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Feminism has become a controversial topic mainly because of the false definitions that people give it. A lot of people out there truly believe that feminism involves hatred against men, yet this is completely untrue. I think a lot people are believing this because there are people out there who claim to be feminists and they also claim to hate men, which ultimately puts out a bad name for feminism as a whole. Misandrists are “men haters”, while feminists are equality lovers.
Feminism is not about hating men, or hating anyone for that matter. It simply stands for gender equality. While many might argue that feminism is more of fighting for women’s rights, which is partially true, it also just fights for equal rights for both women and men.
Our country has evolved through the years, but there are still many issues with gender inequality. A huge one is unequal pay. In most companies, women only get paid 78% of what men get paid, even if they are doing the exact same job. This wage gap not only makes no sense, but it’s also completely unfair. Why should a woman be paid less than a man if she is doing the same amount of work as him, and is just as equally educated? Equal pay isn’t really an outlandish request, it’s more so requesting something just.
Another aspect of gender inequality in the workforce is superiority. These days, we do see more women becoming CEO’s and managers, but there still seems to be a larger amount of men in higher positions. This could either be due to the fact that men are more likely to be hired, or it could be due to the fact that women are afraid to apply for higher positions. Either way, it’s a noticeable factor. Women and men should both be able to equally receive high positions if they both have the same qualifications and skills.
There are many internet trolls out there who created the term “meninism” as an opposing force to feminism. Meninism mocks feminism in many ways, and jokes around about men needing more rights. This new term was created by people who don’t understand the true meaning of feminism, as mentioned earlier. “Meninists” think that feminists believe in women having more power than men, which is, again, far from the truth.
To understand this topic better, use the term “gender equality” instead of “feminism”. Although, it doesn’t necessarily matter what term you use, because the general concept is what is really important. Why should one gender be superior over another? Who even decided that in the first place? We are all just people, and we should all be treated equally and respectfully.
College is first seen as a time of studying hard and working towards a career. While this is accurate, the overall college experience gives people the opportunity to learn more than just what they read in textbooks. College students learn all these extra little things without even realizing it. Here are some of the things that they learn:
1. How to find true friends. This lesson usually doesn’t come right off the bat because when you’re starting out as a freshman, everyone is new and everyone wants to hang out. But over the years, you come to find who is truly your friend and who is not. College allows you to differentiate between a true friend and a fake friend, which is something that develops with time.
2. How to have a stable relationship. College relationships are way more serious than they are in high school. If you go through some crappy relationships during college, you are able to learn what you can do differently in future relationships in order to make them more stable. If you have secured yourself in a serious relationship in college, you learn how to maintain it, and throughout the relationship, you learn how to make it better. College is a time for maturing, and understanding how to resolve conflict with others.
3. How to have fun. Even though you have to be serious when it comes to classwork, college is a time for going out and doing fun things. You learn that it’s perfectly okay to give yourself a break once in awhile, because having fun is a crucial part of life.
4. How to take care of yourself. This refers to many different aspects of taking care of yourself, from learning how to essentially live on your own, to eating well and exercising. Usually freshman year, you don’t care much about eating healthy and getting enough sleep, but over the years you realize how important these things are.
5. How to be responsible. Responsibility is a huge part of college because not only are you responsible for getting your homework done in time, but you also have outside responsibilities that come along with your independence. As more responsibilities get thrown on you throughout the years, you learn how to be a more organized individual.
6. How to work with others. You’ve been taught at a young age how to work with others, but it really sinks in during college. This is mainly because you get stuck doing group projects and working with people who you might not get along with. Being put in situations like these allow you to become more mature, and learn how to work with people who are different from you.
7. How to try new things. College is a time where new opportunities fly at you from every angle. Being in a new place on your own allows you to branch out a bit more than you’re used to. This is a good thing because it opens you up to new interests and new things that you might have never even tried before.
8. How to ask for help. During your college years, you come to realize that it’s perfectly okay to ask for help when you’re lost or confused. This can range from getting help on schoolwork to getting help with personal problems. This is something you learn because you’re maturing and realizing that getting help isn’t a bad thing, it’s only another thing that contributes to your growth.
9. How to be involved. Colleges have so many different organizations that you’re bound to have found at least one that you belong to. This involvement gives you some experiences that you might not have had without college. It also helps you meet new people who are interested in similar things to you, and sometimes these people can become your life-long friends.
10. How to find yourself. Essentially, college is the time in your life where you find out what you want to do in your future. With that, comes finding yourself. During college, you’ll sometimes lose yourself during your journey, and you might not have even completely found yourself by the time you graduate. But this doesn’t mean that you will never find yourself. You can take everything you’ve learned in college and apply it to your life, while continuing on your journey after graduation.
Quote Of The Day:
It’s that time of the year again when people are shelling out money for flowers, chocolates, cheesy greeting cards, expensive gifts, and fancy dinners. It’s also that time of year when the majority of single people in the world get cranky, annoyed, upset, and/or angry. This set of emotions tends to happen because they either wish they had someone to share Valentine’s Day with, they’re jealous of the couples who are celebrating, they hate the whole idea of Valentine’s Day, or a combination of two or more of these things.
What makes single people act so cynical toward Valentine’s Day? Sure, many would say that it’s a manufactured holiday that just gives Hallmark and other companies a jump up in revenue, but it’s also a day that is special to some people. There are many different things you can do to be a happier single person on Valentine’s Day.
If you are one of those people who are so focused on Valentine’s Day and you wish you had someone to spend the holiday with, there are plenty of things you can do to distract yourself. You can spend that time hanging out with your other single friends, and do something fun and exciting. If you are in a situation where you’ll be alone on Valentine’s Day, don’t be afraid! You can be your own Valentine! As lame as this sounds, it’s actually nice to treat yourself to anything you want. Go out and buy yourself chocolates and nice wine. Put in some comedic DVDs (not romantic ones that will make you cry!) and laugh as loud as you want. Spending Valentine’s Day without a special someone does not have to be as pathetic as you make it out to be. Treat yoself!
If you’re someone who easily gets jealous of all the posts on Facebook that people share about what their significant other got them/did for them on Valentine’s Day, I have one simple solution: STOP LOOKING. Force yourself to stay off all social media for that whole day, and distract yourself with better things. If you don’t want to see all the lovey-dovey couples out on Valentine’s Day, then go buy yourself something nice and have a fun night in to yourself, or with friends. Stop inserting yourself into situations that will make you feel worse about being single!
If you’re the ultimate Valentine’s Day cynic who despises this holiday and trashes it along with whoever celebrates it, you need to stop. Just because you think the holiday is stupid, doesn’t mean that people who celebrate it are stupid. Some people look forward to celebrating Valentine’s Day, and you shouldn’t let that bother you and your opinions. Let people do what they want, because everyone has different views on this day. Don’t put anyone down for the way they celebrate. You do you, they’ll do them, and that’s how it’s supposed to be!
All in all, you have to understand that it’s perfectly okay to be single. Whether you treat Valentine’s Day as just another day, or if you acknowledge it as a holiday, you’re the same person on February 14th as you are on any other day. Valentine’s Day isn’t meant for kicking single people to the curb while the happy couples rejoice. It’s a day where you should appreciate everyone in your life, regardless of your relationship status. You’ll feel a whole lot better if you don’t let Valentine’s Day affect you in a negative way.
Quote Of The Day:
Senior year of college can be a stressful time. Not only are you trying to figure out your fast approaching future, but you’re also dreading the fact that you have to leave all these wonderful friends you made over the years. Even though senior year is scary, it can also be your best year of college if you let it be.
1. Get involved in as many activities as you can. Join a school organization that you’ve always wanted to join, or even try something new that is out of your comfort zone. Make the most out of the last of your college experience!
2. Spend as much time with friends as possible. This is especially important if you are your friends are all going separate ways after graduation. You want to spend a lot of time with them so that way you’ll stay close friends after school is done.
3. Stop worrying about the little things. If you spend too much time worrying about every little thing, you’re using up valuable time. Instead, focus on all the good things in life and take advantage of them.
4. Party it up. Get all your college-style partying in NOW because you’re just going to look like an idiot if you do it after college. If you don’t like to party/drink, have your own kind of party with something you enjoy. Have a movie night, with lots of pizza and too many cookies, and sit under a blanket fort. GO WILD!
5. Explore. Go with your friends and find at least one new place that you have never been before. Even if your college is surrounded by nothing exciting, attempt to find something and make it exciting. You know you’re going to miss that place when you leave.
6. Don’t get too stressed about your classes. You have more important things to focus on! But at the same time, don’t let senioritis take over to the point of not even wanting to try. Find a balance and stick with it!
7. Let go of any people who are negatively affecting your life. This is the time when you can finally realize who should be in your life and who shouldn’t be. Don’t stick with people who are just going to bring you down. It’s not only a waste of time, but it also gives you unnecessary problems.
8. Don’t freak out about your post-graduation plans. I know this is tough to follow, but if you get overly panicked about your future, you won’t be able to calm down enough to actually focus. Just know that basically every senior in college goes through the same thing, and you’re not alone. You’ll figure it out soon enough.
9. Immerse yourself in things that you love doing. Whether you have a hobby that you enjoy, or a certain activity, do as much of it as you can. It’s really important to enjoy yourself because that will make you happy. Plus, you’ll have more free time now than you will after college, so use it up!
10. Just be you. By now, you’ve pretty much found yourself for the most part, so don’t ever try to be someone that you’re not. Go through life day to day and be as true to yourself as you can be. You’ll feel so much happier by just simply being yourself.
Quote Of The Day:
Taylor Swift is the queen of angry and sad breakup songs, but she is also wonderful at releasing songs dealing with new beginnings and positivity. I decided to look through all the Taylor songs that I own (a lot of songs….like over 100!) and post the ones that I feel best give off an upbeat/positive vibe. Whether you’re a fan of hers or not, at least take a listen to some of these:
Begin Again is all about starting a new relationship after you’ve been trying to move on from your ex. It reflects the wonderful feelings you can get once you let go and try something new with someone else.
Hey Stephen is a song that you would totally sing to that cute boy you have a crush on. He may have all these girls pining after him but hey, you’re totally positive that you’re the one for him.
Change is a great song because you can relate it to almost anything you’re going through. If you’re going through a rough time just know that “these things will change” and times will get better.
Fearless is another song about starting new with someone. Being “fearless” with someone means to let go and dive in and see how wonderful it can be.
Jump Then Fall:
Jump Then Fall reflects a song about liking a guy and telling him that he doesn’t have to be afraid of any consequences of falling for you. This can also reflect the idea that you shouldn’t be afraid of falling for someone just because you’re afraid of getting hurt. You just go for it and see what happens!
22 is a great song to dance to with your friends because it’s all about having fun and not having a care in the world. This song is especially awesome to jam out to if you’re a single lady because it’ll make you just want to appreciate your life and not worry about anything.
We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together:
We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together is a wonderful song for someone who has recently gone through a breakup and is like, soo done. Not only is it a fun song to dance to, but it’s one of those breakup songs that doesn’t make you want to cry, but instead makes you smile and sing a long.
Everything Has Changed:
Everything Has Changed not only features the beautiful voice of Ed Sheeran, but it also contains lyrics about finding someone new. It marks those first feelings you have when you start to fall for someone and how amazing it truly is.
Mean is a song you can jam out to when you want to tell the haters what’s up. It reflects the fact that there are going to be people out there who may not like you or appreciate you, but you shouldn’t care because you are going to do great things in life, while those people waste their time putting you down.
Long Live can be interpreted in many different ways, but I feel like it has an overall vibe to it. Taylor wrote it specifically about her fans, and how grateful she is for all the experiences she has had going on tour and becoming successful with her music. It just has a great feel to it and can instantly brighten your mood.
Sweeter Than Fiction:
Sweeter Than Fiction was a song that Taylor wrote for a movie, and isn’t very well known by everyone, but I still think it’s an amazing song. It’s about someone who struggles to find someone to believe in them, and keeps on failing at what they’re trying to pursue, but should keep on trying, because eventually they’ll make it. It’s a great motivational song for anyone who is trying to work hard towards something.
Shake It Off:
Shake It Off is not only a fun song to dance around your room to, but it also just makes you feel good in general. It’s basically about not caring what the haters (or anyone) thinks of you because you know you’re awesome. Just shake it off!
Blank Space is a fun song because in it, Taylor is essentially making fun of herself for being known as a serial dater, and she is telling the next guy that she’ll add his name to her list of ex lovers. Whether you relate to this insanity or not, it’s a great song to listen to when you want to just sing and be in a better mood.
Quote Of The Day:
After a breakup, it can be tough moving on, and it’s even more tough trying to deal with the idea of your ex being with someone else. Once your ex starts dating someone else, your immediate reactions are:
1. “What?! How did he/she move on so soon?!”
2. “Omg their new gf/bf is so ugly!”
3. “HAHAHA he/she totally downgraded from me!”
4. “Lol, she/he has to put up with him/her now, sucks to be them.”
You see a trend here? Putting down your ex’s new flame might make you feel better in the moment, but in reality, you probably shouldn’t be doing that. In most cases, the new flame didn’t do anything to personally hurt you. Heck, chances are they might not even know you. Even though you aren’t saying these things to their face, the idea of it all is still morally repulsive. Putting someone else down just to boost your own self esteem will only result in self destruction.
Your ex is the one who chose to date someone else, so ultimately, you were hurt by them, and not by their significant other. I’m not saying you should hate your ex (because you shouldn’t hate anyone really), but I’m saying that it’s not worth it to sit there picking out the physical flaws of the new person they’re dating because it’s a waste of time. You should instead be finding ways to move on and better yourself.
It’s always tempting to creep on your ex’s Facebook (if they haven’t blocked you) or creep on his/her gf/bf, but you could be using that time more productively. You’ll just keep feeling resentment and sadness if you keep looking on their pages, so what is the actual point of looking? Do you really want to keep reminding yourself of the situation? NO! So here are some steps you can take:
1. Block your ex and his/her significant other from EVERY social media site. If they haven’t already blocked you, block them from everything ASAP so you won’t be tempted to look at anything they’re doing. Also block their number while you’re at it, because why not.
2. Stop thinking about your ex. This is easier said than done, but it is possible. You just have to immerse yourself in activities that you enjoy, such as spending time with friends, in order to keep your mind busy.
3. Understand that you will also find someone new someday, on your own time. You’ll find someone new when you’re ready, and when the time is right. Don’t worry so much about competing with your ex by trying to upgrade to a better person. Take it slow, and wait until you find someone who treats you right and who you are content with.
4. Learn how to be happy on your own before dating again. You should never live life counting on someone else to complete your happiness. Only YOU can make YOU happy, and you need to remember that.
Also just remember this: people move on, because that’s the way life is, and that should be taken as a lesson instead of a hardship.
Quote Of The Day:
1. Pay for someone else’s meal/drink.
Whether you’re in a Starbucks drive-thru or a sit-down restaurant, tell the staff that you want to pay for another person’s order. The term “pay it forward” can come into play here :).
Volunteer at a soup kitchen, or a children’s hospital, or any other organization that gives back. Not only will you make others feel better, but you’ll feel pretty great doing it!
3. Hide some money somewhere in a store.
It doesn’t have to be hundreds of dollars, especially if you’re short on money these days. Even leaving just a few dollars somewhere can bring some excitement and joy to someone’s day.
4. Attach money to a vending machine with a kind note.
Leave enough money for someone to make a purchase and attach a short note saying something like, “Buy something sweet, on me!” Again, this small gesture can make someone’s day.
5. Pay someone with a compliment.
If you really need to save money, you can pay someone in a different way: with a compliment! Let’s say you’re waiting in line at a store. Say something nice to the person in front of you or behind you. Even the smallest compliment can make someone feel amazing.
6. Donate to an organization.
There are so many great organizations out there, so pick one that’s close to your heart and donate! Even just a small donation still makes a difference.
7. Help an elderly person (or anyone) carry groceries to his/her car.
If you see someone struggling to get groceries to his/her car, offer to help them out! As long as you don’t ask in a creepy way, chances are, they’ll be grateful for your help!
8. Give coffee to a homeless person.
Unfortunately, these days it’s sometimes hard to trust a homeless person with your money because there are some scammers out there. It’s a sad fact, but we know that it’s true. So instead, go to the nearest coffee shop and buy a coffee or hot chocolate for them. It’s an especially nice gesture for a cold winter day.
9. Write a nice note and leave it in a random book at the library.
It could be a random book, or maybe it could be your favorite book. Come up with something wonderful to write and stick it in a random page. Chances are, you won’t get to see a person’s reaction to it, but just the thought of it will bring you joy.
10. Leave a sweet note on a random person’s car.
Again, you might not get to see the person’s reaction to it, but it’s something incredibly kind and unexpected.
11. Make conversation with a store clerk (if it’s a slow day!).
It doesn’t even have to be a full-length conversation, just ask them how their day is going, or how long they’ve been working there. Friendliness is easily passed around :).
12. Resolve a past conflict.
This sounds like a large task but it doesn’t have to be that difficult. It’s not worth it going through life with enemies. Figure out a way to solve a past conflict with someone, and you’ll feel so much better. You don’t have to become friends with that person, but at least just agree to be civil. You’ll feel a whole lot of satisfaction!
13. Give out free hugs.
This one sounds silly, but I always thought it was a cute idea. I’ve seen YouTube videos of people who wear a shirt or hold a sign that says “Free Hugs”, and they stand in the middle of their campus, or somewhere else in their town. I think it’s a great idea because let’s face it, everyone needs a hug! A hug a day keeps the negativity away!
14. Have a free lemonade and/or cookie stand (or hot chocolate in the winter).
I know you like to make profit, but if you give out free food and drinks, it can make people have a better day! This simple task can bring a smile to at least one person’s face.
15. Offer to help tutor a classmate for free.
Let’s face it, college kids are notoriously broke, yet they also want to do well in school. If you have time, and you would consider yourself well-rounded in that class, offer assistance to a struggling classmate. It will make them feel more confident, and hey, maybe you’ll make a new friend in the process!
16. Make a purchase at Goodwill/Salvation Army/another resale shop.
Make sure you understand the cause before you go to the store, so that way you know what your money is going towards.
17. Go around your campus or around your town telling people genuine compliments.
Again, I got this idea from YouTube, and it’s a bit more time-consuming than other things on this list, but the reactions you’ll get from others is priceless.
18. Donate old clothes/other items.
Instead of just throwing out clothes that don’t fit anymore, donate them to an organization that gives them to people in need. It’s a much better option knowing that someone else will get use out of your unwanted things.
19. Gather up some friends and clean up your favorite local park (or other areas!).
Being kind to the environment ultimately helps you be kind to others because a clean environment = healthier, happier people.
20. Bake something tasty for your neighbors.
Whether you are best friends with your neighbors, or complete strangers, surprising them with baked goods is a great way to brighten their day! Maybe they’ll even invite you over to eat some of your treats with them!
Quote Of The Day:
I was watching an episode of Friends last night (as I typically do), the episode where Phoebe finds Monica’s “soulmate”, even though Monica and Chandler are married. Despite Chandler’s nervousness about the situation, Monica told him that she doesn’t believe in soulmates. She said that her and Chandler aren’t soulmates; they fell in love by choice, and they work hard at their relationship. Many might agree with the idea of soulmates, but I personally fall into the disbelief of such a concept.
It’s hard to believe that there is a person out there who is perfectly made to be your “other half”. You would spend your whole life searching for this specific person, if that were true. I believe that there are people out there with whom you can connect with or have a lot of things in common with. I think that’s the closest you can get to the idea of a soulmate. But despite similarities to another person, you are still very different from each other, which is why falling in love can be such a wonderful thing. You can pick up on each other’s imperfections, and you can help each other get through tough times. Relationships take a lot of hard work, just as Monica stated.
If the idea of soulmates was true, then people wouldn’t necessarily have to work as hard in relationships. The word “soulmate” reflects the idea that the other person was made just for you. If this was real, then, if you found that person, they would fit into your life with no complications because they would have everything that you have ever dreamed about. What’s the point of getting what you want if you can’t work for it? There’s no passion there whatsoever.
So stop spending so much time trying to find your perfect match. Chances are, that person doesn’t necessarily exist. Now, this isn’t a negative statement, but rather a declaration of reality. If you meet someone whom you become fond of, don’t hold back just because they’re different than your dream partner. Don’t hold back just because you have a gut feeling that they’re not your “soulmate”. If you work hard enough at a relationship with that person, it will soon feel like they’re that person you’ve been “searching for” this whole time.
Relationships are complex and frustrating, but giving up is not an option. Let things happen naturally, and life will be a lot more satisfying. Whoever you fall in love with is the person that you worked hard to be with. Never forget that.
Quote Of The Day:
So every year, you make a pact to yourself to do everything on your list of resolutions, and then at the end of the year you realize that you have barely accomplished anything on that list. So why do you keep continuing that cycle? New Year’s resolutions are so overrated. You don’t need to make a list of things like “lose weight” or “use my phone less” because you know that you’re more than likely not going to get things done that way. Instead, you should cherish every single thing you DO get done during the year of 2015.
It was on a BuzzFeed article that I saw this great idea of decorating a mason jar, and filling it with notes of every great thing that happens during 2015. I decorated a mason jar myself, and I can’t wait for 2015 to begin so I can start filling it up. The idea is to write down all the wonderful things you do or feel during the year and put them in the jar, and then by the end of the year you can look at everything you’ve done, and ultimately feel accomplished.
I think that this is a great idea because it will make you realize how much you have actually done instead of things that you haven’t done. I believe that this is a great way to stay positive and feel good about yourself. Just imagine how much all the little things can add up over the year. It doesn’t even matter if you write down something small like, “got an ‘A’ on a paper” or something big like, “went on a trip to Australia”. Big or small, anything that feels like an accomplishment to you personally, is amazing.
You need to let yourself see that you are amazing, and everything you do is amazing. Sure, you’re going to make mistakes, and you’re going to have your ups and downs, because after all, you’re human. But, despite these rough times, you’re also going to have exciting things happen to you. Like I said, it doesn’t even matter how small these positive things are, just write it down each time something awesome happens. You’ll feel stronger and happier if you do so.
Let 2015 be your year. Let it be the year of breaking out of old habits of any negativity, or any sense of doubt. 2015 will be better than 2014 simply because you will let it be better. So instead of making those resolutions, take 2015 day by day, and make sure you let things happen as they are meant to happen. I promise you that it will be a lot more satisfying that way.
Here’s to a Happy New Year!
Quote Of The Day: