotype these people as serial daters, making them sound like killers, which is a bit extreme. If you don’t truly hurt anyone in the process of “playing the field” should it actually be considered taboo?

If you’re not committed to anyone, you’re completely free to date whoever you would like to date. Whether you don’t want to be tied down, or you just want to explore your options, dating around is a great way to find out what type of person is right for you. It allows you to get to know a variety of people in the world, and maybe you will be able find your match during this process.

In this generation, relationships are formed faster than the snap of a rubber band. Typically, a couple becomes “official” after only a couple weeks of dating. We have become a fast paced society, so this seems normal to us, but is it actually healthy? When we jump into a relationship, we are faced with difficulties because we learn more about the other person that we didn’t have time to learn beforehand. It makes me wonder what dating was like years ago, when a boy would ask a girl to go steady, only after giving himself the proper amount of time to know if she was the one. I’m sure relationships still had their flaws back then, but maybe they were still stronger.

Going on various dates can help you see what’s out there, rather than shutting yourself out because of one person who seems perfect at the time. Sure, you’ll eventually have to choose someone out of all these people that you meet, but that doesn’t mean you should choose the first person you lay your eyes on. Even if you just go on a few different dates, you can let yourself see the differences in people, and you can learn more about yourself too. You can learn about what you’re actually looking for and see what specific things you like about people.

I think “playing the field” has such a bad reputation surrounding it because of the way society has defined it. Society thinks that it means sleeping around, or even being unfaithful, but it doesn’t have to have those meanings at all, as long as you are doing it in a classy manner. You don’t have to commit yourself to someone right off the bat just because you think they have potential. Look around, and you could possibly find someone else with even more potential.

Think of it as a metaphorical representation of a soccer field. If you’re on offense, you’re not just standing in one spot the whole time, because that wouldn’t do anything for you. You’re running up and down the field trying to accomplish a goal. Ahem, “playing the field”. If you’re just sticking to one person before attempting to meet other people, you might not reach your goal.

There are many exceptions to this, so this is why I’m not forcefully telling you that you should play the field or else you’re going to fail in life. I’m just saying that it’s perfectly normal and perfectly okay to explore your options, especially if you’re unsure about being with someone. If you meet someone and you truly know from the bottom of your heart that he/she is the one, then okay, go for it! But don’t look at the people who play the field and automatically pull a red flag on them. They just choose to spend more time searching for that special person.

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Why Soulmates Don’t Exist

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I was watching an episode of Friends last night (as I typically do), the episode where Phoebe finds Monica’s “soulmate”, even though Monica and Chandler are married. Despite Chandler’s nervousness about the situation, Monica told him that she doesn’t believe in soulmates. She said that her and Chandler aren’t soulmates; they fell in love by choice, and they work hard at their relationship. Many might agree with the idea of soulmates, but I personally fall into the disbelief of such a concept.

It’s hard to believe that there is a person out there who is perfectly made to be your “other half”. You would spend your whole life searching for this specific person, if that were true. I believe that there are people out there with whom you can connect with or have a lot of things in common with. I think that’s the closest you can get to the idea of a soulmate. But despite similarities to another person, you are still very different from each other, which is why falling in love can be such a wonderful thing. You can pick up on each other’s imperfections, and you can help each other get through tough times. Relationships take a lot of hard work, just as Monica stated.

If the idea of soulmates was true, then people wouldn’t necessarily have to work as hard in relationships. The word “soulmate” reflects the idea that the other person was made just for you. If this was real, then, if you found that person, they would fit into your life with no complications because they would have everything that you have ever dreamed about. What’s the point of getting what you want if you can’t work for it? There’s no passion there whatsoever.

So stop spending so much time trying to find your perfect match. Chances are, that person doesn’t necessarily exist. Now, this isn’t a negative statement, but rather a declaration of reality. If you meet someone whom you become fond of, don’t hold back just because they’re different than your dream partner. Don’t hold back just because you have a gut feeling that they’re not your “soulmate”. If you work hard enough at a relationship with that person, it will soon feel like they’re that person you’ve been “searching for” this whole time.

Relationships are complex and frustrating, but giving up is not an option. Let things happen naturally, and life will be a lot more satisfying. Whoever you fall in love with is the person that you worked hard to be with. Never forget that.

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Things Each “Pretty Little Liar” Teaches Us

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“Pretty Little Liars” has a wide range of characters that differ from one another, which allows viewers to relate to and learn from certain people on the show. I’ve decided to go through the 5 main girls and pick out a couple things that each of them teach us about life.

Spencer Hastings:

Spencer teaches us a lot about determination. Even when times get rough, you keep going until you succeed. Spencer plays Miss Detective all the time when it comes to searching through clues about “A”, and she doesn’t stop, even when all hope is lost. She uses her smarts and intuition in order to keep continuing her mission. She also teaches us that it’s ok to mess up sometimes because nobody is perfect!

Aria Montgomery:

Aria teaches us that it’s better to stand out than blend in. She reflects this mainly through her charismatic fashion choices, in which she proudly wears no matter how different she looks from everyone else. She also teaches us about love and passion with the help of her teacher….I mean, boyfriend, Ezra Fitz. So much has happened between the two of them but her actions show that if you truly love someone, you won’t let anything or anyone stand in the way; you’ll make it happen.

Hanna Marin:

Hannah teaches us that you don’t have to be serious all the time. In pretty much every episode, Hanna always has at least one hilarious line that cuts the tension and drama out of everyone’s lives in the moment. I’ve always thought that she has the greatest lines out of all the characters. With her silliness, she also adds on to Aria’s life lesson of not caring what people think about you.

Emily Fields:

Emily teaches us that it’s okay to be your true self because family and true friends will accept you. She was afraid to come out as gay to anyone because she didn’t know what they would think. But when she finally came out, both her parents and her friends accepted her for who she is, because they care about her. Her strength and openness is something that anyone and everyone can look up to.

Allison DiLaurentis:

Allison teaches us how to be strong. Even though we are quickly seeing that she is seemingly just a complete psycho bitch, we can still say that she is a strong person just from everything she had to go through. While we may no longer feel sorry for her, we can still all admit that she’s stronger than most of us would be in the situations she dealt with.

There are many more lessons that each character teaches us, depending on how each viewer personally depicts them. A huge lesson that each of these characters teach us is the importance of friendship. They have stuck together through everything, despite some serious fights that broke out between some of them, which shows that it’s important to be there for your friends especially in times of need. (Although, Allison doesn’t really reflect the kind of friend a person would like to have, so I’ll leave her out of this one).

Whether you watch the show or not, I believe that these are some important life lessons that everyone can take with them!

*BONUS*

Here is a cute little collage I found with lessons learned from the boys of PLL: