Why Soulmates Don’t Exist

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I was watching an episode of Friends last night (as I typically do), the episode where Phoebe finds Monica’s “soulmate”, even though Monica and Chandler are married. Despite Chandler’s nervousness about the situation, Monica told him that she doesn’t believe in soulmates. She said that her and Chandler aren’t soulmates; they fell in love by choice, and they work hard at their relationship. Many might agree with the idea of soulmates, but I personally fall into the disbelief of such a concept.

It’s hard to believe that there is a person out there who is perfectly made to be your “other half”. You would spend your whole life searching for this specific person, if that were true. I believe that there are people out there with whom you can connect with or have a lot of things in common with. I think that’s the closest you can get to the idea of a soulmate. But despite similarities to another person, you are still very different from each other, which is why falling in love can be such a wonderful thing. You can pick up on each other’s imperfections, and you can help each other get through tough times. Relationships take a lot of hard work, just as Monica stated.

If the idea of soulmates was true, then people wouldn’t necessarily have to work as hard in relationships. The word “soulmate” reflects the idea that the other person was made just for you. If this was real, then, if you found that person, they would fit into your life with no complications because they would have everything that you have ever dreamed about. What’s the point of getting what you want if you can’t work for it? There’s no passion there whatsoever.

So stop spending so much time trying to find your perfect match. Chances are, that person doesn’t necessarily exist. Now, this isn’t a negative statement, but rather a declaration of reality. If you meet someone whom you become fond of, don’t hold back just because they’re different than your dream partner. Don’t hold back just because you have a gut feeling that they’re not your “soulmate”. If you work hard enough at a relationship with that person, it will soon feel like they’re that person you’ve been “searching for” this whole time.

Relationships are complex and frustrating, but giving up is not an option. Let things happen naturally, and life will be a lot more satisfying. Whoever you fall in love with is the person that you worked hard to be with. Never forget that.

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